Smiling Tears
by Kotoshin
Summary: A retelling of the Houshin Engi storyline. BL. no explicit H, but it IS implied. Plot is expected to follow the manga time until Fuugen is [spoiler] 'ed.
1. i

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:  
All rights and privileges to Houshin Engi belong to Ryu   
Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters   
from HE are used without permission for the purpose of   
entertainment only. This work of fanfiction is not meant for   
commercial use. No infringements of rights are intended.  
In other words - please don't sue me, I need my   
allowance to buy HE merchandise and make you guys rich!  
  
****************************************************************  
Smiling Tears  
Part I  
By Shioru Sutherlands (aka. Kotoshin)  
****************************************************************  
  
"You will regret."  
"Why?"  
"Because I will not forgive."  
  
blood  
the feel of blood   
the slick wet sensation of blood soaking into flesh   
draped over hands dripping down   
fingers clutching for familiar gentle arms which will never come  
blood  
the color of blood   
a vibrant strong red drying cracking into sheets of black   
burns sears brands onto numbed retina of eyes   
too weary with shock to close or look away   
weep tears that will not come  
blood  
the scent of blood   
the scent filling the air   
into this body twisting and corroding   
rampaging within until the nausea could not be contained and   
blood   
vomits out blood and blood flowing and more blood spilling after   
blood pooling ...  
  
"Fuugen."   
  
Someone was calling his name.   
  
"Fuugen."  
  
Help me, he wanted to say. Help me.  
Help me ... wash the blood away.  
  
"Yo, FUUGEN!"  
  
It was his fault. It was his fault they died. And it was his   
fault that he lived. It was his fault that he lived while they  
died.  
  
"...hn...?"  
  
Someone was shaking him vigorously.  
  
He opens his eyes a mere crack, afraid to see the remembered   
sight of crimson and black.   
  
"Daijoubu ... you alright?"  
  
A pair of green eyes, familiar and warm. Green eyes looking   
down worriedly at him. He smiles, moves the arm flung over   
his tousled blue hair, reaching up to touch a cheek.  
  
"Hai ... yes, what makes you ask that?" Fuugen Shinjin smiles,   
his usual, perfect smile. A smile that those green eyes know to   
be a mask.  
  
"... you had a nightmare."  
  
"... a nightmare?" Denial, a polite query with the barest  
tinge of disbelief.  
  
"... Fuugen, you were moaning in your sleep. It sounded ...   
well, as if you were in pain." Green eyes furious, glaring into   
his. "Tossing and turning so much that I couldn't sleep and   
you know very well how soundly I sleep not even thunderbolts and   
lightning can wake me up (so there :p) and if that wasn't a   
nightmare, what was?"  
  
The mask remains, flawless and seamless. It does not waver.   
He did not lie - not any more - not to himself, at least. He   
had learned how to be honest with himself because of a pair   
of vivid green eyes.   
  
"You think too much." Only this, the green eyes must not know.   
By keeping this secret, he would remain himself - true to   
himself. Green eyes had taught him that much.   
  
"Liar."  
  
Even if it meant lying to those same green eyes.  
  
"Bou-chan," Placatingly, the hand traced the outline of the   
cheek, turned and rested one finger onto the slightly pouting   
lips. "It was your fault, you know."  
  
"Being with me gives you /nightmares/?" Taikoubou was quite   
indignant. His ... his - bedmate (he will not use that other   
term which makes him oddly susceptible to whatever logical  
and reasonable suggestion his BEDMATE makes) - had nightmares   
because of sleeping with him?! Well, then, he'll just have to   
sleep elsewhere!  
  
Pulling away from the too intimate hand, Taikoubou scurried over   
to the edge of their (no, not theirs, Fuugen's) bed. Just as he   
swung his legs over the side to stand up, a pair of arms locked  
themselves securely around his waist.   
  
"Bou-chan, don't you know that it's bad manners to leave before  
someone's finished speaking?"  
  
"Fuugen, let go of me!"  
  
Swearing and struggling and flailing, a most uncooperative   
"Bou-chan" was pulled back into bed. Pushed down into the pillows  
by his shoulders, Taikoubou came nose to nose with Fuugen's  
angelic smile.  
  
/No ... not that smile - not that -/  
  
He could feel his anger melting, being replaced by a warm and  
tender ache in his gut that - no, he would not think that, he   
would not go there!  
  
"Bou-chan, you have trouble telling when I'm having   
nightmares ..." A breath against his ear, as Fuugen leaned in   
close to place a firm nibble onto a flushed lobe. " ... and   
when I'm dreaming of you."  
  
"... urm ... ahh ..."  
  
"I think I need to show you, hmmm?"  
  
The tone was husky. Husky, demanding, and possessive in all  
the promise that it made, unspoken.  
  
Taikoubou knew better than making anything other than a feeble   
whimper of protest as Fuugen made good the unspoken promise.  
Slowly.  
  
Very slowly.   
  
Much too slowly.  
  
================================================================  
TWO HOURS LATER .... (and to some, an eternity later)  
  
"Feeling better now?"  
  
Exhausted, Taikoubou somehow found the energy to throw a pillow   
at the speaker. It missed.   
  
/Drat./  
  
".... what do you think?" He could barely move and he was sore  
when he did and if Fuugen dared to point out that it /was/ a   
satisfied kind of soreness he will DO something drastic to that   
smiling moron and no he did not even /want/ to think about   
where Fuugen had found the stamina after last night to - uh-oh.  
  
Maybe that wasn't the best way to answer Fuugen's question.  
  
".... if you have enough spirit to complain, you surely have  
enough energy to get up again, don't you, Bou-chan?"  
  
/Help./  
  
Fuugen always did take him - literally. [1]  
  
================================================================  
DAWN  
  
It did not help Taikoubou's mood at all when Fuugen woke him up   
the next morning for his daily "meditation" session.  
  
"AIIIIIIEEEE!!!"   
  
"Ohayo gozaimasu," Fuugen was disgustingly cheerful in the   
unholy hour of morning. "Good morning, Bou-chan." It was barely   
PAST sunrise, for Senninkai's sake.  
  
"Fuugen, I've told you and told you and told you and TOLD YOU -"  
Dripping water, wet clothing[2] clinging to skin uncomfortably,   
Taikoubou wondered if it would be a good thing to wipe that   
smile off Fuugen's face. "You can wake me up however you like,   
but don't you DARE ever use Taikyokufuin to condense water   
molecules into ice AGAIN!!!"  
  
"Are you cold, Bou-chan?" Taikoubou shivered as the ice melted   
into rivulets of water, sliding down bared skin and raising   
goosebumps. The sennin even /sounded/ truly concerned for his   
health. Ha.  
  
"I.. I'm..m ... I am /not/ cold." Probably not a good idea, the   
teeth-chattering doushi decided, even though it would be   
immensely self-gratifying to make Fuugen lose that expression   
(anything but That Smile).   
  
"Just get me a dry towel or something." Hugging himself for  
warmth, Taikoubou glared at Fuugen, who was smiling peaceably  
down at his predicament.  
  
"Oh, I can think of better ways to get warm, Bou-chan." Taikoubou  
did not like the way the conversation was going.  
  
"For the last time, Fuugen, NO-mmmmphhmmmm!!!" As usual,   
"Bou-chan" did not even have time to protest properly before his  
lips were sealed and the rest of his body busily engaged in a   
struggle for domination of articles of clothing.   
  
.... why is this person his best friend?   
  
Not for the first time, Taikoubou asked himself as he fought   
Fuugen for ownership of his /own/ robes. The doushi could feel a   
headache coming on, and he was painfully light-headed from the   
lack of sleep from the previous evening. (In short, he was   
losing.)  
  
It was obviously going to be "one of those days".  
  
/How did I ever get myself into this mess?/  
  
Even worse, Taikoubou knew that he had no one else but himself   
to blame.  
  
/I remember now, I said "yes." (|||||bbbb)/   
  
================================================================  
FLASHBACK TIME (about 30 years ago) [3]  
  
"Yo, Fuugen." Sunning himself belly-up on the rock, Taikoubou   
spoke.  
  
"Hai, Bou-chan?" Tinkering with Taikyokufuin, Fuugen Shinjin sat   
cross-legged to the side.  
  
"We're best friends, right?"  
  
"For now, we are."  
  
"What the hell do you mean by that?!" Taikoubou bolted upright.  
  
"Exactly what I said, Bou-chan." Smiling his usual smile,   
Fuugen did not even look up.  
  
"Fuu. Gen. Shin. Jin." Taikoubou went for a wrestler's lock   
about Fuugen's neck. "Explain yourself."  
  
"It's not something you want to hear about."  
  
"Tell me~~~(cheapskate)~~~!"  
  
"Bou-chan, please let go of my neck first." Fuugen wasn't  
even flinching at the increase in pressure about his neck.   
"It's a bit difficult to talk - gah - like this."  
  
"Okay." Taikoubou loosened his hold. "Spit it out."  
  
"Is that the way you talk to your best friend?" Fuugen  
smiled sweetly.  
  
"Fuugen~~!!!" The doushi hated it when Fuugen took his   
time - to deliberately provoke him. [4]  
  
"I don't want to be Bou-chan's best friend any more."   
  
"NA ... NANI?" What? This he did not expect. But the next   
sentence floored him completely.  
  
"I want to be Bou-chan's lover."  
  
A serenely smiling Fuugen and a bug-eyed Taikoubou stared  
at each other for a long, drawn out moment.  
  
"... Fu-Fuugen, are you joking?" Hesitantly, Taikoubou  
was the first one to speak.  
  
"Do I look like I am?" Fuugen's smile had disappeared, and  
Taikoubou could see the serious intent in violet eyes.   
  
"Then what do you call this?" Taikoubou didn't give up the idea  
that Fuugen was putting one over him so easily. It /had/ been a   
long time since he hid Fuugen's clothes the last time they went   
swimming together. Taikoubou knew that Fuugen would find some   
way of getting even for /that/ sooner or later. He expected it.  
After all, payback made sense and /was/ common practice   
whenever one of them played a practical joke on the other.  
  
"A confession of love." Fuugen didn't even bat an eyelash, the  
violet gaze did not falter in the slightest.   
  
With a dropped jaw, Taikoubou stared at Fuugen (who was not  
smiling at all) in silence.  
  
"Fu ... Fuugen, I had no idea ..." For once, Taikoubou was at a   
loss of words.  
  
"This is why I can't be Bou-chan's best friend any more."   
Taking Taikyokufuin in both hands, Fuugen stood up abruptly.  
"It would hurt too much to stay with you, Bou-chan, now that  
you know how I feel.  
  
"It's best if we are only fellow students." Fuugen's face was   
without expression.  
  
"Wait a sec -" Ignoring him, Fuugen went on.  
  
"Bou-chan, the only reason for me to stay would be because you  
accepted me." Fuugen turned away. "But since I know that it's   
not possible -"  
  
"I SAID WAIT A SEC THERE!!!! (Were you even /listening/ to   
me at all?!)"   
  
"I told you - it wasn't something you wanted to hear."  
  
"What makes you think I don't like you?" Taikoubou regretted  
those words as soon as he said them, because -  
  
"... so, Bou-chan does like me." Turning around, Fuugen flashed  
a brilliant smile at him.  
  
"I didn't say that!" Taikoubou knew that he'd been tricked.  
  
"Bou-chan, if you need time to think it over ... I don't mind."  
The smile went as quickly as it came. Fuugen's eyes were those  
of someone who had lost hope. "But ... please give me a direct  
answer. I can't second guess you - I don't know what your   
answer will be unless you tell me."  
  
"......." Taikoubou stared at Fuugen.  
  
And stared.  
  
And Stared.  
  
".... Bou-chan ....? (||||||bbbbbb)" Fuugen was feeling   
uncomfortable under that unnerving stare.  
  
"... mmmpphhhhhhhHA!!!" Taikoubou burst out into maniacal   
laughter. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!"[5]  
  
".... Bou ... Bou-chan ....? (||||||bbbbbb)" Fuugen was feeling   
decidedly uncomfortable.  
  
"... it's not fair, oh, gods ..." Weakly, Taikoubou buried his  
head under his arms as his shoulders shook with silent laughter.  
" ... it's so UNfair ... you ...? Heeheeheeheeheehee.... not   
able to tell how I think ....? eheeheeheeheeheeheehee....there's  
a laugh for you ... you KNEW what I would answer if you gave me  
a choice like this, DAMMIT, you bastard!!!"  
  
"......" Fuugen did not answer.  
  
"... it's not @#$^#%&*@ FAIR!!! You know it's not fair to make   
me choose like that! It just isn't!"  
  
"Bou-chan, life isn't fair." No denial.  
  
"... and you know that I don't want to lose you ... as a friend  
... or as ..." Taikoubou's voice grew too small to be heard.  
  
"... Bou-chan?" Fuugen leaned over the bent figure worriedly.  
  
"Alright. You win." Taikoubout raised his head, extending one   
hand to Fuugen. Bright green eyes sparkled with amusement and   
admiration. [6] "It's a deal."   
  
"I'll hold you to those words, Bou-chan." Smiling, Fuugen took   
Taikoubou's hand.  
  
"Yeah, yeah ..." He shrugged carelessly. "And even if I so  
conveniently 'forget', you'd be sure to remind-eeeehhh?!?"  
  
Fuugen's face was suddenly too close.  
  
=====================================  
FLASHBACK STILL (5 minutes after)   
  
"DAT HURD." Clutching his nose, Taikoubou whined. "OW. Dow dook  
dwat 'ou did." [7]  
  
Stooped in an identical posture beside, the said culprit was   
trying very hard to keep laughter to a minimum.  
  
" 'orry, Bou-chan ..." Fuugen snickered softly, tears of mirth   
trickling past his cheek. "... dat /wuz/ going 'o be my furth   
kith." [8]  
  
Apparently, Fuugen's kissing skills needed some work.  
  
As Fuugen continued to laugh at his own mishap, Taikoubou had a   
headache. He also had the sinking feeling that there would be   
more days with headaches like this one, and that Fuugen would be   
the cause of most, if not all of them.   
  
And he was right.  
  
================================================================  
PRESENT (sometime before Taikoubou begun the Houshin Project)[9]  
  
Fighting with hands that were taking his clothing off as fast  
as he could put them on was not the way Taikoubou preferred to  
start the day. (And that's without taking the Taikyokufuin  
ice incident into account for a "bad morning" ... )  
  
"Fuugen, gimme my pants back!"  
  
"Do you think that's likely, Bou-chan," the sennin did not even  
pause to speak. "... given the state you're in?"  
  
While engaged in a tug-of-war over Taikoubou's pants, Fuugen's  
student Mokutaku walked in.  
  
"Fuugen-shishou[10], Taikoubou-susuu ... what are you doing?"  
  
================================================================  
~tbc~  
================================================================  
[1] So shi likes puns too much. Too bad it'll get lost once it's  
translated into Chinese. ^_^  
[2] Why is Taikoubou dressed? To be revealed in the next part.   
*insert cheesy suspense music here*  
[3] Remember the fishing scene in chapter 136? This is set   
directly after that.  
[4] Fuugen: It's working. Who are we to argue with results? ^_^  
[5] Hey, if Ryu Fujisaki can do it, so can I. ^_-  
[6] I'd admire someone who can pull something like this off  
successfully, too.   
[7] "THAT HURT. OW. Now look what you did."  
[8] "Sorry, Bou-chan ... that /was/ going to be my first kiss."  
[9] In other words, shi hadn't decided when, but it's BEFORE  
Taikoubou starts the Houshin Project in the manga.  
[10] See Appendix I at the end.  
================================================================  
Shin no Freetalk:  
MWAHAHAHAHA.  
How's Fuugen going to explain /this/ one? ^O^  
Knowing Shi's version of Fuugen, he's already got some   
innocuous excuse ready ...  
Eheheheheheheh....  
Basically, shi started with the first scene, and it just -   
gained momentum on it's own.  
Oh, why this title?  
Well - because it's mostly about Fuugen Shinjin.   
And what his past would be like. And how that past made him the  
person he is.  
Shi is an evil evil evil EVIL person who will not let gen-chan   
have a happy childhood. See, Fuugen's smile is angelic, but,   
there always seems to be something that's not quite a smile   
behind it ...   
...so Shi based the premise of Fuugen's past on what /could/ be   
behind the smile.  
Inspiration? ... well, part of it would be sth akin to RK's   
Soujiro-san's past. Alright, no more spoiling. ^_^  
Except one more thing - this fic would probably end w/ Fuugen's   
spoiler.  
So, in any relationships involving Fuugen - *mwahahahahah* - shi   
is going to let gen-chan be the emotional aggressor.  
Run, bou-chan, run.  
And you too, ouji-sama. *heart*   
  
mail shi-chan at kichin@doushi.org with any comments! ^o^  
================================================================  
Sneak previews of what's going to happen next:  
  
Taikoubou gets it good ... and wet.   
Ouji-sama makes his appearance.  
Did shi mention that it will definitely be a darker chapter than   
this one? ^_^;  
================================================================  
First Edition: September 5th, 2000 at 2:40 PM  
Last Revised: September 9th, 2000 at 4:50 PM  
================================================================  
APPENDIX I - terms to remember:  
  
KEY -   
(japanese term = chinese equivalent term = english explanation)   
  
shishou = shi jiang = teacher/master   
shihan = shi fu = teacher/master   
shi xiong is the chinese term for a fellow student/disciple   
under the same teacher/master, with seniority when   
compared to oneself  
shitei = shi di = fellow student/disciple under the same   
teacher/master, with less seniority than oneself  
teishi = di tzu = student/disciple  
choukei = tzan xion = eldest student/disciple  
mattei = mo di = the youngest student/disciple  
susuu = shi suu = fellow student/disciple of one's   
teacher/master  
shi-oi (oi being japanese for nephew) = shi tze = student of a   
fellow student under the same master as oneself   
================================================================  



	2. ii

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:  
All rights and privileges to Houshin Engi belong to Ryu   
Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters   
from HE are used without permission for the purpose of   
entertainment only. This work of fanfiction is not meant for   
commercial use. No infringements of rights are intended.  
In other words - please don't sue me, I need my   
allowance to buy HE merchandise and make you guys rich!  
  
****************************************************************  
Smiling Tears  
Part II  
By Shioru Sutherlands (aka. Kotoshin)  
****************************************************************  
  
What is love?  
  
If love is defined, what would be that definition?  
What lines can be drawn to decide where love begins and ends?  
What rules can be set to predict the course love takes?  
What laws can be used to calculate the width, the breadth, the  
very depth of the emotion that is love?  
  
What, is love?  
  
If love is defined, is it defined by time?  
Does the length of time I have known you affect my judgement,   
distort what I see of the person before me?  
  
If love is defined, is it defined by space?  
Does the distance between us affect my longing for you,   
increasing proportionally, as you come closer to me?  
  
If love is defined, is it defined by the number of times I   
think of you, speak of you by name?  
If love is defined, is it defined by the number of times you   
reach for me, call for me by name?  
  
What, is love?  
  
What is this feeling, this need?  
What is this need - to have you hear only me?  
What is this need - to have your eyes only on me?  
What is this need - to have you speak only to me?  
What is this need - to have you only with me?  
  
And yet ...  
It is not so simple, this need.  
Possession of you is not what I need.  
Love is not only this feeling, this need.  
  
Love is free.  
I cannot possess that which is free.  
I cannot hold it captive, against its will.  
I cannot trap it within my hands, cannot touch it with force.  
  
What is love?  
If I can define love, can I define what I feel for you?  
  
- "Defining Equation: Love = ?"  
-- Fuugen Shinjin  
  
================================================================  
PRESENT (before Taikoubou begun the Houshin Project)[1]  
  
"Mokutaku, perfect timing." Smiling, Fuugen Shinjin pried   
Taikoubou's pants from fingers loosened by surprise and   
consternation. "You can help me get your Taikoubou-susuu into   
the bath."  
  
"... the bath?" Taikoubou repeated, dumbly.  
  
"... the bath?" Mokutaku echoed.  
  
"Yes, the bath." Fuugen answered both questions as he began  
folding his 'prizes of war' away. "Bou-chan, you're dripping all   
over my nice clean bedsheets -"   
  
"Hai, shishou -" Mokutaku was about to assist his teacher when   
a shout from Taikoubou stopped him.  
  
"AND WHOSE BLOODY FAULT WAS THAT?"  
  
"Now, now, Bou-chan," With his voice taking on a chiding tone as   
he turned to Taikoubou, Fuugen pushed the disheveled doushi off   
the bed. "I wouldn't have used ice to wake you up, if you would   
wake up more promptly when I call you."  
  
"Well, you should have tried harder!"   
  
A wide-eyed Mokutaku watched the two friends spar verbally in   
silence.  
  
"But I did, Bou-chan." Tsking in disapproval as he examined the   
sorry-looking sheets, Fuugen replied easily. "First, I dressed   
you [2] as best as I could, considering how violently you lash   
out whenever someone lays a finger on you in sleep. [3]"  
  
Taikoubou opened his mouth as if to say something, then thought  
better of it, and closed his mouth on whatever he was going to  
say. One could practically see the steam fuming above the   
doushi's head.  
  
Smiling, Fuugen blithely continued his 'explanation,' as he   
removed the sheets from the bed.   
  
"Then I called and shook you several times, but you only mumbled   
and rolled over. When I tried to physically remove you from   
the bed, you refused to budge. In fact, you clung to the bed  
like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood. I couldn't pry you   
off. The ice was only the last resort when all else failed."  
  
Taikoubou could only slump on the floor, clutch his head and   
groan in defeat.  
  
"... so /that's/ why ..." Used to his susuu overnighting at his  
shishou's residence [4] (as well as their bickering habits and  
various eccentricities), Mokutaku nodded.  
  
Meanwhile, Fuugen had walked over to Taikoubou.  
  
"What the-!?!" The doushi attempted to pull loose from the grip   
the sennin had on his arms. "Fuugen, if you think I'm just going   
to do what you order me to, you're dead wrong!"   
  
"Mokutaku, if you will help, please?"  
  
"Hai, shishou!"  
  
"Mokutaku, don't listen to him!" Unfortunately, Mokutaku was  
Fuugen's student, not his.  
  
Carrying Taikoubou by arms and legs, Fuugen and Mokutaku somehow   
managed to get the half-naked and wildly thrashing doushi into  
the bathing chamber.  
  
"$#%@$% %#%$#%@^$ YOU $!$%&^## FUUGEN!!!! I'll GET you for this   
one, I SWEAR!!!"  
  
Mokutaku's face turned beet red, but Fuugen only smiled at the   
use of profane language.  
  
*SPLASH*  
  
Taikoubou looked like a landed fish as his eyes went round,   
mouth flapping open and shut several times as he went under  
the surface again.  
  
"Bglubblublublub...!!!..."  
  
"Thank you, Mokutaku, you may have the morning off." While the   
doushi was busy spluttering water and unintelligible profanity,   
Fuugen spoke. "I would suggest you to practice those sword   
stroke counters I taught you yesterday, as I will be quizzing   
you on practical defense in the afternoon."  
  
"Hai, shishou," The obvious question could be seen clearly on  
Mokutaku's face.   
  
"Oh, I shall be busy here ..." A faint hint of malice crept into  
Fuugen's voice. "... since Bou-chan /never/ washes behind his   
ears."  
  
In the background, unnoticed by Mokutaku, Taikoubou made gagging  
noises.  
  
"Hai, shishou!" Mokutaku left. [5]  
  
================================================================  
BATHING CHAMBER (30 minutes later) [6]  
  
Nervously, Taikoubou waited alone in silence. After making him   
surrender his last piece of clothing [7], Fuugen had left to 'do  
laundry.'  
  
/Where the bloody hell is that idiot?/ Taikoubou leaned back,  
head resting against the edge of the bathing pool, listening to  
the irregular sound of liquid dripping from the stalactites   
overhead. Worn smooth by centuries of falling water, it fit   
perfectly to his neck.   
  
/Breathe in./ The doushi gritted his teeth and recalled what  
he knew of meditation into service. /Breathe out. Stop. Don't   
think of him. Think about something else. Anything else. You   
know he's only doing this to annoy you. So, if you are annoyed,   
you're playing right into his hands. Breathe in. Breathe out./  
  
Eyes half-closed, Taikoubou began dozing in the warmth of the  
heated pool.   
  
/Breathe in. Breathe out. Don't think ... breathe in ....   
breathe out .../  
  
Gradually, the tension in his muscles dissipated away, and he   
was set adrift in thought.  
  
/I want my clothes back. DRY clothing, thank you very much,  
Fuugen-I'm-Doing-This-For-Your-Own-Good. I want to get out of   
here -/  
  
His stomach grumbled.  
  
/- and I want my breakfast, DAMMIT!/  
  
As if on cue, the sound of footsteps broke the pitter-patter of   
water droplets.  
  
"Bou-chan, would you like to have some breakfast?" Still   
smiling, from the sound of his voice. Doesn't that moron's face  
ever get tired of doing that?  
  
"YES." The scent of porridge reached his nostrils. "I'm   
/starving/."  
  
Even if Fuugen did get on his nerves, the sennin was one of the   
best cooks he knew. Which was why, despite Fuugen's other   
faults[8], he kept on coming back here for more. [9]  
  
"It's Shinsen porridge[10], one of your favorites." Fuugen   
chuckled at the plaintive tone. "And there's also peaches for  
dessert."  
  
/... maybe it's not so bad at all .../  
  
"Feed me." Taikoubou's laziness bug kicked in.  
  
".... it will be my pleasure, Bou-chan."  
  
"Aaah." Someone never seems to learn from past mistakes ...  
  
"Mmmmm."   
  
Eyes closed, Taikoubou wondered why Fuugen hadn't put the spoon   
to his open mouth yet.  
  
"Aah...?!!"   
  
Lips closed over his, deft tongue slipping between his teeth.  
Familiar taste, sweetened by the added scent of water lilies.  
Resisting the urge to bite down (because he knew that vengeance   
would be swift and merciless), Taikoubou was mouth-fed by   
Fuugen. [11]  
  
He took a long time to swallow that first mouthful. [12]  
  
================================================================  
3 MINUTES & 48 SECONDS LATER ...  
  
Gasping, Taikoubou glared at the ever-smiling Fuugen Shinjin  
with sheer ... sheer ... sheer ... oh bleep it! He didn't know   
what noun to use for the emotion he felt, but it sure as hell   
was more than mere indignation!  
  
"More porridge?"  
  
"Fuugen, gimme that bowl." Taikoubou didn't bother wasting time  
arguing with the sennin. He grabbed both bowl and spoon from the  
hands which held them loosely, as if expecting such a move.  
  
And the Shinsen porridge quickly disappeared.  
  
Wordlessly, Fuugen took away the spoon and the empty bowl,   
setting them onto the tray he brought them in. Wordlessly,   
Fuugen then passed Taikoubou the basket of peaches. Wordlessly,   
Taikoubou took them one by one and ate in silence.  
  
He began to worry after the fifth peach. Fuugen was too quiet.  
Fuugen wasn't moving closer. Fuugen did not seem to have any  
interest in what he was doing except to take each peach pit   
away and to pass him another peach.  
  
In other words, Fuugen wasn't happy with him.  
  
And an unhappy Fuugen was definitely NOT a good thing.  
  
Sneaking a look at his surroundings, Taikoubou caught sight of  
the clean clothing Fuugen had brought along with his breakfast.   
He started doing mental calculations of the amount of time   
needed get to the pile, grab the clothing, and run out of the   
bathing chamber before Fuugen could grab /him/.   
  
/Yeah ... I think I can just make it .../  
  
A soft rustling sound interrupted his thoughts, and Taikoubou  
nearly choked on his eighth peach when he looked toward the   
source of the sound.  
  
Fuugen was disrobing.  
  
"Fuugen, if you /dare/ come into the bath I'll ..."  
  
"... you'll do what?" The sennin did not look at him, having  
undressed down to pants only. "... try to drown me? I'm the   
better swimmer of the two of us, Bou-chan."   
  
"I'll - I'll jam this peach pit down your throat!"  
  
"No need for violence, Bou-chan." Fuugen slid smoothly into the  
water. "I don't intend to do anything to you."  
  
"Don't come any closer!" Taikoubou moved away as fast as he   
could, movement hindered by the water.   
  
"Bou-chan..." Fuugen made no move to follow. "Do you hate the   
thought of me touching you that much?"  
  
Uncertainty cracked the sennin's usually confident voice.  
  
"... well ...." Taikoubou tried glare back at Fuugen, expecting  
a ruse. Only to find Fuugen with an expression he'd never have  
thought to see on the sennin's face.  
  
Fuugen did not look at him nor turn away, as the sennin often  
did when maneuvering him into a position he did not particularly  
care for. Instead, Fuugen Shinjin merely looked away to the   
side, leaving the desolate longing naked on the handsome face.  
  
/chained  
I am chained  
held down  
bound and trapped and restrained  
chained to this pain  
this pain... /  
  
Mechanically, he let the water fall from his hands...   
  
/cannot break   
these chains I wear  
cannot ease   
this pain I bear  
cannot wash   
the bloodstains clear -/  
  
... before dipping them back into the water.   
  
/can't forget  
I swear .../  
  
He repeated this action over ...  
  
/it eats at me   
even in sleep  
it gnaws at me   
the wounds bone deep  
it tears at me   
I cannot weep -/  
  
...and over again ...  
  
/in chains  
in pain  
in bloodstains  
on my hands  
blood ... stains .../  
  
... knowing that the water could not take the blood away the   
blood that only he could see on his hands the blood that he   
could feel no matter what he did but could not help but try to -  
  
/blood... stains...  
wash away the  
bloodstains .../  
  
"... Fuugen?"  
  
Startled out of his thoughts, he looked up.  
  
"Yes, Bou-chan?" The smile had become a reflex, his automatic  
defense.  
  
"... nothing." Taikoubou knew that smile far too well. It was  
the smile Fuugen used whenever he did not want to answer a  
question. "I ... I wouldn't mind your hands on me so much...  
touching me ... if they /don't/ lead to anything else."  
  
"Oh?" The smile was genuine this time. "How would you like me  
to touch you, then, Bou-chan?"  
  
"ARRRRGGGGH." Taikoubou wondered why he bothered worrying about   
this idiot at all.  
  
"Just kidding, Bou-chan." Fuugen laughed. "You can set out the   
rules while we're in here." [13]  
  
"... no kidding?" At Fuugen's nod, Taikoubou breathed a sigh of  
relief. "Okay, as far as /bathing/ goes, you're allowed to do my  
back and wash my hair, but nothing else, got that?"  
  
"Certainly, Bou-chan."  
  
"Promise."  
  
"I'll do your back, wash your hair - /and/ behind your ears -   
and I won't touch you anywhere else. I promise."  
  
"Alright." Pondering Fuugen's words, Taikoubou could not find  
any loopholes which the smiling sennin could exploit. "Go on."  
  
"Will you do my back for me, too, Bou-chan?" Fuugen asked as he  
began soaping down Taikoubou's back.  
  
"After you're done with me, yeah."  
  
"You don't mind me talking while doing this, do you?"  
  
"... you're asking a lot of questions today, Fuugen." Taikoubou  
felt uneasy. "What's with you?"  
  
"Perhaps I feel like taking your opinions into consideration   
today, Bou-chan."  
  
".... so, you do know that you've been /abusing/ me?!"  
  
"Bou-chan ... I promise not to do anything you say 'no' to, and   
I apologize for my behavior."  
  
"... Fuugen?" The sennin's arms were about his neck, and he   
could feel the weight of Fuugen's head resting against his own,   
as well as warm breaths on his bared throat.  
  
"I'm sorry .. Bou-chan."  
  
"Fuugen, what are you talking about?" This was not usual. This  
was not something Fuugen usually did. This ... wasn't like   
Fuugen at all.   
  
"For taking advantage of you so often these days." The sennin  
sounded sincere - and for once, Taikoubou believed him.   
  
Fuugen didn't even try to 'accidentally' brush against   
Taikoubou... that was worrying, because the sennin usually   
enjoyed getting a rise out of Taikoubou in any way he can.   
  
/... what's going on?/  
  
But still ...  
  
"Does that mean you'll stop?" He couldn't help but ask in a   
hopeful tone.  
  
"No." Fuugen nuzzled his neck, half-sighing. "After all, you   
asked me for it in the first place."  
  
"... I thought I told you not to mention /that/ again."  
  
Taikoubou was answered by a throaty chuckle.  
  
"I /did/ have other suggestions, but you never bothered asking  
for them ..."  
  
It had been an ... interesting afternoon, thirty years ago.  
  
================================================================  
FLASHBACK TIME (about 30 years ago) [14]  
  
Taikoubou was on his usual rock perch, deeply "meditating".   
  
Sitting upright in the "lotus-seat" position, his eyes were   
closed, his breathing was even, his expression utterly at peace   
with the world.   
  
Taikoubou was sound asleep.  
  
"Bou-chan, you're slacking off again." A shadow fell across the   
doushi's face as a hand took him by the shoulder, shaking him   
awake. "Genshitenson-sama isn't very pleased with you."  
  
"... *grumble* ... whatever, Fuugen." Taikoubou was as grouchy   
as every time his 'beauty sleep' was interrupted.  
  
"Bou-chan, why do you do this?" Fuugen sat down beside him.  
  
Given a softer prospect than the outcrop of rock, Taikoubou   
immediately used Fuugen's lap as a pillow.  
  
"Because I'm bored." Opening his eyes to mere slits, the doushi  
replied. "I mean, what's the point of learning all this stuff if  
I'm not gonna actually use it?"  
  
"... are you hoping to be exiled from the Senninkai, Bou-chan?"  
  
"Nah." Taikoubou chewed on his lower lip. "I'm hoping that this  
would make the old man give me something more interesting to   
do. Something I actually care shit about instead of those stupid  
rules and regulations we've had to memorize lately. Something   
like actually helping the people down there. I mean, I've   
learned a lot since I came here, grown stronger, but ..."  
  
He couldn't quite put it into words, the restlessness he felt,  
the need to be actually /doing/ something for the mortals in  
Ningenkai, rather than devoting himself to his studies and  
advance to the next level of immortality.  
  
"... it's something you can't forget, what happened to bring  
you here, isn't it?"  
  
Taikoubou made a non-committal sound, which Fuugen interpreted  
roughly to mean "isn't it the same for you, too?"   
  
/I know, Bou-chan./  
  
Fuugen could feel it, too, the restlessness. The feeling as if  
there was something else that should be done, the feeling as if  
he should do something ... the feeling of a dark and deadly   
storm - a hurricane - hovering just out of sight at the horizon.   
A building windstorm ready to loose all hell across the sky.  
  
/I know ... /  
  
Strange winds of fate which would change the very course of   
history. Terrible winds of change which would blow away those   
unprepared for its coming. Rising, winds of fury which would   
break ... soon.  
  
/I remember .../  
  
He had became a pupil under Genshitenson-sama at the same time  
as Taikoubou, for the same reason. The same reason that made   
them both orphans.  
  
/... the blood .../  
  
There were Immortals in the world. Those who had reached a  
certain degree of understanding of the universe and its   
mysteries were the sennin. Those who were still learning the  
mysteries were the doushi. Immortal, with abilities beyond that  
of mere mortals.  
  
/... the screams .../  
  
Immortals, who can be either good or evil.   
  
/... the pain .../  
  
At the whim of an Immortal sennyo, many villages were razed to  
the ground.   
  
/... the loss./  
  
Because of that whim, two children who would not have otherwise   
met were brought together. Both children were the sole   
survivors of the attack on their respective villages. Both   
children were born with sennin bones, the potential to become   
one of the sennin.  
  
/I cannot forget .../  
  
Both children were taken to Mount Koron by Genshitenson, the   
leader of the many sennin residing there.  
  
"... Fuugen."  
  
Close in age and circumstance, the two had become friends.  
Friends, and perhaps something more ...  
  
"Yo, Fuugen!"   
  
"... hm ...? Sorry, Bou-chan. I wasn't listening." Taikoubou   
had sat up, and was glaring at him irritately under unruly brown   
locks of hair.   
  
"For the last time, you gonna help me do this or what?"  
  
"You know what my answer is, Bou-chan." Fuugen smiled, and   
ruffled those messy forelocks, exposing the green eyes.   
  
"Great!"  
  
"I have only one question."  
  
"And that is ...?"  
  
"What did you want me to help you with?" At that, Taikoubou   
nearly fell off the rock.  
  
Fortunately, Fuugen had expected that, and had caught ahold of   
Bou-chan's hand before the doushi fell all the way to the   
Ningenkai.  
  
"Help me with my plan to get Genshitenson's sanction in acting  
on the behalf of the people in Ningenkai, of course!"  
  
/What happened to us should never happen again. NEVER./  
  
"... how would you plan to do that?"  
  
"Weren't you listening to me?" Taikoubou had a headache.  
  
"Sorry, but I wasn't, Bou-chan." Fuugen smiled down at him  
angelically. "That's why I'm asking."  
  
"Okay. It's like this - I want to be a slacker."  
  
"... that shouldn't be too hard for you."  
  
"...#... shut up and listen to me. But I still want to keep up   
with my studies, it's just that I don't want the old man to know   
I am. That's where you come in."  
  
"Gotcha. And?"  
  
"And then, because I appear to be such a sorry credit to his  
teaching methods, Genshi-ol'man would send me down to the Ninkai  
with his blessings. He won't want to have me up here again."  
  
"... sounds like it should work, but what does this part have  
to do with me?"  
  
"Fuugen, while I /like/ to sleep, it gets awfully boring after  
twelve hours of 'meditation'." Taikoubou folded his arms under  
the back of his head. "Since that's taken care of, I might as   
well be doing something interesting at nights."  
  
"... so, you're saying ..."  
  
"BINGO." Taikoubou leaned in, grinning widely at Fuugen. "Think  
you can manage with a little less sleep? This way, I wouldn't be   
so bored when I'm faking it." [15]  
  
"Bou-chan, you know I wouldn't mind at all." Fuugen had to make  
an effort to keep his smile guileless. It wouldn't do at all to   
let Bou-chan know that he'd been reading the Sujyokyo [16]   
lately.  
  
================================================================  
PRESENT  
  
"...#... if you had other suggestions, why didn't you tell me?"  
Taikoubou was not happy, remembering how Fuugen had insisted on  
doing things "by the book."  
  
"I told you, Bou-chan." Fuugen smiled as Taikoubou took his   
arms in hand, and turned to face him. "You didn't ask."  
  
"... and I suppose you didn't feel like telling me because you  
liked my suggestion better?"  
  
"Bou-chan is so smart."  
  
Just before Taikoubou gave in to the urge to sock Fuugen a good  
one in the eye, two words stopped him.  
  
"... Houshin Keikaku."  
  
"... Hou-what?"  
  
"Houshin Keikaku, the Houshin Project." Taikoubou could not read   
the expression in blue-violet eyes. "We don't have much time   
left ... together."  
  
/I don't want to let go.   
Don't want to let you go.  
So I cling fast to you.  
As often as I can.  
So I hold fast to you.  
As often as I am capable.  
So I love you.  
But ..../  
  
"Fuugen, do you know something that I don't?" Arms retightening   
about Taikoubou's neck, face delving into the hollow between   
throat and collarbone.  
  
/If you love something, let it go.  
If it comes back to you, it is yours.  
If it doesn't ... then it was never meant to be./ [17]  
  
"Mmmhmm." He breathes in the scent of wind, the scent that was  
uniquely Taikoubou's.  
  
"Well, tell me!"  
  
"The Houshin Project." Fuugen's voice was monotonous, as if   
reciting directly from memory. "The Project proposed by the   
Three Great Sennin to eliminate negative sendou [18] presence   
from the Ningenkai sphere. Specifically, remove the influence   
of one kosen[19], currently possessing the name and body of   
one 'So Dakki.'"  
  
/So... Dakki .../  
  
Taikoubou's eyes narrowed at the mention of the kosen.  
  
/... the vixen who ORDERED my people's deaths .../  
  
"It's starting." Fuugen said calmly. "What you have been   
waiting for."  
  
"... Fuugen, you hacked into Genshitenson's terminal again,  
didn't you?" Green eyes bright with anticipation, Taikoubou  
said admiringly. "Tell me everything you know! Tell me now!"  
  
"Bend your head over so I can wash your hair while I talk."  
  
"... (mou~) ... fine. Watch it with the soapsuds."  
  
"Under this identity, she has upsurped the place of the rightful  
Empress Kyohi, of the Ningenkai Dynasty 'In'. Chou Ou, the   
current Emperor, is nothing but her cat's-paw, speaking her   
words. The high tax increase among the peasantry lately is also   
her doing.She has gathered a lot of like-minded sendou   
(numbering roughly 300~400, mostly comprised of youkai-sennin),   
as her subordinates.   
  
"Elimination of Dakki and her cohorts from Ninkai is the   
objective. However, they are not to be permitted re-entry into  
the Senninkai. Since it is against the Senninkai laws (section   
128:2.7) to take the lives of other sendou, a safe and humane   
disposal method must be taken into consideration.  
  
"Therefore, a place of containment (codename: Shinkai) will be   
arranged. Once construction of 'Houshin Dai,' a prison designed   
to capture the souls of defeated sendou, is completed, Houshin  
Kenkaku will be initiated with its activation.  
  
"Current proposed 'Houshin Keikaku' executor: Taikoubou.  
Current 'Houshin Keikaku' status: TBA tomorrow."  
  
"That all you've got?" Taikoubou was mildly disappointed, "Hey,   
not behind the ears! It itches!"  
  
"I'm done." Fuugen rinsed the last bit of soap away. "I could   
not penetrate the system further without alerting   
Genshitenson-sama of what I was up to. He will most likely   
summon you today ... to entrust you with the project.  
  
"This information is current as of last night, after you fell   
asleep."  
  
"... this fast?"  
  
"Yes. I knew you'll be leaving soon, so -" Fuugen held him,   
reburying face into the junction between chin and chest. "I ...  
I wanted to hold you while I still can."  
  
"So that's what all the recent -" Taikoubou shut up. It really  
would hurt his case (among other things) with Fuugen if he dared  
accuse the sennin of nymphomanical activities.  
  
"I'll make it up to you tonight," the voice beside his ear said.  
"Bou-chan."  
  
"Oh no you don't -"   
  
"I'll let you do anything you want to me," the voice cajoled,   
"And I won't deny you anything - just for tonight."  
  
"What's the catch?" Taikoubou was still suspicious of Fuugen's  
motives.  
  
"Just ... let me rest like this, for a while ..." the voice,  
Fuugen's voice, sounding ... tired? Nah, it couldn't be.  
  
Could it?  
  
"I /am/ tired, Bou-chan. I'm not as full of boundless energy as   
you seem to think I am." Fuugen's chin was resting on his   
shoulder, arms wound about his neck, body tucked snugly onto   
his. "After ... you fell asleep, I couldn't. So I ran a check   
on the status of the Houshin Project." [20]  
  
"... Fuugen, thank you."   
  
"Don't thank me." His eyes were growing heavy. "I would have   
done it even if not for you, Bou-chan ... (yawn) ... but you're   
welcome, nevertheless."  
  
"Hey - wait a sec!" Taikoubou did not foresee this turn of   
events. "Don't fall asleep on - oh, great."  
  
Fuugen was fast asleep.  
  
The sennin was breathing evenly against his shoulder, arms still  
firmly wound about his neck.  
  
/He looks like an angel .../ Sighing, Taikoubou ran his hands   
through the tousled blue hair.  
  
Still, being used as a body pillow in exchange to doing ANYTHING   
he pleased to that wicked angel - even just for one night ...  
  
Taikoubou began plotting his revenge. [21]  
  
================================================================  
~tbc~  
================================================================  
[1] Shi's decided. It is now the dawn of the first day in the  
manga, chapter 1. ^_^  
[2] Mystery solved. Fuugen dressed Taikoubou to get him up and  
ready in time.  
[3] Taikoubou: *sarcastically* Gee, I wonder why?  
[4] Fuugen Shinjin's residence on Mount Konron is at Kukyusan's  
Hakkushiru Dou. Roughly translating the place name into  
English would be "Nine-Palace-Peak's White-Crane-Cave."  
[5] And the poor lad /still/ has no inkling of Taikoubou-susuu   
and Fuugen-shishou's true relationship ... *sweatdrop*  
[6] Shi has set Fuugen's residence as a large natural cave   
complex. Limestone caves often have natural springs,   
given the limestone's permeability to water. The bathing   
chamber is a part of this limestone cave complex. Rig   
in a heating source and you've got hot water. (And the   
water is quite rich in minerals, so it's healthy to   
drink! It's also great for brewing Chinese tea. ^_^)  
[7] Which would be the dark long-sleeved shirt Taikoubou has   
under the robe with the Ying-Yang symbol. Fuugen had  
acquired the jacket, the headscarf, the waist-sash, the  
robe AND the gloves when Mukutaku walked in on them   
fighting over the pants.   
[8] Such as charging the 'fee' of staying the night ... ^_^;  
[9] Fuugen: *sniffle* I'm hurt. So you're only here to freeload   
the food?  
[10] Shinsen porridge is basically white rice porridge made from   
white-fruit and fuu-juh (another name for bean-curd.   
it's very nutritious). When it just reaches the boiling   
point, one'd put a freshly plucked water lily pad over   
it and close the lid. Ten minutes later the porridge   
turns a gorgeous emerald color (which happens to be   
the shade of susuu's eyes ...) and fills one's mouth   
with the scent of water lilies when eaten. Susuu likes   
a little sugar w/ his, but shi prefers it the way it is.   
MMMMmm-good. ^_^  
[11] O.O Shi wanna too! Feed shi, Fuugen-sama!   
[12] ... 3 minutes and 48 seconds, to be exact.  
[13] Susuu, would you please note Fuugen's choice of words   
carefully? Sheesh ... but ... FIC IDEA BORN! See   
"senseless babble" below.  
[14] This happens several months after Taikoubou 'accepts'   
Fuugen. See "smiling tears, pt. i" for details. And YES,  
there is room enough for the two of them on that rock  
outcropping - it wasn't that /small/ (as seen in vol. 1   
of the manga) until Genshitenson-sama blasted susuu for   
being lazy, roughly 25 years before Houshin Keikaku.  
[15] Susuu, you /REALLY/ asked for it. It really is his fault for  
/asking/ Fuugen to keep him up at nights. Guess someone  
thought he was going to be 'top' ... Credit for this  
idea goes to Ruby-chan, who commented on the fact that  
susuu started slacking off at about the same time he went   
on that fishing trip with Fuugen.  
[16] According to legend, Sujyokyo was a book written by Koutai  
Nokien (one of the first emperors of China) and one of   
his concubines. It's basically the Chinese equivalent of   
the Kama Sutra.  
[17] From a novel shi read. "Snowbird". Forgot who the author  
was. Help, anyone?  
[18] sendou = a collective term for Immortals, be they sennin or  
be they doushi.  
[19] kosen = fox sennin. A youkai-sennin who was originally a  
fox.  
[20] Poor Fuugen. He slept less than 3 hours last night.  
[21] *snicker* Does anyone actually believe he'll succeed?  
================================================================  
Shin no Freetalk:  
MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.  
More evilness ensues. ^o^v  
  
Ouji-sama? Oh, you mean what happened to his appearance?  
*twiddles fingers* ... well ... see, it's like this ...  
(a) once susuu got into hot water, he liked it too well to leave  
(b) Fuugen was sent to get susuu out of hot water  
(c) Fuugen /kept/ susuu there   
(d) Shi ran out of room for ouji-sama   
(e) ouji-sama starts BITCHING at shi for turning his poem into a   
Fuugen POV one + changing his appearance to token cameo,   
and later to none. -_-;  
  
... so, this chapter took a while to do.  
  
Urr ... no comment on the weird free style semi-non-rhyming poem   
that appears at the beginning of this part.   
And the first person who asks if a poem will always open off the   
later part as a "formulae" gets a cyber smack in the face.  
  
mail shi-chan at kichin@doushi.org with any comments! ^o^  
================================================================  
Sneak previews of what's going to happen next:  
  
Fuugen Shinjin pays a fellow sennin a visit.  
Ouji-sama appears ...   
... and promptly gets into an argument with Fuugen.  
Taikoubou's revenge.  
================================================================  
First Edition: September 15th, 2000 at 1:37 PM  
Last Revised: September 17th, 2000 at 8:19 PM  
================================================================  
senseless babble:  
  
once upon a time, while writing this part of the fic, shi got   
into a talk via ICQ with one of the proof-readers, the lovely  
ruby-chan ....  
  
SHI  
It has just occured to Shi that, together, Taikoubou and Fuugen   
would make an invincible lawyer team. And if you add Youzen to   
the equation ... ^_^; ... scary thought.  
  
RUBY  
HEHE lawyers....sheesh..........  
they wouldn't have to worry about $$ for peaches or...err...  
other stuff o.O;;;  
  
SHI  
*nodnod*  
think about it. ^^;  
It would be soooo easy for Fuugen to win sympathy from the   
judges/jury members (& present cases logically/concisely),   
Bou-chan's the strategist & brains of the team, and Youzen can   
turn into ANY evidence they need ....   
  
RUBY  
*falls over* YES that's quite true   
[as half of the jury (male and female) stares at the beautiful   
man in the witness stand, the other half sheds tears at one of   
the defense lawyers...while the other defense lawyer inputs   
commands into their passive brains]  
  
SHI  
*nodnodnod*  
I wonder why no one has thought of it yet ... (fic idea! ^^;;;;)  
  
RUBY  
oooooooh yes! wahahahahaha!!!!  
  
SHI  
You want shi to start? ^^; But then we'd need Hime-sama to do   
the reporting to start it off, and to decide the persecutor's   
side ... etc etc.  
Would be fun if they're defending Dakki or sth. ^O^  
Bunchuu as the persecutor and - and G-sama as the judge!  
*mwahahahah*  
  
RUBY  
HAHA definately!!! hmmmmm....  
  
SHI  
Chou-oh-san can be the poor "victim" ... maybe Dakki set him up   
for insurance money, attempted to kill him or sth. ^_^  
  
RUBY  
yeah that'll do...hehehe....  
but what would susuu and team get outta defending Dakki???? o.O  
  
SHI  
.... urm, they get certain incriminating "tapes" back? ^^;  
(envisions Dakki-sama as co-landlord of one of those high-class   
condos w/ Shinkouhyou & set cameras into every nook & cranny~~~)  
  
RUBY  
*falls over*  
goodness that's a good one (reminds me of the Utena movie...  
"and then the ouji-sama JUMPED OFF THE BUILDING!!!!")  
  
SHI  
*mwahahahhahahahah*  
^_^;  
we're soooo evil it's fun. funny. whatever. ^^;;;;;  
Oi. That means Outenkun would be sth like building security   
manager ... *sweatdrop*  
  
RUBY  
wahahahahaha   
  
.... thus a new fic idea was born.  
================================================================  



	3. iii

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:  
All rights and privileges to Houshin Engi belong to Ryu   
Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters   
from HE are used without permission for the purpose of   
entertainment only. This work of fanfiction is not meant for   
commercial use. No infringements of rights are intended.  
In other words - please don't sue me, I need my   
allowance to buy HE merchandise and make you guys rich!  
  
****************************************************************  
Smiling Tears  
Part III  
By Shioru Sutherlands (aka. Kotoshin)  
****************************************************************  
  
ever since i knew your existence / learning where my heart lay /  
ever since meeting your eyes by chance / i could not look away /  
gentle eyes like violet dreams / light smile more than it seems  
why pull at my very being / awaken my longing / i catch myself   
staring / language is forgotten / watching your leaving / words   
remain unspoken / for the first time / i find myself caring / it   
mattered what you think of me / for the first time / i find   
myself wondering / what to do if you spoke to me / i don't know   
how to return the gaze / of eyes like violet dreams / don't know   
how to look into the face / with a smile more than it seems / i   
can't confess to you my fall / trapped inside my own walls / i'm   
afraid to answer if you call / admit i care at all /   
contradictory feelings / i avoid you ruthlessly / torn between   
pride and need / hypocritcal yearning / to be alone but not   
lonely / i can't stand your distancing / won't give up loving /  
until you answer my longing / until you understand this craving  
in your heart / will be no room for / any other being / only i /  
can be your only  
  
- "one-sided love"  
-- Youzen  
  
================================================================  
EARLY AFTERNOON [1]  
  
The sound of metal striking against metal. Earth-shuddering   
impact, flying debris and the sound of shattering rocks echoed  
in the mountain range of Konron.  
  
"Your form is slipping, Mokutaku!" Wielding one of the two  
Gokouken, Fuugen Shinjin called to his student, who held its  
twin.  
  
Finally, the sennin called a halt in the lesson.  
  
"Now, let's try that one more time." Fuugen smiled. "You're   
doing fine - if you had only one opponent. My attacks are   
becoming predictable to you."  
  
".. *pant* ... hai, shishou!"  
  
"So, how do you tell -" Fuugen launched a surprise strike,   
"- where I'm aiming for?"   
  
".. by watching the eyes!" as sword met sword, Mokutaku yells   
the answer back, countering his teacher's move.  
  
"Very good." The sennin gestured for Mokutaku to drop his guard.   
"That will be enough for today. Mokutaku, you're doing quite   
well."  
  
"Thank you ... *pant* ... shishou." The young doushi beamed at   
the compliment.  
  
"You remembered to rely on your brains, and not your power.  
There are always better ways to resolve any situation than mere   
brute force.  
  
"Starting tomorrow, we will work on the two-swords technique."  
Handing both Gokouken to Mokutaku, Fuugen spoke. "These are   
yours now. I've taught you all I know about using one sword at   
an opponent doing the same."   
  
"Thank you, shishou!" Eyes shining, Mokutaku examined his new  
paopei with obvious excitement and pride.  
  
The sennin could not help but answer the joyful grin.  
  
"Just remember to keep practicing on your own." Fuugen laughed,  
a light-hearted sound. "I'll be checking."  
  
"Hai, shishou." Mokutaku waited for further instructions.  
  
"Let's see - I've spoken with Monjyu-shixiong[2], your elder   
brother's teacher."  
  
/Nii-sama's shishou ...?/  
  
"Both of you are at a stage where actual combat experience is   
required, for you to master the use of your paopei. As of  
tomorrow, you will be practicing with Kintaku in the morning,   
and taking lessons with me in the afternoon. In between you are   
both free to do as you wish. Any questions?"  
  
"Yes, shishou," at Fuugen's nod, Mokutaku continued. "What kind   
of lessons? More swordsmanship lessons, or do we go back to   
physics and in-class lectures?"  
  
"That, would depend on the outcome of the morning matches,   
Mokutaku."  
  
The doushi's eyes looked alarmed. Utilizing paopei in anything  
resembling combat - even mere practice, could easily result in  
extensive destruction. Surely his teacher didn't mean for them to   
spar seriously ...  
  
"Don't worry, Monjyu-shixiong and I will be watching to ensure   
that you two don't accidentally kill each other or cause too   
much property damage, ne?"  
  
"Hai, shishou." Mokutaku swallows. While being brothers, he knew   
that Kintaku didn't pull /his/ punches.  
  
"I will try to make the lessons less taxing on the body should   
you ... hmm ..." Fuugen searched for the words, "... should you   
have less than favorable a performance."  
  
"Umm ... shishou ... what about meals and the rest of the daily   
schedule?" Mokutaku said worriedly.   
  
The doushi's expression reminded Fuugen of a child who just   
learned that his mother was going to be working days. This was   
not too far from the truth, for the relationship between that of   
a sennin-master and the doushi-pupil was akin to a close parent-  
child relationship.  
  
"Leave a note over the stove if I'm not home." Fuugen ruffled  
Mokutaku's long hair affectionately. "I'll do the same - nothing   
has really changed, just that you are given more responsibility   
and freedom."  
  
Mokutaku nodded, too tired to speak. He had a lot to think   
about.  
  
*BLIP*  
  
Fuugen frowned. That was the third time Taikyokufuin had done  
that this afternoon.  
  
"Shishou?"  
  
"Nothing." Perhaps he should get the radar checked by Taiitsu  
Shinjin. It kept on picking up a powerful aura-signature where   
there wasn't ANY.   
  
*clickclickclick*  
  
Strange. Running a scan throughout the system, Fuugen could   
not find any problems. Very strange indeed ...   
  
"......"  
  
The sennin looked thoughtfully in the direction which the   
aura-signature was supposed to exist.  
  
*BLIP*  
  
Nothing.   
  
"No, there is one thing." Fuugen made up his mind. It was not  
the first time this had happened.  
  
"Hai, shishou?"  
  
"Tell your Taikoubou-susuu that I may be late tonight." Fuugen's   
fingers moved over the spherical paopei restlessly. "I must go   
see Taiitsu-shixiong. If either of you feel like eating before I   
can get back - there are buns in the freezer.   
  
"Mixed vegetable & tofu buns, red-bean paste buns, and the   
sesame ones you both like so much."  
  
"Hai, shishou." Mokutaku snickered. "I'll heat them for  
Taikoubou-susuu and make sure he doesn't starve of laziness."  
  
================================================================  
IN THE AIR  
  
He watched them leave, the young doushi and the sennin.  
  
Not until they were out of the range of his vision did he   
slowly came to himself.  
  
The air shimmered, the way it did on a too hot summer's day.   
But there was no such heat at this time of day, no heat such   
that would twist the fabric of the air so - no heat from the   
sun, sporadically hidden by passing clouds.  
  
The air shifted into a perfect body, clean-lined torso and   
graceful limbs. The air changed texture, formed itself into a   
figure clad in deep blue. The air rippled into long strands of   
dark blue hair, condensed into dark amethyst eyes and finely   
chiseled features.  
  
Raking a hand through the hair over his eyes, Youzen sighed.  
  
================================================================  
KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU (an hour later) [3]  
  
"So, the radar is working perfectly?"  
  
"Yup." Taiitsu Shinjin replied, taking off his goggles as he   
reassembled Taikyokufuin. "Nothing's wrong with it. In fact,   
given your skills at improving existing designs, it's working  
better than when Genshintenson-sama first made it."  
  
"... hmmm." Fuugen took the Taikyokufuin back from Taiitsu.  
  
"Say, Fuugen." Taiitsu looked longingly at the paopei in   
Fuugen's hands. "Since you're here, mind letting me map and scan   
the structure of Taikyokufuin? I think I can use that neat   
little trick you've incorporated on this new paopei I'm working   
on ..."  
  
"Yes, may I use one of the terminals here, then?" Fuugen nodded.   
"There's something I'd like to check in Konron's database, and I   
know that you have a direct connection."  
  
"Mmm? Yes, of course." The gleam of infinite possibilities were   
in Taiitsu's eyes as he gleefully took Taikyokufuin back to the   
lab counter.   
  
Fuugen knew that look. A member of the Konron Jyuu Ni Sen[4],   
Taiitsu was well-known in the sennin community for being   
something of an inventor-nut. The sennin probably had not heard   
his words past the 'yes.' And once that look had entered   
Taiitsu's eyes, it meant that an 'idea' had taken root.   
  
"Let's see what we've got here ..." The sennin crooned to the  
paopei much as a mother would to its child.  
  
Fuugen knew that he had better resign himself to being without   
his paopei for the next few days, at least. For Taiitsu would   
literally go for days /and/ nights without sleep nor nourishment   
to perfect such an 'idea.' Presently, the sennin is deaf to   
anything that did not resemble the sound of a paopei.  
  
/Which, of course, frees me to search for information I have no   
right to./  
  
Smiling, Fuugen sat down and began cross-referencing Konron   
personnel files and aura-signatures.  
  
================================================================  
FLASHBACK TIME (about 20 years ago)  
  
This day started unlike any other.  
  
For one thing, none of the sendou were to be found training at  
their various abodes on the mountain range of Konron. In fact,   
not one of them were anywhere near their homes.  
  
The sendou of the mountain range Konron were all assembled at   
Gyokukyo Kyu[5]. There was barely room to stand, the halls were   
that packed. Friends, fellow students, masters with their   
pupils - all gathered in one same place, at the same time.  
  
Why were there so many sendou called here?  
  
This was the question on the minds of everyone present.   
Something big was going to happen, surely. Some momentous   
announcement was about to be made known, for certain.  
  
It was a rare occasion, for so many of Mount Konron's residents  
to be collected together. Friends who have not seen each other   
for decades exchanged greetings, fellow students current news.   
Masters introduced pupils to their peers, proudly enumerating  
their accomplishments, interchanging advice. Doushi and sennin   
who have never met before mingled, learning the faces of those   
only heard of by name.  
  
A cough invoked silence upon the multitude of whispers and   
exchanged suppositions among the sendou.  
  
Genshitenson was here.  
  
Genshitenson-sama, the leader of the sendou of Mount Konron.  
  
He was an imposing figure, the ancient one. So old an Immortal,   
that what remained of his hair was completely white, the bushy   
eyebrows covered the eyes, the long beard almost brushed the  
floor. Dressed in long loose robes, the mere /presence/ of the   
eldest sennin (who had been the Master of many of the sennin   
present) dominated the room.  
  
"I have an important announcement to make." Genshitenson paused,   
drawing out the attention of the sendou. A pause that went on   
for ... more than a little while.  
  
"... ahem, now where was I?"  
  
... it seemed that the eldest one was getting senile.  
  
The sendou present began to wonder if they would be stuck here   
all day waiting for G-sama to remember what he was going to say.  
  
Fortuneately, the Konron Jyuu Ni Sen intervened.  
  
"I'll take over from here." Taiitsu Shinjin jumped up. He   
always did like speaking publicly. "Notes, notes, where are the  
notes?"  
  
"Where is Hakutsuru Douji?" Kouryu Shinjin [6] grumbled. "Isn't   
he supposed to remind G-sama of these things?"  
  
"Yes," Doukoutenson [7] nodded, "Some kind of secretary he   
makes, SHEESH."  
  
"This would NEVER have happened in the military!" Kouseishi [8]  
muttered. "Lack of discipline is not to be tolerated!"  
  
"Well, you're not in the military any more," Sekiseishi [9]  
could never resist an opportunity at needling the other Jyuu Ni   
Sen. "You're in Mount Konron."  
  
"Would you two stop arguing and help us look for those notes?"  
Seikyo Doutoku Shinkun and Jikou Doujin [10] yelled at the two   
bickering Jyuu Ni Sen.  
  
"... I don't see anything." Monjyu Kouhoutenson adjusted his  
dark glasses.  
  
Meanwhile, Genshitenson hemmed and hawwed.  
  
"Young people these days ..." Reibou Daihoushi shook his head.  
  
"Tsk, so impatient." Kuryuuson [11] agreed.  
  
Or maybe not so fortuneately ...   
  
"Wasn't it more along the lines of a memo rather than a note?"  
Gyokutei Shinjin[12] asked.  
  
"Now that you remind me, yes, it was." Taiitsu Shinjin spied the  
small scrap of paper. "GOT IT!"  
  
The collective sendou breathed a sigh of relief. So, they didn't   
have to stand here all day listening to the top sennin in Konron   
argue.  
  
"Give me that, you impertinent student!" Genshitenson thumped  
Taiitsu on the head and snatched the piece of paper.   
  
"Itai-yaaaa~~[13]" Taiitsu Shinjin whimpered, holding his head.  
  
"... harrumph... *cough cough* ..." The leader of Mount Konron  
cleared his throat. "As I was saying, we have been without the  
full complement of Konron Jyuu Ni Sen for over 500 years [14]   
now. So, today we are gathered here for the announcement of   
candidates suitable for the position.  
  
"But before I introduce you all to the candidates I had in mind,   
I would like to hear your suggestions."  
  
Like a rock thrown into a calm pool, this piece of news caused  
ripples of surprised murmurs throughout the gathered sendou,  
especially among the eleven Jyuu Ni Sen.  
  
"Technically speaking, the new Jyuu Ni Sen /should/ be one of   
G-sama's students ..."  
  
"Yes, but he can always adopt the lucky sennin or doushi as  
an honorary student ... so, anyone is possible."  
  
"You mean, if they had the ability, that is."  
  
"What of Ryukitsu Koushuu? Her power is among the strongest of  
the sennin ..."  
  
"No ... you know how delicate her constitution is, she wouldn't  
be able to handle the added responsibility."  
  
"... Unchuushi?"  
  
"Nah. Having one mad scientist among the Jyuu Ni Sen is quite  
enough."  
  
Naturally, the speaker earned a glare from Taiitsu Shinjin.  
  
Those sennin who were not taught by Genshitenson wondered if one   
of them was to be chosen as a pupil and named as the new Jyuu   
Ni Sen. Those sennin with students also wondered if one of   
/their/ students would be chosen for this honor.  
  
It could be anyone - anyone at all - any one sennin who had made   
some sort of accomplishment over the past hundred years, or any  
one exceptional doushi about to attain sennin-status.  
  
One name, came up inevitably.  
  
"... Youzen."  
  
"... the tenzai-doushi[15]?"  
  
"... yes, it should be him."  
  
"... it can't be denied ... among the younger generation he /is/   
the one to watch for ..."  
  
Genshitenson nodded. Youzen was a logical suggestion, but ...  
  
A solitary figure stood. It was a young man with dark, long blue  
hair. Deep purple eyes were calm as he made his way through the   
crowd, holding a three-pronged, spear-like paopei - Sansendou. A   
stray ray of sunlight glinted off the odd blue metal, fractured   
rainbows scattering over the white scarf which hung loosely   
about his shoulders.  
  
A perfect entrance, in other words.  
  
A perfect entrance which nabbed the attention of the sendou  
around him, parting and making way for him as if he were a keen   
blade.  
  
"I have no desire for a place among the Jyuu Ni Sen," walking  
up to Genshitenson, Youzen knelt. "Genshitenson-sama."   
  
His words caused havoc in the masses. Denying the honor? Deny  
the recognition that was his due? What was the tenzai-doushi   
thinking?   
  
Still, some rejoiced, for this meant that they had a chance at  
the honor which Youzen refused.  
  
"... I knew you would say something of the sort," Genshitenson  
replied, "So, while I had considered you as one of the possible  
candidates, you are not one of them.  
  
"Even so, you must speak your reason for doing so. I will not  
explain your actions to the other sendou."  
  
"Genshitenson-sama." Youzen bowed his head. "To become one of   
the Jyuu Ni Sen, one must also become /your/ student. I respect  
your abilities as one of the Three Great Sennin - but -"  
  
"But?"  
  
"My own master, Gyokutei Shinjin, is also one of the Jyuu Ni   
Sen. I revere shishou too much to accept such an honor. I cannot   
and will not take a position which will make myself my master's   
equal. [16]"  
  
"Youzen ..." For some reason, Gyokutei Shinjin looked both   
relieved and worried.  
  
"A valid reason." Genshitenson nodded. "Therefore, I have two  
candidates who are already pupils of mine. Both of them have   
already attained the sennin level of skill ten years ago, but I   
had decided to let them mature some more before making any  
final decision.  
  
"Taikoubou. Fuugen. You may come forward now."  
  
Astonished gasps broke out among the crowd. Doushi who were   
Genshitenson's students? Neither names were particularly   
well-known - with the exception of Taikoubou, an infamous   
scoundrel who often skipped Genshitenson's lectures, as well as  
being the frequent cause of 'incidents' at Mount Konron.  
  
Youzen had to struggle to maintain the appearance of calm. He,   
the tenzai-doushi, was considered to be on a par with such a   
lazy-good-for-nothing-oaf-of-a-doushi?!  
  
Youzen quickly forgot his anger, when his ears caught a   
conversation aside. The content of the dialogue was /much/ too  
interesting to ignore.  
  
"Taikoubou and Fuugen?" Taiitsu's face lit up. "Great, no matter   
which one of them becomes Jyuu Ni Sen, I'll never lack for   
someone to help me with my projects!"  
  
"You know them well, Taiitsu-shitei?" Gyokutei asked, interest   
piqued.   
  
"Yep." Taiitsu chortled gleefully. "They drop by my lab and help   
me out every once in a while."   
  
"Really." Gyokutei was startled by the statement. "I didn't   
know you socialized so much ..."  
  
"You know me." Taiitsu agreed. "I was testing out new paopei,   
and the two of them dropped by to watch. They were such good  
helpers! And they had such informative things to say about   
improving my designs! So, we talked, and kinda had informal  
get-togethers once every couple of months."  
  
"What are they like, these new shitei of ours?"  
  
"Taikoubou is so -" Taiitsu tried to find a way to describe   
their errant shitei. "- intelligent, and open-minded. He has a   
very interesting and unique way of looking at problems and   
helping me think up solutions.   
  
" ... of course, they don't all work - you know how it is with  
these ideas, some do, and some don't - but they are always   
FASCINATING, the points he raises ... Working with the two of   
them has drastically raised my work output, not to mention it   
being less of a chore as well.   
  
"Fuugen's quite organized - you saw my new lab organization the   
other day, right? He did that."  
  
"My." Gyokutei /was/ interested, despite himself. He had very   
little interest in learning how a paopei actually worked, the  
most he ever did being maintenance and upkeep of his Zansenken.   
  
Sounded like their shitei actually knew a few things. Otherwise,   
Taiitsu would have bored them to death long since with all his   
technical talk.   
  
/Which never stops voluntarily, once you get him going ... /  
  
"Also, Fuugen's quite good at the hard sciences, especially  
physics." Taiitsu laughed at that, a little self-conscious.   
"Even though he's not as innovative as I am.   
  
"He has quite a knack for taking apart AND combining existing   
designs in paopei for the most AMAZING results. While he's not   
up to doing anything truly original, his grasp of the   
fundamental theories and incorporating them into practical use   
is nothing less than BRILLIANT."  
  
/... brilliant?/ Youzen had to wonder at that. /Is it even   
possible for someone to be as brilliant as I am?/  
  
"Excuse me, may I come through?" A light tenor voice - a voice  
spoken so softly, it was almost an alto. "Thank you very much."  
  
Youzen turned, to meet a pair of blue-violet eyes - eyes the  
colour of a dream. Defying the laws of gravity, a golden halo   
floated above short, cropped hair the same azure shade as the   
skies. And the smile ...   
  
It was the most perfect smile he had ever seen.  
  
Smiling, Fuugen turned to him, and Youzen quickly looked away.  
  
/... so THAT is Fuugen./ Youzen's vanity woke. /I'm prettier   
than he is./ [17]  
  
A little bewildered at Youzen's aloof coldness, Fuugen brushed  
it aside. He had something to tell Genshitenson-sama.  
  
"... where is Taikoubou?" If Genshitenson's eyebrows were any  
closer, they would have tied themselves together in knots.  
  
"Genshitenson-sama," Fuugen bowed, executing the required bow   
expected of pupil to master flawlessly. "Bou-chan isn't here."  
  
"..... WHAT?"  
  
Fuugen hurried closer, so that the other sendou would not hear  
what he said.   
  
/Bou-chan .../  
  
It would be near impossible to placate the rising temper of   
his teacher this time. After Genshitenson found out what   
Bou-chan did ...  
  
"(This is what I was trying to speak to you about before you   
called everyone here, Genshitenson-sama.)"  
  
"(... what is it? And WHERE is Taikoubou?)"  
  
"(I do not know, Genshi-shishou.)" Fuugen took out a sealed   
envelope and handed it to Genshitenson. "(He said to give you  
this as soon as I can speak with you.)"  
  
Genshitenson took the envelope and read.  
  
Several minutes later, an angry bellow shook the entire mountain  
range.  
  
"TAIKOUBOU~!!!"  
  
=====================================  
FLASHBACK STILL (elsewhere in Ninkai) [18]  
  
"ACHOO~!"  
  
Was it his imagination, or did he just hear Genshi-ol'man scream  
his name?  
  
"Are you alright, Taikoubou-susuu?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, Hakutsuru." Dangling from a rope held from the  
white crane's claws, Taikoubou rubbed his nose. "Just keep on  
flying."  
  
"Susuu, are you /sure/ we have the whole day off because there  
are no classes?" Hakutsuru Douji was beginning to regret   
agreeing to 'show Taikoubou-susuu around the Ningenkai.'  
  
"Yes, I'm SURE there are no classes today." Taikoubou squelched  
a snicker. By now Fuugen should have given his note to the old  
man already. Too bad he couldn't be there to see the look on his  
face!  
  
/Hah. Me? One of the Jyuu Ni Sen? In your dreams, buddy./  
  
"... but ... susuu ... sneaking out of the Senninkai like this  
without permission ... we'd both be punished ..."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Taikoubou jerked the rope, causing  
Hakutsuru to squawk. "We shook hands on this! You can't go back  
on your word. I give you three sentou[19], and you take me   
around the Ningenkai. Remember?"  
  
"Yes ... *pant* ... but ... (susuu, you're /heavy/) ... "   
Hakutsuru is regretting he ever agreed to the measly price of   
three sentou. "I'm getting awfully tired."   
  
"A bargain's a bargain, so move yer butt!"  
  
Taikoubou had no intention of showing off what he'd learned like  
some sort of performing animal - for a chance at one of the most  
prestigious positions in the Senninkai.  
  
/... now, if it was for a hundred or three sentou .../  
  
=====================================  
FLASHBACK STILL (back at Koronsan)   
  
The Jyuu Ni Sen stared at the piece of paper which had sent   
their beloved master into a fit of apoplexy.  
  
//Yo, Genshi-kusojiji [20]  
  
Ain't no class today, right?  
Well, see here, I knew about this announcement you're  
calling everyone in for - but count me out.  
I ain't got no intention of showing off like some sort   
of dancing monkey on a chain - just for the sake of   
some stupid title.  
Besides, given the headaches I've caused you lately -  
I don't think I EVER want to be a sennin. [21]  
So, I'll be off enjoying this beautiful day down  
in the Ningenkai. Don't bother yelling for me, cuz it's  
just gonna make you look dumb in front of everyone.  
Anything else ... nope, I think that's it. Cya~  
  
your beluvved pupill,  
Taikoubou  
  
P.S. I took Hakutsuru with me. He needs to get out more and  
not stuck around a dried-up old geezer like youall day. //  
  
"........" None of the Jyuu Ni Sen knew what to say.   
  
Doutoku Shinjin and Gyokutei Shinjin exchanged glances. It   
seemed that their most troublesome shitei was utterly without  
ambition.  
  
"... he has a strange way of expressing himself." Gyokutei   
said, finally.  
  
"... I have to agree." Doutoku hoped that this would not cause  
a wave of copycat behaviour among /his/ students.  
  
"... how could he write like this?!" Kouseishi exploded.  
  
"Yes, Bou-chan does need to improve his spelling and grammar."  
Fuugen seemed to have misinterpreted the question.  
  
"He even forgot to use the proper form when addressing a letter  
to one's teacher." Monjyu Kouboutenson agreed. "Fuugen-shitei,  
I don't suppose you'll tutor him?"  
  
"I'll do my best, Monjyu-shixiong."  
  
Taiitsu Shinjin's face was red, for he had found both the note   
and the comments to be very funny. But to remain in the state   
of health he enjoyed, he found it prudent to remain silent.  
  
Briefly, the other Jyuu Ni Sen wondered if insanity ran in the  
sennin kou [22].   
  
/Even if he doesn't WANT the position - / Youzen seethed, angry  
again. /How could he have WRITTEN such a thing? The utter   
disregard of respect to one's elders .../  
  
"This is all beside the point." Genshitenson had recovered his  
composure. "We will proceed. I had intended for Taikoubou and  
Fuugen to to prove themselves worthy of a position among the   
Jyuu Ni Sen, before choosing one of them."  
  
The ancient one was furious. He had given Taikoubou a chance to   
prove that he was not the slacker every other sendou thought he  
was - and that little idiot - UGGH.  
  
"Instead, Fuugen, I hereby name you as the candidate to the last  
spot among the Jyu Ni Sen." Genshitenson took out a pair of twin  
swords.   
  
"These are the paopei Gokouken."  
  
Identical twin swords, identical in every way.  
  
"Youzen."  
  
"Hai?" Catching hold of one Gokuken, Youzen's eyes followed the   
metallic arc of the other to Fuugen's hand.  
  
"As we all know that your skills in paopei-combat are at least   
the equal of your teacher, you will have a single match with   
your Fuugen-susuu."  
  
/Fuugen./ Why did he hesitate? The doushi was nothing to him.   
And why did he not feel glad that his ability was judged the   
equal of the Jyuu Ni Sen?  
  
"Genshitenson-sama, I must decline."  
  
Youzen's head snapped up, and he gave the speaker a hard look.  
  
"No matter who wins, such a victory is meaningless." The   
expression in blue-violet eyes were sober. "I abhor senseless   
violence and destruction.  
  
"With your permission, I would prefer a more ... constructive   
way to demonstrate my skills."  
  
"What do you suggest, then?"  
  
Fuugen laid the one Gokouken he held at Genshitenson's feet.  
Bring both hands up, there was abruptly a large, glowing sphere   
between them.  
  
Taikyokufuin.  
  
"Once attaining sennin rank, one no longer lives with one's   
teacher, but in a residence of one's own choosing." Fuugen  
smiled. "Genshitenson-sama, if you will allow me, I would like  
to reshape the natural cave system at Kokyusan into a habitable  
residence."  
  
=====================================  
FLASHBACK STILL (30 minutes later)   
  
Taiitsu Shinjin had just finished setting up the projector  
display.   
  
"Oi. Fuugen!" Speaking into the microphone on his end, he   
hollered. "You there at the other end?"  
  
"Hai, shixiong." Fuugen's voice carried calm even over the   
speaker. "Fuugen here. At Kokyusan Hakkushiru Dou."  
  
"Okay. Turn the vid on and link it to Taikyokufuin." Taiitsu   
instructed. "I'm going to do it so that everyone here can see   
exactly what you're doing."  
  
"Hai." There was the screech of static and several jumping  
bursts of white sound as Fuugen adjusted the connection. "Here   
is what Taikyokufuin's radar have mapped out of Hakkushiru Dou."  
  
A 3-D map flashed into life across the screen, rotating about,  
showing the various levels and views from all possible angles.   
To the uninformed, the data streaming past the left side of the   
screen meant nothing.  
  
/He needs a lot of work to make that place even remotely   
close to 'habitable.'/ Youzen thought.  
  
While situated at an ideal location, with the main cave entrance   
facing the south - the limestone cave was not very stable in   
structure.   
  
There were weaknesses in the stone, several passages in severe   
danger of collapsing. It was also wet and damp, seeping water   
everywhere. Stalactites and stalagmites formed the ceiling   
and floor of many caves. Though beautiful to look at, the rock   
formations did not make for comfortable prospects.  
  
"I'm ready, and your camera-bot is inside, Taiitsu-shixiong."   
A flash, and Fuugen smiled from the screen. "May I begin?"  
  
"Go ahead." The screen divided to three frames, one showing  
Fuugen with Taikyokufuin, one showing the interior of the cave,  
and one showing Taikyokufuin's map of the cave structure.  
  
/Nothing is happening .../   
  
A twist in a contour line on the third screen, followed by a low   
booming sound.   
  
/How is he doing this? There's no way he has that much power  
to move the earth!/  
  
Youzen's eyes widened as the entire map of the cave begin to  
shift.  
  
/... this is not possible!/  
  
Fuugen was not a powerful sennin, that he was sure of. There  
was nothing about the sennin that indicated such 'strength.'   
  
/... how is he ...? ... !!! ... I see. I see what he is doing./  
  
It was a solution that Youzen would not have thought of,   
precisely /because/ the tenzai-doushi had the power to simply  
blast the rock to the smooth surfaces Fuugen strived for.  
  
/... he is manipulating the water, seeping through the stone!/  
  
Increasing the friction, the speed - the processes that SHOULD   
have taken centuries - using the water INHERENTLY seeping   
through the limestone as his tool.   
  
Shaping the stone to his will ... melding weaknesses together   
... an ingenious solution.   
  
Genshitenson nodded, pleased.   
  
His creation, the Taikyokufuin, was a paopei that could   
manipulate matter at the elemental level, breaking chemical   
bonds or feeding energy into the molecules ...   
  
True, it would have been MORE impressive, visually, if the   
sennin has simply chosen to recombine the molecules which made   
up the stone. But such a show would have been a complete waste   
of energy, which could be better used elsewhere.  
  
/He would NEVER have been able to feed the Taikyokufuin enough  
power, if he had chosen the way of force to accomplish his   
objective./  
  
"Fuugen, that is SUCH an efficient way to do things!" Taiitsu  
could not conceal his admiration. "Mind redecorating my   
residence next time?"  
  
"... if you wish, shixiong." Fuugen's voice was slightly   
strained from the distraction of answering.  
  
The other Jyuu Ni Sen were nodding, also impressed. They all   
knew that appearances could be deceiving - after a certain   
amount of learning, the difference between sennin and doushi   
were only in the matter of skill. Skill, and how they used their  
powers.   
  
For example, flashy paopei attacks were often not as powerful as   
it looked, much of the energy channeled into the showy   
'appearance' of the attack.   
  
It was the results, and not the packaging, which impressed them.  
  
/Amazing ... he could not do it by his strength alone, so he  
borrowed the strength of the water./   
  
Fuugen made the work look easy, when it was anything but. To be   
able to maintain such a level of concentration required the   
strictest discipline and control.   
  
/He is very resourceful .../  
  
And yet, Fuugen not only sustained and directed the Taikyokufuin  
as if it was as simple as breathing, it LOOKED as simple as   
breathing.   
  
/... and he knows exactly what he is doing .../  
  
Watching, Youzen noted how Fuugen cleverly used accumulated   
pressure, caused by the water movement, at one end of the   
system. Entire shelves of stone shifted, fitted into place as   
perfectly as two interlocking puzzle pieces.  
  
/... because he did not have enough power, he found ways to   
achieve the same results with LESS power./  
  
There was nothing rushed, nothing /unplanned/ about the entire  
execution - the whole was carefully thought out, move by move.  
Even considering the fact that Fuugen probably /had/ planned and  
practiced beforehand, it was still an incredible piece of work.  
  
/Such finesse. Such elegance. Such ... proficiency in skill./  
  
The energies from the Taikyokufuin was everywhere in the system,  
a relentless, prevalent force. Strands of power woven into webs,  
a delicate balance that Youzen had to admit that /he/ would be  
pressed to maintain.  
  
/... could I have done that, were I in his place?/  
  
Instabilities vanished, one by one.   
  
Perfection.  
  
A masterpiece.  
  
Absolutely brilliant.  
  
/... would I have even THOUGHT of such a solution?/  
  
Youzen could only stand and watch.  
  
When Fuugen returned, exhausted, blue locks of hair damp with   
sweat, smiling triumphantly ...   
  
"I, Genshitenson, grant you the right to use the title of   
'Shinjin'. Hereafter, you will be known as 'Fuugen Shinjin' and   
one of the ..."  
  
Youzen slipped away, unnoticed as the other sendou congratulated  
the newest member of the Konron Jyuu Ni Sen.  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUIZUMISAN, KINKASUMI DOU [23]  
  
"Gyokutei-shixiong." Fuugen smiled up at the older sennin.  
  
"Fuugen-shitei!" Gyokutei Shinjin looked surprised to see him.   
"It's been a while. What wind brings you here?"  
  
"I ... " Fuugen hesitated. "I would like to speak with Youzen."  
  
"...." Gyokutei did not speak, for a long moment. "I don't know  
if that would be a good idea."  
  
"I know. He ... doesn't like me."  
  
"No, that's not quite the problem ... " Gyokutei's voice   
trailed off.   
  
Undecipherable, a mixture of emotions flickered across the   
sennin's face. Doubt and worry, concern and ... fear?  
  
/... what is he afraid of?/  
  
Fuugen wondered at that last emotion the most.   
  
/... WHO is he afraid for?/  
  
Finally, Gyokutei appeared to have come to some sort of  
decision.  
  
"As long as you're here, won't you come in for a pot of tea?"  
  
"I would be happy to." Fuugen smiled.  
  
=====================================  
OVER TEA (15 minutes later)   
  
"So ... it's starting ... " Gyokutei looked thoughtful. He   
really shouldn't have been surprised, with the edginess and   
rumours flying about the sennin community. Some of them were   
worse than gossiping old ladies.  
  
"Yes, I saw Taiitsu-shixiong today." Fuugen sipped slowly at   
his mug of tea. "He mentioned that he would activate the Houshin  
Dai tomorrow."  
  
"Is this why you dropped by?" Given Youzen's power, the tenzai-  
doushi would definitely be on the front lines for such a major  
undertaking. Even though Gyokutei knew this was inevitable ...  
he worried, as any parent would, sending a son into draft.  
  
"Yes. I thought it only fair to give you a warning ..."  
  
"Shishou, I'm home -"   
  
Deep amethyst eyes widened, as Youzen took in the unexpected   
guest and his teacher. The smile that the doushi wore on his  
face faded away into impassivity.   
  
"I'm going out." Stone-faced, Youzen immediately reversed his   
course.  
  
"Youzen!" Gyokutei stood up, to call back his pupil, but Youzen  
had already left. "... that child ... "  
  
"... it's alright, Gyokutei-shixiong." Fuugen finished his tea.  
"But this can't continue. It is not good to have dissension   
among our own ranks. Do you have any idea why he would dislike   
me so?"  
  
"No." Startled, Gyokutei almost spilled his tea. "I don't know   
why he avoids you so ..."   
  
Gyokutei Shinjin had a vague guess, but ...   
  
/... Youzen./  
  
Youzen was like his own son, the son that he never had a chance   
to hold. The son who died, a long time ago.   
  
/... Kanume .../  
  
She had been mortal, and had given him a mortal son. It had been  
a long time ago ...   
  
... a long time ago, before he even knew the existence of Mount  
Konron and became one of the sennin.  
  
"I'll have a talk with him about his lack of manners." Gyokutei  
shook the memories aside. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It isn't your fault, Gyokutei-shixiong." Fuugen set his mug   
down. "I think it would be better ... if I spoke with Youzen   
privately. Do you know where he might be, now?"  
  
"It might be better, at that." Gyokutei nodded. "There's a copse  
of baika [24] out back ... he likes the solitude there."  
  
"Thank you, Gyokutei-shixiong."  
  
"Don't break his heart, Fuugen." Gyokutei did not look at him.  
  
Fuugen blinked.  
  
"... don't worry, I won't."  
  
/I do not know about Youzen himself, however./  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUIZUMISAN, UMEISEKKAI [25]  
  
It was getting late.  
  
The moon had risen, a blood-red sliver of finger-nail scratching   
the sky.  
  
"Youzen-kun." Fuugen found the doushi easily among the bare   
baika trunks.   
  
The wind was a bit cold, the sennin thought.  
  
Hand holding one shoulder to lend fleeting warmth, Fuugen could   
feel the pang of loneliness that emanated from Youzen.  
  
"What are you doing here?" the voice was unfriendly.  
  
"Why do you avoid me?"  
  
"I do not." As Fuugen seemed to be in hurry to leave, Youzen  
gritted his teeth. "I don't like you, that's all."  
  
"I am sorry to hear that, Youzen-kun." Fuugen walked around the  
blue-clad figure, so that they were face to face. "Have I   
offended you in some way? If I have, I am sorry. I would like  
to be friends."  
  
/Friends?/ Youzen's heart contracted, a bitter, acute pain. /Is   
that what he thinks of me? Only as a 'friend?'/  
  
Now that the sennin finally sought him out - he wanted more than  
that. Dear Kami, he was a selfish creature. He wanted Fuugen to  
come to him, and at the same time he did not. He didn't know  
what he wanted.   
  
He had to get away.  
  
"Is that all?" He moved to the right, to walk past Fuugen.  
  
Anticipating such a move, Fuugen moved with Youzen, blocking his  
way.  
  
"No, Youzen-kun." Smiling serenely, the blue-violet eyes seemed  
to stare straight through him. "Why won't you look at me?"  
  
/Why? How can you ask such a question?/  
  
Because he was afraid to. Afraid to look, afraid to admit what  
he felt by looking. Afraid of what he would do, would say - if  
he only dared to look back.  
  
"Youzen-kun ..." Fuugen's eyes were gentle. "... it is not good  
to keep everything to yourself. Why won't you talk to me?"  
  
There was no warning.  
  
Not a sign, not a sound.  
  
"You - ?!" Fuugen was forced down to the ground, the weight of   
the tenzai-doushi crushing him.  
  
The twisted, violent emotions - tangled like a snake swallowing   
itself by the tail - was so tangible that it struck Fuugen like  
an electrical shock.  
  
/I would like to speak with Youzen./  
  
There was only the hoarse sound of heavy breathing in the air.  
  
"I like you. I think I even love you. I've wanted to tell you  
so many times but I couldn't."  
  
//Don't break his heart, Fuugen.//  
  
So ... Gyokutei-shixiong was right. Fuugen closed his eyes.   
  
"I ... could only watch you. I ... " Youzen laughed, a bitter  
sound that jarred the ear. "I was afraid! I was afraid to even   
talk to you. Do you have any idea - any idea at all how much   
your opinion meant to me? How much YOU meant to me?"  
  
"Youzen-kun ..." It was hard, to not respond to the need in  
the needy purple eyes. Fuugen took ahold of a strand of dark  
blue hair. "... this isn't love."  
  
"Then tell me what it is." Purple eyes, wildly passionate. "Tell  
me!"  
  
"... it is only infatuation, Youzen-kun."  
  
"I'm well aware of the difference between love and infatuation,  
Fuugen Shinjin."  
  
The grip on his shoulders tightened.  
  
"Youzen-kun ..." Those eyes - blue-violet eyes - did not waver.   
"Prove it to my satisfaction, then."  
  
Deep pools of amethyst locked with blue-violet dreams.  
  
"... very well."  
  
"...!"  
  
Pinning the sennin securely, Youzen bent, and pressed his lips  
to Fuugen's.  
  
================================================================  
~tbc~  
================================================================  
[1] Same day Taikoubou is entrusted with the Houshin Project.  
And since Fuugen woke up after only half an hour,   
Taikoubou made it to his meditation rock on time.  
[2] Short for Monjyu Kouhoutenson (sheesh, what a mouthful ...),  
who is also a member of the Jyuu Ni Sen.  
[3] Translating roughly to Kengen Peak's Gold-Light-Cave, it is   
the residence of Taiitsu Shinjin, one of the Konron   
Jyuu Ni Sen (the Twelve Konron Immortals), and Mount   
Konron's resident paopei inventor/scientist. He is quite  
good friends with Taikoubou & Fuugen.  
[4] See APPENDIX II.  
[5] The palace which Genshitenson-sama, the leader of the sendou   
at Mt. Koron, lives.  
[6] Hakutsuru Douji is a youkai sennin affiliated with the  
Konron Sendou. He acts as an aide to Genshitenson-sama  
and is also good friends with Taikoubou, whom he calls  
susuu (which means his master should be one of G-sama's  
students ... we just don't ever get told who.)  
Kouryu Shinjin is one of the Jyuu Ni Sen. He seems to   
know Doukoutenson pretty well ...   
[7] Doukoutenson is also a member of the Jyuu Ni Sen. He looks  
like a little kid with a rat tail AND has MPD ... ^^;;;   
He's also the master of the doushi I Go.  
[8] Kouseishi, one of the Jyuu Ni Sen. He is quite the military  
man and trains his pupils accordingly. He later becomes  
the master of In Kou, the elder son of Chou Ou.   
[9] Sekiseishi, one of the Jyuu Ni Sen. Likes to contradict  
what Kouseishi says ... one can't help but get the   
feeling there's some sort of rivalry going on between  
those two. He later becomes the master of In Kou, the   
younger son of Chou Ou. (And yes, the two brothers have  
names that sounds/spells the same in english, but is  
very different when written in kanji.)  
[10] Seikyo Doutoku Shinkun and Jikou Doujin are both Jyuu Ni   
Sen, of course. They're both pretty 'athletic' sennin  
types. Seikyo Doutoku Shinkun is Kou Tenka's master.  
[11] Reibou Daiboushi and Kuryuuson are both Jyuu Ni Sen whose  
hair are as white as G-sama's, and look as old - the   
only difference being that they have shorter beards.  
Kuryuuson is the master of the doushi Dokouson.  
[12] Gyokutei Shinjin, the last of the 12. What? You say there's  
something wrong with shi's math? Well, yes, there are  
only eleven listed so far, but ...  
[13] The Japanese equivalent of 'ouch,' with an Osaka slang   
accent. (most sincere thanks to nyan for helping shi with   
a LOT of the Japanese grammar and romanization of people,  
places, and names. Without her, this fic would make less   
sense than it did.)  
[14] Ever since Nentou Doujin, the ex-leader of the Jyuu Ni Sen,  
'vanished' 520 years ago. (time relative to flashback)  
[15] tenzai-doushi = "genius-doushi"  
[16] Most people in the western world wouldn't get this, but a  
master-pupil relationship is taken VERY seriously in  
the Orient. To take an apprentice is to accept the   
person as if s/he were a child of your own flesh.   
Likewise, to take a master is the same as accepting him/  
her as your own parent. It's a serious breach of the   
social/moral structure to renounce such a relationship   
in any way. Personal feelings aside, hence Youzen is   
unwilling to abandon his position as Gyokutei Shinjin's   
"son" to being his "brother" or peer.  
[17] ... ouji-sama ... shi thinks you need an ego readjustment.  
[18] Remember the time Taikoubou slipped out to the Ninkai and  
saw Ki Shou for the first time? Manga volume 6, chapter   
49. ^_^  
[19] sentou = Senninkai peaches, can turn water into wine when  
dissolved in water  
[20] jiji = old man (disrespectful), old geezer.   
kusojiji = old fart; even worse than jiji (disrespectful)  
[21] One of the requirements to be officially sennin in rank is   
to take on at least one doushi as one's pupil.   
[22] sennin kou = sennin bones, the 'potential' to become sennin  
[23] Translating roughly to Jade-Spring Peak's Gold-Cloudshine-  
Cave, it is the residence of Gyokutei Shinjin and his   
pupil, the tenzai-doushi Youzen.  
[24] baika = Plum flowers. They're a subspecies that are only   
found in the Orient, blooming ONLY in winter. Shi likes   
the name of meihua (chinese) or baika better than "plum".   
And yes, they're trees.  
[25] umesekkai = baika-snow-sea. A poetic name, ne?  
================================================================  
Shin no Freetalk:  
  
MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.  
  
^O^ Another cliff-hanger.  
How do people like shi's take of Fuugen as computer-hacker +   
civil engineer?  
And ... this part IS longer than part 2. (ACCKT. they're growing  
on Shi!) part 1 was only 18K, part 2 jumped to 33K, and THIS  
part is 47K. _   
Overdid shi's writing bit AGAIN, so susuu's revenge will hafta   
be pushed to the next part.   
GOMEN NASAI~~~  
  
The Jyuu Ni Sen were fun to write, and very surprisingly, a lot  
of them are MORE cooperative than shi's fav. three ...  
  
Esp. Gyokutei-shishou. Shi always thought him the fatherly   
type ... maybe shi'd put his story with Kanume as a side story,  
if shi ever gets around to it.   
Yes, this version of Gyokutei Shinjin's past IS made up by shi,   
but it does justify/explain the aspects of the Gyokutei-Youzen   
relationship shi had in mind.   
As you can probably tell from this, shi is not a fan of student-  
teacher romances, mostly because it is a little too much like   
incest, and that it is VERY easy for the teacher to abuse   
his/her position of trust and take advantage of the student's   
eagerness to please and willingness to learn.  
Shi ONLY likes those teacher-student romances where the student  
has matured to the point where he/she is the teacher's equal,  
and it's between consenting adults who KNOW what they are doing.  
... Yes, which is why Kin-Yuan's Little Dragon Lady & Yon-go  
are a faovrite couple of shi's ...  
  
Okay, back to the story.  
  
Ouji-sama is happy. Sorta.   
He got to kiss Fuugen. ^_^;  
And he got good appearances ... the brat.  
  
H?   
What H?   
This is a PG production! H will only be implied!   
*ehehehehheheh*  
  
mail shi-chan at kichin@doushi.org with any comments! ^o^  
================================================================  
Sneak previews of what's going to happen next:  
  
Youzen is surprised.  
susuu's revenge ...  
... hot icy sweetness.   
================================================================  
First Edition: September 23th, 2000 at 3:26 PM  
Last Revised: September 24th, 2000 at 9:07 PM  
================================================================  
APPENDIX II - The Konron Jyuu Ni Sen:  
  
The Konron Jyuu Ni Sen, or the "Twelve Immortals of Konron,"  
are all students of Genshitenson who have distinguished  
themselves in some way since graduating from doushi to   
sennin. Their status as sennin in Mount Konron is second   
only to Geshitenson-sama.  
  
1. Gyokutei Shinjin  
2. Taiitsu Shinjin  
3. Fuugen Shinjin  
4. Monjyu Kouhoutenson  
5. Kuryuuson  
6. Doukoutenson  
7. Kouseishi  
8. Sekiseishi  
9. Seikyo Doutoku Shinkun  
10. Jikou Doujin  
11. Kouryuu Shinjin  
12. Reibou Daihoushi  
  
The above is a listing of the Jyuu Ni Sen at the beginning of   
the Houshi Keikaku.  
  
aside: Fuugen Shinjin fills the spot of the original leader of  
the Jyuu Ni Sen, Nentou Doujin. Nentou is Ryukitsu   
Koushyu's younger half-brother. The two of them had   
different mothers. Nentou supposedly 'vanished' about   
540 years ago (time relative to the 'present' in this   
part of "smiling tears").  
================================================================ 


	4. iv

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All rights and privileges to Houshin Engi belong to Ryu   
Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters   
from HE are used without permission for the purpose of   
entertainment only. This work of fanfiction is not meant for   
commercial use. No infringements of rights are intended.  
In other words - please don't sue me, I need my   
allowance to buy HE merchandise and make you guys rich!  
  
****************************************************************  
Smiling Tears  
Part IV  
By Shioru Sutherlands (aka. Kotoshin)  
****************************************************************  
  
i don't want to understand you don't want to understand  
i'm afraid to comprehend you're afraid to comprehend  
how you have got me possessed won't admit you were impressed  
that i'm truly obsessed or that i had you outguessed  
  
if i strip away the lies if you strip away the lies  
will i find truth in your eyes will you live without disguise  
if i put aside my mask if you set aside your mask  
will you answer what i ask you will answer what you ask  
  
what does he have that i have not you won't heed the words i say  
what do i lack that he has got if i speak the truth today  
simply cannot let it lie you refuse to recognize  
need to know the reason why the self hidden in your eyes  
  
impossible to let you know impossible to let you know  
my facade from head to toe what comes easy also goes  
the stark truth of heart and soul only if the price is met  
secret of myself as a whole are found truths one can't forget  
  
from you i've nowhere to hide from you i've nowhere to hide  
still i can't forget my pride awakening memories inside  
if i pretend i am fine you and i like parallel lines  
would you come past the last line somehow crossed and intertwined  
  
- "Parallel Lines"  
-- Youzen - Fuugen Shinjin  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUIZUMISAN, UMEISEKKAI (early evening)  
  
Under a bloody crescent, the faint outline of two fallen figures   
were shadowed under the silhouettes of barren baika tress.  
  
Youzen could see himself reflected in blue-violet eyes. Gazing  
at his own reflection, he wondered if he seemed as uncertain to   
their owner.  
  
Pinning the sennin securely, Youzen bent, and pressed his lips  
to Fuugen's.  
  
He expected a struggle. He expected Fuugen to tense with shock   
or even ... disgust. He expected Fuugen to push him away, to   
fight him, to attempt escape.  
  
Youzen was ready for any of those things.  
  
If the sennin had struggled, he would have held firm. He would   
have held on even if the body beneath rejected him with frigid   
silence. If the sennin had tried to resist, he would have ...   
  
...he would not have stopped what he was doing.  
  
But Fuugen did none of those things.  
  
Arms slipped upwards, wound slowly about his neck, bringing him  
closer. The body beneath his was pliant, even willing. Lips   
touched his, and while he was content to simply let the moment  
stay, frozen, Fuugen was not.  
  
Fuugen kissed him back.  
  
Lips touched his, and parted. Surprised, Youzen opened his mouth   
to speak, only to feel the intrusion of tongue and warm breath.  
  
"... fu - Fuugen Shinjin?!" So, it was Youzen who drew back.  
  
Youzen, who pulled away as if he had been burnt.  
  
Fuugen was smiling.  
  
A smile that was different from the gentle smile Youzen was   
accustomed to seeing. There was something savage, almost wanton   
in the laughing expression.  
  
"I am sorry to have frightened you, Youzen-kun." Fuugen sat up,  
smiling, one hand smoothing back tousled locks of sky-blue hair.   
"Was that your first kiss?"  
  
He stared in disbelief as the sennin stood, calmly picking off  
stray blades of grass that clung to white pants.   
  
This was not the Fuugen Shinjin he knew.  
  
Youzen backed away, only to find himself up against a tree   
trunk. As if sensing his confusion, Fuugen stalked over, resting   
hands against the sides of his head. Swallowing, he tried to   
think.  
  
"Do I frighten you, Youzen-kun?" The voice was a husky purr  
beside his ear. "No, don't answer that."  
  
Panicked, purple eyes could only return the predatory look that  
was to be found in blue-violet eyes.  
  
"Youzen-kun ... " A fiery burn on his neck, as Fuugen put his  
mouth there, nipping hungrily. "Aren't you going to stop me?"  
  
/Wasn't this what I wanted?/  
  
Yes, it was.  
  
Pearly teeth caught hold of the zipper at his throat, and   
tugged down, slowly.  
  
It was what he wanted. To be wanted, to be loved by this person.  
  
Searing sensation, making him tremble as the sennin kissed his   
exposed skin.  
  
/Don't I WANT this?/  
  
Youzen didn't understand himself at all.   
  
/... why don't I want this?/  
  
"Stop ... " He heard himself say. "... please ..."   
  
He was freed.  
  
"... Fu... Fuugen ...?" With his back pressed against the rough   
bark, Youzen panted heavily.  
  
Why? He wanted to ask. Why did you stop?  
  
"Youzen-kun," Fuugen Shinjin stood in a broken patch of   
moonlight, back turned. "You are not the only person who wears   
a mask."  
  
Those words shook him to the core.   
  
"Youzen-kun." The sennin turned, the familiar, sweetly angelic   
smile on his face. "See you tomorrow."  
  
... how had Fuugen known?  
  
"You know where I live, Youzen-kun."  
  
================================================================  
IN THE NIGHT  
  
He couldn't.   
  
He couldn't stay. He couldn't stay and face those eyes. He   
couldn't stay and face those eyes that were his. His eyes.   
  
HIS OWN EYES. His own eyes, staring back at him from the past.  
His past, a distant past too close.  
  
The lies. The lies in those eyes. The lies that those eyes   
refused to see. Self-deception, self-delusion - no matter what   
the name, lies were lies.  
  
"If it was you, you might have been able to prevent this."  
  
Emerald eyes, laughing, merry emerald eyes. Emerald eyes, golden   
hair and golden laughter. So like and so unlike from another  
pair of emerald-green eyes.  
  
"If it was you, you would have prevented this ..."  
  
A pair of emerald eyes, the most important person to him.   
  
"... wouldn't you?"  
  
She, too, had been the most important person to him. She had   
saved his life, twice. She had destroyed his life once.  
  
"... if you had the power to prevent this ..."  
  
She was dead.  
  
"... wouldn't you?"  
  
Fuugen did not weep.  
  
"You will regret."  
  
Emerald eyes, all warmth fled - leaving only the cold glitter of  
gems behind.  
  
"Why?" He already knew the answer to his question.  
  
"... because I will not forgive."  
  
The hatred in those emerald eyes had nearly destroyed him, even  
as it saved his life. Unwilling to believe, he had locked   
himself away into a lie that never happened.  
  
//My name is Fuugen. My parents sent me up here when the sennin  
told them I was to come to Konronsan. What's your name?//  
  
A pair of emerald eyes, with the same vivid intensity, the same  
fire. A pair of emerald eyes that held the same pain.  
  
//... Taikoubou.//  
  
//I think I'll call you Bou-chan, ne?//  
  
//... hey! Who gave you permission to call me that?//  
  
"You don't like it, Bou-chan?" He had smiled, teasing.  
  
//NO.//  
  
//Don't be shy, Bou-chan. Here.//  
  
//What's this?//  
  
A pair of gloves, warm and thick, suitable for the coming cold  
weather.  
  
//Don't you like it? My mother made it for me. She told me she  
will make me another pair the next time I go visit her. You can  
keep this pair, Bou-chan.//  
  
It was a lie. His parents were dead, his village razed to the  
ground. He pretended that they were still there, that it had  
never happened.  
  
Bou-chan had been very angry when he found out.  
  
//*SLAP*//  
  
He had one hand pressed to his cheek, disbelieving.   
  
//... Bou-chan?//  
  
The emerald eyes burned, quivering in anger.  
  
//Are you going to live a lie forever?  
Are you going to pretend it never happened?  
I know that it hurts. I know that it hurts to remember.  
I have lost my family, my people, too.  
I know that I'm not you, and I don't know the pain you feel.  
But - if you don't accept the truth -  
You will never be able to keep it from happening again!//  
  
No. It will not happen again. It will NEVER happen again.  
  
//Will you help me do this?//  
  
And it was those emerald eyes that made him see the truth.  
Emerald eyes, which forced him to see himself for the coward he  
was. Emerald eyes which accepted him, emerald eyes ...  
  
//It's a deal.//  
  
... emerald eyes that allowed him look at his reflection, his  
truth, without flinching.  
  
"I am who I am."  
  
Fuugen knew very well what kind of a bastard he really was. He  
knew he was a smiling, manipulative bastard.   
  
"Bou-chan ..." He smiled.  
  
The person he would do anything to protect. The person he would   
lie to, lie for. The person he would kill for, die for. The   
person he chose to live for.   
  
"... will you prevent this from happening again?"  
  
Emerald eyes, tainted by an emotion he would never allow the   
pair he treasured to hold.  
  
For his emerald eyes contained a dream so wide, so encompassing,   
that it held his own dream as a single grain of sand.  
  
"I am waiting for your answer, Ei Shuu." [1]  
  
"I don't have the answer," he told the eyes - emerald eyes -   
looking at him from a distant memory.   
  
"... but I know who does."  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
"Fuugen, WHERE have you been?" Taikoubou demanded as soon as   
he crossed the threshold. "I'm STARVING!"  
  
"Out ... for a walk." Fuugen Shinjin smiled back.   
  
"A walk?" That was it? THAT took the smiling idiot that long?   
A stupid little walk made Fuugen forget that there was someone  
starving here back home? [2] Okay, serious payback time tonight.  
  
"Susuu, have a little patience." Mokutaku poked his head out.  
"Shishou! You're back! I ... ur ... I'm having a little trouble  
with the bamboo steam cages ..."  
  
"I'll take care of it." Fuugen smiled. He'd forgotten that   
Mokutaku had only steamed buns once. "Won't you go over to the  
fridge and find the red clay pot? It should be on the third  
shelf from the bottom, to the right. That is the soup I was   
going to heat up tonight."  
  
Given the chill in the night, hot soup was a very good idea.  
  
"Fuugen?" Taikoubou caught hold of his arm. "... you're   
freezing. (sheesh, and you always say /I/ don't know how to   
take care of myself ...) Get inside here -?!"  
  
Fuugen hugged him tightly.  
  
"...*gasp* ... you're squeezing the breath out of me." Taikoubou  
pried himself loose. "What is with you today?"  
  
"Nothing." They were standing just outside the kitchen. "I just  
... realized how happy I am."  
  
"... don't even /think/ of getting out of your promise tonight."  
  
"Bou-chan," Fuugen smiled back as he set up the bamboo steam   
cage properly. "Perhaps I'm happy because I'm looking forward   
to it?"  
  
/Ohohohohoho./ Taikoubou snickered mentally. /We'll just see   
about that./  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUIZUMISAN, UMEISEKKAI   
  
Fuugen left.  
  
//Youzen-kun, see you tomorrow.//  
  
Recovering /his/ mask without fumbling, Fuugen Shinjin left.  
  
//You know where I live, Youzen-kun.//  
  
Youzen could still hear his voice.  
  
Suddenly furious, he swung Sansendou into the ground before him,  
hard. Staring at the jagged lines cut deeply into the earth,   
Youzen felt a grim satisfaction.  
  
/... how ... childish./  
  
The senseless destruction made him felt much better - until he   
thought of /him/ again.  
  
He remembered.  
  
//I abhor senseless violence and destruction.//  
  
The words Fuugen Shinjin said twenty years ago.   
  
"You aren't here." He told the laughing night wind. "I can do as   
I please. I don't care what you think of me!"  
  
But he did.  
  
//Youzen-kun, you are not the only person who wears a mask.//  
  
"Leave me ... alone."  
  
Youzen buried his face in his hair, his hands; trying to collect  
the shattered semblance of perfection.  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
"Ahhh. Your cooking is excellent, as always." Taikoubou let out   
a satisfied burp.  
  
Mokutaku looked into his bowl of cream of corn egg-drop soup,   
covering his snickers. His susuu seemed more of a child than   
/he/ was at times ...  
  
"I'm glad you liked it, Bou-chan," Fuugen collected the various  
bowls, plates, and eating utensils. "Mokutaku, it's your turn  
tonight."  
  
"Hai, shishou." Mokutaku busied himself with finishing his soup.  
"... I was wondering - why doesn't Taikoubou-susuu ever take a  
turn at doing the dishes?"  
  
"Would you trust me with those dishes?" Taikoubou took a peach   
from the basket on the table, and bit down after polishing the   
fruit against a sleeve. "I just might make sure no one ever   
needs to do dishes again."  
  
"Oh." Mokutaku's eyes widened. Given Taikoubou-susuu's ...   
tendencies, it was very likely that the doushi would break EVERY  
single dish and bowl just so he wouldn't have to do them.  
  
"Mokutaku," Fuugen gave his pupil a meaningful look. "Don't give  
your susuu ideas."  
  
Setting the dishes in the sink, Fuugen turned on the faucet.  
  
"Shishou, when's practice tomorrow? The one I'm to do with   
Nii-sama?"  
  
"The usual time, an hour after daybreak." Fuugen smiled. "Don't   
stay up too late."  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUIZUMISAN, UMEISEKKAI (midnight)  
  
The tread of familiar footsteps.  
  
"Youzen."   
  
"... shishou?" Youzen woke from a fitful doze. He had curled   
himself up against one of the baika trees.  
  
"You'll catch a cold like this."  
  
A blanket draped about his shoulders. Familiar warmth, arms   
helping him up and guiding him ... home.  
  
"... I'm sorry, shishou."  
  
He was tired. He did not need his mask with this person. With  
the person who knew him for who he was - for /what/ he was - the   
only person who loved him /despite/ knowing what he was.  
  
//Youzen-kun, you are not the only person to wear a mask.//  
  
He wanted to cry.  
  
"Come inside." There was no hint of reproach in Gyokutei  
Shinjin's voice. "It's late."  
  
"Hai."  
  
================================================================  
~tbc~  
================================================================  
[1] Ei Shuu = 3/4Æ1/4° what shi set as Fuugen's birth name. If   
anyone's interested in the actual Chinese characters,  
open or cut n' paste this file in a Chinese word   
processor.   
[2] Ehehehheh. Susuu, you've been brainwashed by Fuugen, ne?  
Don't you have your own room back at Gyokukyo Kyu?   
================================================================  
Shin no Freetalk:  
  
EEEP.  
A dark chapter this time. What happened to all the jokes and  
light-hearted parts?   
  
Nevermind. It will come back w/ a vengeance.  
  
Still, shi was amazed that shi managed to do the Fuugen   
flashback/past bit without giving /too/ much away. ^o^  
And the thought of Fuugen 'devirginizing' Youzen ... numnum.  
  
Hmmm. Lots of teacher-pupil interaction here ... isn't family  
life wonderful? (starts envisioning Papa-susuu & Momma-Fuugen   
and plus the baby Mokutaku makes three ... ^^;)  
  
Susuu's revenge WAS going to be in this chapter, but the weird  
dark mood - fun bondage mood shift had shi feel pretty ... odd.  
Not just shi, but also shi's proofreaders. It was very jarring  
when they pointed it out - however, given shi's extreme mood  
changes, shi dinna notice when writing.   
  
So vengeance has been cut out of this part.  
  
Making this a short part. MWAHHAHAHAHAH. (2 hrs/day for two days   
of work, just like the first part ~ but only 15K ~)  
Shi decided it will NOT reach 50K this part. Ehehehehh.  
Go on, have at shi w/ the mails. I dare you.  
  
mail shi-chan at kichin@doushi.org with any comments! ^o^  
================================================================  
Sneak previews of what's going to happen next:  
  
Susuu's revenge (finally!).  
Youzen pays a visit, and learns more about Fuugen.  
Genshitenson calls for Youzen.  
================================================================  
First Edition: September 25th, 2000 at 10:27 AM  
Last Revised: September 27th, 2000 at 9:16 PM   
================================================================  



	5. v

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:  
All rights and privileges to Houshin Engi belong to Ryu   
Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters   
from HE are used without permission for the purpose of   
entertainment only. This work of fanfiction is not meant for   
commercial use. No infringements of rights are intended.  
In other words - please don't sue me, I need my   
allowance to buy HE merchandise and make you guys rich!  
  
****************************************************************  
Smiling Tears  
Part V  
By Shioru Sutherlands (aka. Kotoshin)  
****************************************************************  
  
absolute truth simply cannot be told  
it's something one must seek and learn alone  
  
carry a secret too deep  
echoes in my soul voicing truths i keep  
given right to know  
access knowledge i hold  
bring the legend to the people  
  
let's take it slowly  
do not be afraid  
if you fall i'll come to your aid  
there's no real hurry  
we'll do it your way  
do not judge your progress in days  
  
absolute truth simply cannot be told  
it's something one must seek and learn alone  
break free from the foreordained destiny  
take fate in hand to rewrite history  
  
- "changing fate"  
-- Fuugen Shinjin - Taikoubou  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUIZUMISAN, KINKASUMI DOU  
  
The warm, fragrant scent of oolong tea languidly moved through  
the air.  
  
"Couldn't sleep either?" Gyokutei Shinjin set one mug of tea   
before Youzen, and settled himself down with another.  
  
"... hai, shishou." The tenzai-doushi revived fingers numbed  
with cold by putting them about his mug.   
  
//Don't break his heart, Fuugen.//  
  
Gyokutei watched the subdued cast of dark-violet eyes, wondering   
if there was the need to ask. Wondering if he would be answered,   
if he did. Wondering if he had the right to ask.  
  
//... don't worry, I won't.//  
  
He was afraid. Not for himself - never for himself - but for   
Youzen. He was afraid for Youzen, who needed him. Youzen, the   
child who /needed/ him.  
  
No one had ever needed him like Youzen did. Not even Kanume.  
  
/Kanume ... /  
  
Kanume was not strong in the physical sense, but she had been   
the mental pillar that he held on to when he doubted himself.   
  
//... were you not afraid?//  
  
//Yes. I was afraid for your life.//  
  
//Were you not afraid for yourself?//  
  
//No. Should I have been?//  
  
Kanume had been the strength of his heart.  
  
She had never been afraid for herself - only for him, and for   
their child. He had loved her, everything about her, all of her,  
but he had not understood her.  
  
//... it's too dangerous. You must not follow.//  
  
//I know that there will be danger.  
I know that I may be a burden to you.  
I know that there is no such thing as a 'safe' place.  
So ... I would rather be in danger with you, than without.  
I will follow.//  
  
He had not understood her courage until he met Youzen. Until he   
understood why she loved him. Until he understood ...  
  
... he had been the one who needed her.   
  
Kanume had been a strong woman, a soul as stern and unyielding  
as the forged metal of the blade he wields. Kanume had never   
needed anyone.  
  
Kanume had not needed anyone, except to be needed.  
  
Kanume had not needed anyone, but she had chosen to need him -  
had chosen to answer his need of her.  
  
/Is love only this feeling, this need?/  
  
He understood, finally. He understood her. He understood her   
need to be /needed/, the need to love and be loved in return.  
  
He understood the need when he looked into the loneliness of   
deep violet eyes - the eyes of a child who never had the luxury   
of being one.  
  
The eyes of a child with the same need, unrealized. The eyes of  
a child who needed love, who needed to be loved, who needed   
someone to love.  
  
A child who needed /him./  
  
Violet eyes, the aching need he answered. Violet eyes that had  
filled his need for affection, filled the void that Kanume had  
left in her passing.  
  
Kanume, who asked him to live.  
  
/Kanume .../  
  
Even when dying, Kanume had not needed him with the desperation  
that Youzen did.   
  
No, Kanume had not needed him like this child.  
  
//Don't break his heart, Fuugen.//  
  
This child, who was - who /is/ the center of his universe, his   
reason for existing. This child who he loved as if a child of   
his own flesh.  
  
This child, who now needed the kind of love which he had not.  
Youzen needed the kind of love he could not and would not give.  
  
//... don't worry, I won't.//  
  
He could not help but worry. Despite the agreeable appearance,   
Fuugen was not an easy person to love. Not for anyone, and   
especially not for Youzen.   
  
He had to know.  
  
"What did Fuugen-shitei speak to you about?"  
  
"I ... don't want to talk about it, shishou." Violet eyes   
refused to look at him.  
  
Gyokutei was not surprised by the reluctant answer.  
  
/Fuugen, if you are only toying with him .../  
  
The sennin's fingers tightened about his mug, a coldness   
spreading in his bones - a coldness that the radiating heat  
could not drive away.  
  
/... if you are only toying with him .../  
  
He was not afraid for himself. He was only afraid for Youzen.  
  
"Shishou," Youzen felt something amiss with the silence. "Is  
something wrong?"  
  
"No." Gyokutei smiled at his student. "I just wondered if he   
told you about -"  
  
/... told me about?/ Youzen's heart leapt nervously, hoping.  
  
"- the Houshin Keikaku." His shishou's words cut the faint  
thread of hope.   
  
"... Houshin Keikaku?" Gyokutei could see the disappointment,  
and the pain in the expression bit as deeply as if it was his   
own. "No, what is this ... this Houshin Project?"  
  
The least he could do was to give the child something else to  
think about - something other than a certain Jyuu Ni Sen.  
  
"You know the situation the Ningenkai is in right now," Youzen  
nodded, his interest piqued. "The Houshin Project is the project   
which will remedy that situation ..."  
  
================================================================  
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - THE AFTERMATH  
  
"I- itai..." It hurt.   
  
He opens his eyes, knowing that it would be sunrise in another  
hour. He always did have an impeccable time sense.  
  
"... itai ..." He hurt.   
  
He tries to move, and the soreness that permeates his body makes   
itself obvious to him.  
  
"... itai." He hurt all over.  
  
Bound over his head, his arms were stiff and growing cramped   
from the weight of his own body. His skin felt raw, red scald   
marks all over pale flesh the visual confirmation.  
  
Palpable, the salt in the air, the scent of sweat, the scent of   
fluids. Sweetness hung in the air, the scent of burnt sugar, the   
scent of peaches.   
  
Apart from the aching pangs that tugged at him everywhere, he   
was sticking to the bedsheets. Wincing, he makes a face at the   
various stains - gold and brown and white - smelling faintly of   
sugar and crushed fruit and other moisture.  
  
They were going to be difficult to get out of the linen.  
  
His hair were falling into his eyes, damp and plastered to his  
head in many places - the tousled blue locks rebellious and   
uncooperative even if he was free to attempt taming them.  
  
He sighs, shivering, as the cool wind between dawn and night  
steals into the room. Murmuring, the wind was echoed by the   
sole other occupant of his bed.  
  
Sleeping, dark brown hair spilled across a corner of untouched  
white sheets, the child-like face peaceful in slumber.   
  
If he could have, he would have ruffled the hair, running his   
fingers through the rich auburn strands. If he could have, he   
would have traced the shell-like edge of the ear, and come to   
rest on a smooth cheek.  
  
If he could have, he would have thrown an arm around the waist  
possessively, and teased the sleeper back into wakefulness.  
  
He could not have done any of those things, tied up as he was  
at the moment. He smiled, amused by his own thoughts.  
  
He watched as the other wrapped the blankets tighter about, and   
turned over in sleep.  
  
The wind was laughing.  
  
The wind laughed as it roved across his nakedness and reminded   
him. The wind reminded him that this was also the unscrupulous   
thief who stole all the blankets, leaving him to its mercies.   
  
He only had himself to blame, really.  
  
Softly, Fuugen Shinjin began to laugh.  
  
================================================================  
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - IT BEGINS ...  
  
"Get over here." Sitting on the bed, Taikoubou grinned evilly at   
Fuugen.  
  
"Hai," Fuugen sat down beside the doushi. "Bou-chan."  
  
"Put your arms together and hold them forward." Pulling out a   
coil of rope, Taikoubou ordered.  
  
"Wait," Fuugen smiled - it seemed that Bou-chan was not as  
imaginative as usual tonight. "I have something better." [1]  
  
".... what are you up to?" Watching Fuugen rummage about the  
closet, Taikoubou began to get suspicious.  
  
"I was saving this for a special occasion." Cold steel irons,  
the links of chain weighing heavy in his hands as Fuugen laid  
them there. "Does Bou-chan like them?"  
  
"... I don't even want to know WHY you have these." [2]  
  
"I almost forgot." Something landed in the palm of his hand.   
  
A key.   
  
"This is the only key to these irons." Fuugen was smiling too   
innocently.  
  
"... Fuugen, is this -" Taikoubou held up the key. "Is this the  
ONLY key that could open these things?"  
  
"Yes, Bou-chan." Fuugen nodded, smiling sweetly, and allowed   
Taikoubou to clap an iron on one wrist. "It is."  
  
"... you swear?" Taikoubou jerked the chain toward the bedposts,   
fastening and winding it there.  
  
"Cross my heart and hope to die."   
  
"Hmph." Fuugen wasn't lying. "Then ... just making sure ..."  
  
*clink clink*  
  
The key bounced against the closed door of the bedroom before  
falling to the floor.  
  
"You'll have to beg me to unlock you, now." Clapping the iron on  
the end to Fuugen's other wrist, Taikoubou smirked.  
  
"That's the idea, Bou-chan." Fuugen agreed. "... but why aren't   
you using the leg irons?"  
  
Did this idiot think that he wouldn't DARE do anything to him?  
  
"Nah." Taikoubou chucked the remaining chain aside. "Too ...  
restrictive, for what I have in mind."  
  
Fuugen only smiled.  
  
/We'll see who's smiling at the end./  
  
/We'll see./  
  
================================================================  
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - THE AFTERMATH  
  
Sweat beaded into his eyes as he strained against the chains.  
Fingers spread, hand flexing, straining for -  
  
Finally, his efforts were rewarded with the sound of joints   
separating.  
  
It hurt.  
  
The right thumb dangled uselessly, dislocated at the base. The  
hand slipped easily out of the irons, and he held his right arm   
steady as he repeated the process with his left hand.  
  
It hurt, the pain.  
  
He fell to his side, body half-held up by an elbow. Using his  
own weight as leverage, he pushed. He could feel the sweat crawl   
over furrowed brows as he relocated the joints of both thumbs.  
  
It hurt, the pain - but pain was a reminder of the state of   
living.  
  
Gingerly moving his fingers, he was satisfied that all was well.  
Even the various aches in his body felt good - he catalogued  
them, every single one. Every single one which he would exact  
repayment.  
  
It hurt, but the pain was not only a reminder, but also a pleasure.  
  
There was a tangy sweetness in his mouth. Tongue darts out   
curiously, tasting blood. Sweet, the taste of blood. He had not   
noticed that before. Nor noticed when it had happened.  
  
He gets up.  
  
The floor was cold under his bare feet, the air cool against   
his body, damp with sweat. He crossed the hard, smooth stone,  
a few woven rugs lending brief warmth, and bent down.  
  
Fingers picked up a small gleaming object.  
  
The key to the irons.  
  
"... a key isn't the only way to get out of chains, Bou-chan."  
  
================================================================  
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - HOT & COLD  
  
"What are those, Bou-chan?"  
  
"Can't you tell?"  
  
"... it looks like you raided the pantry."  
  
"BINGO. You get a prize."  
  
"... what are you doing?!"  
  
"Having dessert."  
  
"... itai! ... it's /hot/, Bou-chan!"  
  
"I know that. It's sugar syrup - hey, don't move!"  
  
"... eeeah! ... you'll scald the skin! (Bou-chan - my clean  
bedsheets!)"  
  
"... not with this. HOLD STILL. (So what? Get rid of it with   
Taikyokufuin or something. You can do it.)"  
  
"... the fruit ices from the fridge?! (Do you have any idea how  
much more energy doing that takes than just washing it?!)"  
  
"You win another prize. (ehehehehhehehehehheh)"  
  
"... yiiieeee~!"  
  
"... better now? (yum. Just as I thought - the two of them taste   
GOOD together)"  
  
"... *pant* ... Bou-chan ... did you ... *pant* ... heat the ...  
/whole/ jar?"  
  
"Yup. AND got all the fruit ices from the fridge right /here/."  
  
"... (it's going to be a long night ... ^^;) ...."  
  
"... I'm not stupid enough to leave any for you. (MWAHAHAHHA)"  
  
"... Bou-chan ..." Fuugen gave him a soulful look. "Aren't you  
afraid that Mokutaku might hear me scream?"  
  
"... blackmail, eh?" Taikoubou sneered. "If he would have, he  
would have a LONG time ago."  
  
"... Bou-chan, I think you should reconsider ..."  
  
"... you think I didn't know that you soundproofed ALL the rooms   
here?"  
  
Fuugen wore the guilty expression of one who was found out.  
  
"Awww, here. Have a peach fruit ice." Taikoubou popped it in  
Fuugen's mouth. "Don't drop it."  
  
"... mmmmph. (...can't refuse him anything, can't deny him   
anything ...|||||bbbb)"   
  
How did that saying go again? Revenge is a dish best eaten cold?   
Perhaps.  
  
"MWAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. (You never thought I'd do something like  
this, didya? Fuugen-who-only-THINKS-he-knows-me-too-well~)"  
  
/Revenge is soooo~ sweet./  
  
================================================================  
TAIKOUBOU'S REVENGE - THE AFTERMATH  
  
*CLICK*  
  
Abrupt and sudden, heavy weights about his wrists startled him   
awake. Well, if not that, the cold hand tickling below his   
waistline would have done the same.  
  
"... FUUGEN?!" Taikoubou could not believe his eyes. "How did   
you -"  
  
"Oh, how did I get this?" Fuugen gave the key in his hand a  
puzzled look, and shrugged.   
  
"Don't act as if you don't know!" Taikoubou felt like exploding.  
  
"That would be telling, ne?" Smiling, Fuugen dangled the key in   
front of Bou-chan's nose.   
  
"... is it morning already?!"   
  
Why, oh WHY didn't he go back to his own room in Gyokukyo Kyu?  
  
/Sometimes my practice of laziness bites me in the ass. (|||b)/  
  
"Yes, it is." Fuugen's smile broke what little remained of  
Taikoubou's hope that it was still 'night' and hence THAT  
PROMISE still held. "I could just let you go ..."  
  
Wisely, Taikoubou said nothing.   
  
/You'd do as you please ANYWAY, you bastard!/  
  
Unfortuneately, his expression spoke volumes to Fuugen.  
  
"... but you're leaving soon." Fuugen cupped chin into hands,  
sighing dramatically. "And who knows when I'd be able to enjoy a   
repeat of last night's performance again?"  
  
"You -" Taikoubou was flabbergasted. "- you PERVERT. You ENJOYED  
that and you're still taking it out of my hide - what kind of a   
masochistic bastard are you?!"  
  
"A sadistic one." The smiling reply was prompt.  
  
Taikoubou did not know whether to laugh of cry.  
  
"Relax, Bou-chan." Fuugen laughed. "I only said that because you  
have the most /interesting/ expressions when you think I'm about  
to retaliate."  
  
Given past experiences, the doushi knew he could breathe a sigh   
of relief at those words. Fuugen usually told the truth. USUALLY   
being the keyword.  
  
Unfortuneately, to be certain of that, he had to provoke Fuugen.  
  
/Okay, here goes nothing .../  
  
"... relax?" Taikoubou glared ineffectually, rattling chains.   
"You think I can relax in these things? And you think I don't   
know that you're just trying to get me off my guard so that you  
can-mmmph!"  
  
/No, not AGAIN-/  
  
"... that was nice." Fuugen commented, after breaking the kiss  
for the necessity of air.  
  
Strange. Fuugen should have followed up after that kiss. It was  
NOT like Fuugen to taunt him so obviously, unless -  
  
- unless Fuugen wanted him to be angry.   
  
Well, he /was/, but that was beside the point!  
  
"I KNEW IT." Taikoubou had never felt so righteous in his self-  
justification. "YOU LIKED IT. You LIKE it when I'm tormenting   
you. You LIKE to create excuses to be on the receiving end - so   
you just - UGH!"  
  
"You said that, Bou-chan, I didn't." Fuugen pointed out,   
standing and pulling the linen bedsheets out from under   
Taikoubou. "Besides, I really don't have the energy ..."  
  
He trailed off, covering a yawn.   
  
/Serves you right, you nymphomaniac./   
  
Taikoubou felt better, but not by much.  
  
"... unless you'd like me to."  
  
"I DON'T WANT YOU TO!"  
  
"I know." Fuugen bundled the miscellaneous pieces of 'damaged'  
bedsheets, pillows, pillow-covers and whatnot up. "Be right   
back."  
  
He was naked, freezing his ass blue, and Fuugen was going to   
leave him chained up like this without even a flimsy sheet? [3]  
  
"Fuugen, don't you DARE leave me here like this!"  
  
"Got to do laundry, Bou-chan. Should have thought of that before  
you decided to massacre the linen, ne?'  
  
"FUUGEN, GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE!!!"  
  
The only answer Taikoubou got was lilting laughter, followed by   
the sound of the bedroom door closing.  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUIZUMISAN, KINKASUMI DOU  
  
Youzen did not get much sleep last night. Between Fuugen   
Shinjin's words and what Gyokutei-shishou had to say about the   
upcoming Houshin Project ... there was much to think about.  
  
It was not restful when he did sleep. He had vague, half-formed  
dreams which teased and tantalized him with promises of   
unfulfilled desire. Dreams that he could not remember, waking.  
  
When Youzen went to make himself breakfast, there was only a   
note waiting for him in the empty kitchen.  
  
//Youzen:  
  
I will be over at Kengensan Kinkou Dou with Taiitsu  
Shinjin should you need me.  
  
-- Gyokutei //  
  
His shishou must have known that he would not be in the mood for   
company this morning.   
  
"... thank you." Youzen sighed. "Gyokutei-shishou."  
  
It was not that he did not appreciate the fact that his shishou   
understood him so well. It was simply that -   
  
Simply what?  
  
/... simply that I am lonely./   
  
Yes, it was true. He loved his shishou like a father, he talked  
to his shishou as if a friend - but he had felt something   
lacking, recently. He needed someone more than a father or a   
friend. He needed ...   
  
Youzen tried not to think past that thought. Recently, there were   
subjects that he could not discuss with his shishou.   
  
/... like Fuugen Shinjin, perhaps?/  
  
Youzen did not want to think about the smiling sennin. Instead,  
he moved to the balcony, watching the sunrise as he ate.   
  
In the pure air of the Senninkai, there was nothing obstructing  
the view as the barest hint of rose-colored light appeared in   
the distance. The bright spark grew, blending violet and crimson   
and warm orange hues in a spectacular display of fiery colours.   
  
As a finale, the sun burst out of the rainbow clouds gathered at   
the skyline, spilling gold over the Konronsan landscape.  
  
/... beautiful./  
  
It was going to be a beautiful morning. The sky was a clear   
endless blue that reminded him of -  
  
No. He would not think of /him/. He would think of something   
else.  
  
/... The Houshin Project./  
  
What his shishou told him was ... fascinating, to say the least.  
  
/It would be a test of my considerable abilities./  
  
Youzen did not doubt for one moment that /he/ would be the one to   
execute the project. Who else could?  
  
/Even for me, it would not be easy. To take on powerful sendou  
like Dakki, Shinkouhyou, and Bunchuu ... sennin and doushi who   
are said to equal the Three Great Sennin in their own right./  
  
Yes, it would be a difficult test to succeed, even for a prodigy   
like himself.   
  
Idly, he wondered if he should accept the Project. Such a project  
would inevitably lead to warfare, and battles would not only   
involve mortals, but also Immortals.   
  
/After all, I am the only person with a chance of succeeding./  
  
And if - no, /when/ he succeeded ...  
  
/... it would make Fuugen Shinjin take another look at you,   
perhaps?/  
  
He told his conscience to shut up. It didn't work. He gave up,  
and let his thoughts wandered where they will.  
  
//Youzen-kun, see you tomorrow.//  
  
Was it an invitation? And if it was, what was it an invitation   
of? ... what HAD Fuugen Shinjin meant by those words?  
  
/What should I do?/  
  
//You know where I live, Youzen-kun.//  
  
Shouldn't he have been angry that the sennin had sounded so   
/certain/?  
  
"What do you want me to do?" Youzen knew the answer as soon as  
he asked himself out loud.  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
Mokutaku wondered at the stony silence at breakfast. Well, stony  
silence on his susuu's part. He sneaked a look at Taikoubou,   
whose face was positively BLACK as he stirred half the contents   
of the sugar tin into his bowl of millet porridge.  
  
His shishou, however, was his usual bright and cheerful self.   
  
The doushi put a spoonful of millet porridge to his lips,   
blowing on the hot porridge before eating. It seemed to him that   
his susuu was sulking.   
  
He wondered what had happened between the two last night.  
  
"Bou-chan, would you like a bun?" Fuugen passed the dish of   
steamed buns over. "There's -"  
  
Without answering, Taikoubou grabbed for the biggest bun and  
began ripping into it savagely.  
  
/Susuu looks like he wishes that bun was shishou ... (|||bbb)/  
  
"... Bou-chan, that one has spicy fermented bean curd spread in  
it." [4]  
  
Face red and eyes watering, Taikoubou dropped the bun after one  
huge bite and ran for the kitchen sink.  
  
"... umm, shishou?"  
  
Mokutaku decided to ask a question while the first-ranking   
student of Genshitenson-sama himself held his head under the   
faucet, hastily gulping down water.  
  
"Hai, Mokutaku?" Fuugen picked up the dropped bun, and began   
finishing what Taikoubou started. "We're out of sugar syrup, so   
there are ones with honey spread on them. Other ones have that   
vegetarian 'pork' powder." [5]  
  
"... er, no, I meant that ... why are you wearing a scarf today,   
shishou?"  
  
Though wearing his customary open-necked shirt, Fuugen Shinjin   
had a scarf of the same deep purple colour wound about his neck   
and covering the shoulders.  
  
"This?" Fuugen set down the bun to look critically at the scarf.  
"Your susuu stole the blankets last night. I seem to have   
developed a sore throat because of that."  
  
That statement drew sputtering sounds from the direction of the   
kitchen sink.  
  
/Hah. Sore throat. I'll bet all that caterwauling I 'induced'   
last night helped./  
  
"... I'm sorry to hear that, shishou." Now that Mokutaku thought   
about it, his shishou /was/ sounding a bit hoarse this morning.   
"Are you okay?"   
  
"I'll live." Fuugen sipped at his portion of millet porridge.  
  
Bou-chan must STILL be angry that he'd been left chained to the   
bed for an hour before being released.  
  
/I didn't even DO anything else to him .../  
  
It occurred to him that it would give him the perfect excuse.   
  
/Sorry, Bou-chan./ Fuugen smiled wistfully. /Might as well get   
used to being without you, seeing as you ARE leaving soon .../   
  
"Fuugen, you /could/ have warned me." Taikoubou's face had  
regained its normal coloring. "You know I DON'T like spicy   
stuff!"  
  
"You didn't give me a chance to, Bou-chan."   
  
"Where are the pork powder ones?" Ignoring the sennin,   
Taikoubou returned his thoughts to food. "How come you never  
put the spreads I like in the BIG buns?"  
  
"That's it." Fuugen set his spoon down. "Bou-chan, you're out of  
here."  
  
Mokutaku watched, dumbfound, as his shishou pushed his susuu out  
the backdoor.  
  
"FUUGEN?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"  
  
"I've had enough. You eat in my bed. You ruin my sheets. You   
don't clean up after yourself. You expect me to do your laundry.  
You sleep in my bed. You expect me to wake you up and get you  
dressed in time. You criticize my cooking while freeloading the   
food. In short, you are inconsiderate, ungrateful, and RUDE."  
  
The door shut in Taikoubou's face.  
  
"Find someone else to leech off of."  
  
Fuugen returned to the breakfast table and sat down just as the  
pounding and yelling started outside.  
  
"... shishou, did you /mean/ what you said?"  
  
"Of course I did." Fuugen smiled. It wasn't the best reaction he   
had gotten out of Bou-chan in thirty years, but it /was/ right   
up there.  
  
================================================================  
KONRONSAN DOUSHI TRAINING GROUNDS  
  
"Good morning, Monjyu-shixiong." Fuugen Shinjin smiled at his   
fellow Jyuu Ni Sen.  
  
"G'morning, Fuugen-shitei." Monjyu Kouhoutenson inhaled deeply   
and spread his arms wide. "Lovely day, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
"Yo!" Kintaku hollered from the training ring below the two  
sennin. "Shishou! Can we start now?"  
  
"Not yet!" Monjyu hollered back. "On my count: one, two, three,   
GO!"  
  
Standing side by side, the two watched as their pupils squared  
off against each other, making comments now and then on a   
particularly clever maneuver on the part of one or both   
students.  
  
"Good morning, Fuugen-susuu, Monjyu-susuu." A polite greeting  
interrupted a discussion on the pros & cons of defensive versus  
offensive paopei.  
  
"Good morning, Youzen." Monjyu was the first to reply. "Lovely  
weather for outdoor exercise, isn't it?"  
  
"Urm, yes, it is." Youzen agreed hastily, for Monjyu Kouhoutenson   
was known to be a rather vocal nature-activist.   
  
The last thing the tenzai-doushi wanted was to receive a   
long-winded dissertation on the wonders of Mother Nature.  
  
"Good morning, Youzen-kun - oh, look, Mokutaku's managed to   
break out of the Tonryutou." Fuugen noted. "Kintaku is   
surprised, but holding his position. You've taught him well,   
Monjyu-shixiong."  
  
"Really? Yes, you're right." Monjyu looked pleased. "You're a  
good teacher yourself, most doushi wouldn't have thought to use  
the three Tonryutou's inherent repelling force against each   
other to free themselves."  
  
"Sorry to disturb you," Youzen cut in, "but ... I am here to  
speak with Fuugen-susuu. It will only be for a short while."  
  
"Monjyu-shixiong?" Fuugen looked questioningly at the older  
Jyuu Ni Sen. "Would you mind if ...?"  
  
"No, not at all." Monjyu's attention were only on the doushi in  
the practice ring. "I'll be able to handle any mischief those   
two may cause. You two go ahead, we'll be fine here."  
  
================================================================  
A NAMELESS PEAK IN KONRONSAN   
  
Now that he was alone with /him/, he found that he had lost his  
voice. He had left his wits somewhere behind him, and had not  
the words to say the thoughts he had forgotten.  
  
"Youzen-kun, you wished to speak to me?" Fuugen Shinjin's   
ever-present, angelic smile was not making it easier.  
  
"I -" By the powers between Heaven and Earth, he was stuttering  
like a lovesick idiot. Which he wasn't. Okay, /maybe/ the   
lovesick part, but he was definitely no idiot.  
  
"Youzen-kun?"  
  
"What did you mean?" He could bite his tongue off, he sounded   
twice the fool, speaking what just came to mind. "I meant, what  
did you mean by the words you spoke last night?"  
  
"Youzen-kun." Again, Youzen witnessed the transformation from   
the Fuugen Shinjin he knew to the one he did not. He was ready  
this time. He would not back away.   
  
"What did you think I meant?"  
  
"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."  
  
"I meant what I said." Unsmiling, Fuugen looked away. "You   
did not hear what I said."  
  
"I listened to what you said, but I don't understand."  
  
"Listening and hearing are two different things, Youzen-kun."  
  
"I don't have time for word games, Fuugen Shinjin!"   
  
Fuugen was unmoved by his outburst. Violet eyes unreadable, the  
sennin sat down abruptly.  
  
"Sit down, Youzen-kun." The sennin looked up at him. "I think we   
have some communication problems to work out."  
  
"I believe we do, Fuugen Shinjin - or should I say,   
Fuugen-SUSUU." Youzen sat down.  
  
He did not like this feeling - this feeling that the sennin was   
laughing at his expense.   
  
"Starting with what you really meant. How can listening and   
hearing be two different things? Aren't they the same?"  
  
"No, they're not." Fuugen did not look at him. "You can listen  
to someone, but at the same time hear only the sound of their  
voice and not what they are trying to tell you."  
  
"Are you implying that I don't pay attention to you?"  
  
"You said that, I did not." Fuugen smiled. It was a cold smile,  
a smile like the sharp edge of wintry ice, brittle and cold.   
"Let me put this bluntly: you do not love me at all."  
  
"How can you say that?" Youzen stared at the sennin in   
disbelief. "If I don't love you - if I don't love you - what is  
this emotion I feel for you? What is -"  
  
"It isn't love." A hand on his wrist stopped his words.  
"To love someone, you must know the person you love. And you do  
not know me at all, do you, Youzen-kun?"  
  
"I -" He could not refute that.  
  
"The Fuugen you love is not the Fuugen that is." The voice   
continued, merciless and relentless. "The Fuugen you love DOES  
NOT EXIST. The Fuugen you love is only a mask, /my/ mask, a   
person who I would like to be. A person I wish others to believe  
in. A person that I am NOT.  
  
"You have never seen the real Fuugen until last night. I had  
never let you see myself as I am. Now, I ask you again, Youzen-  
kun. Do you love 'me'?"  
  
He looked into strangely familiar violet-blue eyes, eyes as deep  
and as bottomless as dreams.   
  
Strange eyes, for he had never truly looked at them before. He   
had never looked, because he had been afraid to. Afraid, to look   
into them and be discovered looking.  
  
Familiar eyes, strangely familiar, something he could not put a  
name to. Something that he knew he should have known, the moment  
he saw those eyes. The eyes that knew exactly what it wanted,   
when it wanted it, /how/ it wanted it - the eyes of a predator.  
  
"Yes." he answered, simply. "I love 'you'."   
  
The eyes mirrored his own.  
  
================================================================  
TAIKOUBOU'S "MEDITATION" ROCK  
  
/Crap./ Taikoubou's stomach grumbled as he sat on the rock,  
pretending to his daily meditation exercise. /I had NO idea that  
Fuugen was capable of anger./  
  
Okay, so he probably had - heck, he HAD taken his lover for   
granted lately. No wonder Fuugen was angry. He supposed he  
ought to apologize.  
  
/I'm sorry, Fuugen, I really really REALLY am./  
  
The doushi had gotten Mokutaku to sneak more buns to him,   
afterwards, but that was more than six hours ago. He could feel  
his stomach wrap itself about his spine, literally.  
  
/Owie. I wonder how much groveling do I need for Fuugen to   
relent?/  
  
Taikoubou missed having his lunch delivered.   
  
/... *sigh* ... I suppose I'll sleep it off and crawl back home   
for supper./  
  
Resigned to an empty stomach, Taikoubou decided to take his   
afternoon nap.  
  
================================================================  
A NAMELESS PEAK IN KONRONSAN   
  
"Youzen-kun ..." Blue-violet eyes were ... unhappy? "I had hoped  
that would not be your answer."  
  
"... why?" He was anything but stupid. "There is someone else,  
isn't there?"  
  
"Yes." Fuugen did not bother to hide the fact. "Why, are you   
curious about his identity?"  
  
"Of course." Whoever his 'competitor' was, Youzen was certain he  
could better the other in any area. "Who is he?"  
  
Fuugen began to laugh. A snickering laugh that was directed at  
him. Youzen hated it when he was not taken seriously - when he  
was laughed at.  
  
"Don't laugh at me!" He grabbed the sennin and shook him, hard.  
"Tell me who he is."  
  
"... you wouldn't believe me if I told you."  
  
"Tell me his name."  
  
"... Bou-chan." Seeing the incomprehension on Youzen's face,  
Fuugen clarified. "Taikoubou-susuu to you, Youzen-kun."  
  
"... I don't believe you."  
  
"You may believe what you please, Youzen-kun."   
  
Those violet eyes were laughing at him.  
  
"... why?" Youzen said, finally. "Why him? Why HIM of all   
people?"  
  
"Because he has something that I lack." Fuugen's answer was  
simple and certain. "Because he has something no one else has.  
Something that I cannot explain to you - yet."  
  
"... what does he have that I have not?" He demanded.  
  
"......" Fuugen did not answer. "Youzen-kun, it is possible for   
me to love you."  
  
"You did not answer my question."  
  
"It was a question I could not answer in a way that you would  
understand." Fuugen Shinjin moved close, leaning intimately   
against his shoulder. "Besides, there is something else you   
should know."  
  
"... what should I know?" Youzen let it slide. He did not want  
to drive away the slender figure pressed to his. He put one arm  
around Fuugen's shoulders, waiting for his answer.  
  
"If you want to love me, you must know me."  
  
"... you have said that already."  
  
"The opposite also holds true, Youzen-kun."  
  
"...!!!" Did Fuugen Shinjin mean that ...   
  
The sennin nodded.  
  
"I won't pry into your secrets, but neither will I look the   
other way should you let something slip. If you want me to love  
/you/, I must know /you/."  
  
"... I accept."  
  
"Youzen-kun," Somehow, Fuugen had managed to wind both arms   
about his neck without him noticing until after the fact. "Don't   
be so quick to accept before I am done speaking."  
  
"... what else is there to know?" He knew the risk he was   
taking - the risk of exposing his very heart and soul to this  
creature -   
  
/What if he learned - what if he knew - /  
  
The body over his was almost feverish in temperature, the body  
heat burning into him, against him. He wanted Fuugen. He NEEDED  
Fuugen.  
  
/No. He will not know. I will make certain of that./  
  
... he knew he would accept what Fuugen offered.  
  
"I will make a deal with you, Youzen-kun." Fuugen nuzzled   
against his ear. He tightened his grip on the sennin's shoulder.   
  
"If, at any time, you find me wanting - if you find someone else  
you love - you are free to go, no strings attached."  
  
"I would never do such a -"  
  
"Shh. Let me finish first," Fuugen's voice was husky, a purring  
note that made him listen. "You will not lie to me, ever. Nor  
will I lie to you. Simply do not answer the questions you do not  
want to.  
  
"I will do the same, secret for secret, truth for truth. If you  
learn something I did not wish you to ... I have the right to do  
the same. And I know I will, just as I know you will. These are  
the terms - will you accept them?"  
  
"You speak nothing of fidelity." The fact that Fuugen had ...  
Taikoubou as a lover still rankled.  
  
"I put no such holds upon you." Fuugen moved out of his hold,  
suddenly aloof. "Do not ask the same of me."  
  
"But -" Youzen could not get used to the sudden shifts between  
this Fuugen Shinjin's mood.  
  
He was left with the need for warmth, left cold where Fuugen   
had touched him.  
  
"I think there is something else you should see before you   
accept, then."  
  
"Wha-!?"  
  
Youzen stared as Fuugen tugged open the dark scarf about his   
neck. The deep purple fell free, and fluttered to the ground.  
  
Red. Red and raw, livid scald marks that marred the otherwise   
perfect flesh.  
  
"Who did this to you?" He knew. He knew who did this. "Did HE  
do this to you?"  
  
"Myself." Fuugen smiled back at him. "I did this to myself."  
  
"... you're lying."  
  
"... I allowed it. Isn't that the same?"  
  
" ... it isn't."  
  
"What if I told you -" Fuugen replaced the scarf. "What if I   
told you that I could have stopped it at any time I wanted to?   
  
"What if I told you that I /wanted/ him to do this to me?"  
  
The smile held only self-mockery.  
  
"Do you still love 'me', Youzen-kun? Who did you love, truly?   
Did you love the mask or the person behind it? Can you still   
say that you love 'me'?"  
  
/Do you still love me?/  
  
The eyes were almost savage in their intensity.  
  
"I love you." Without hesitation. "I love ... you, Fuugen. I  
love 'you'."  
  
"... then, you may have me."  
  
================================================================  
KONRONSAN DOUSHI TRAINING GROUNDS  
  
"Sorry for the wait, Monjyu-shixiong." Smiling, Fuugen Shinjin  
rejoined the other Jyuu Ni Sen and their two pupils.  
  
"These things always take longer than expected." Monjyu   
Kouhoutenson laughed. "Don't worry about it, Fuugen-shitei.   
Everything is fine - and we're done here at any rate."  
  
"So, how did Mokutaku do?" Fuugen smiled at his student,   
mouthing a silent apology at his absence.  
  
Mokutaku spread his hands, allowing his teacher to know that it  
was okay, really, he didn't mind at all.  
  
"Oh, I think we can safely call it a draw." Monjyu nodded, it   
had been a splendid idea for the two brothers to train together.  
"Give the young 'uns a few more weeks, and I think we can start  
on getting them to work together as a team."  
  
"... eh?" Kintaku looked surprised. "Shishou, who is to be our  
practice opponent, then?"  
  
"Nii-sama." Mokutaku nudged his brother. "That question has a   
very obvious answer, don't you think?"  
  
"Very good, Mokutaku." Fuugen congratulated his student.   
"Once the two of you are synchronized as a team, either   
Monjyu-shixiong or myself will be your opponent."  
  
"That's still going to be months away," Monjyu rubbed his chin  
and waggled a finger at the doushi. "So the two of you needn't   
worry your heads about it yet - and remember to go easy on your   
teacher, ne?"  
  
"Hai." Kintaku grinned widely, elbowing his brother back. "This  
is going to be fun, little brother."  
  
"Hai, nii-sama." Mokutaku grinned back. "Shishou, would you mind   
if I went over to Monjyu-susuu's place for lunch today?   
Monjyu-susuu said it was okay, and I haven't been able to see   
nii-sama in ages ..."  
  
"Not at all." Fuugen smiled. "If I am not home before you are,  
I'll be found at your Taiitsu-susuu's place. Enjoy yourself,   
Mokutaku."  
  
================================================================  
A NAMELESS PEAK IN KONRONSAN   
  
"... Fuugen Shinjin ..." He was breathless with need, having  
pulled the sennin over and closed the distance between them.  
  
"Sealing the bargain with a kiss, Youzen-kun?" The blue-violet   
eyes teased, giving him a quick peck on the lips.  
  
"... call me Youzen." He disliked the formality those eyes   
insisted.  
  
"Only if you call me Fuugen."  
  
"... I already do, Fuugen." Yes, this was what he remembered,  
this burning, fiery contact. He recalled what Fuugen had done  
the night before, and gave as good as he received.  
  
"... Youzen ..." Hands gently pushed him away, a minimum of   
distance that kept it acceptance and not rejection. "... not  
here. Not now."  
  
"... why not?" He wanted him. And he wanted him /now/.  
  
"... I wouldn't be a very good master if I just left my student  
unsupervised for a roll in the hay, ne?" The voice was light-  
hearted, "Even if it is such a ... a practice in restraint to   
stop now with a gorgeous man like yourself."  
  
"Flatterer." He growled in flushed pleasure, refusing to let go.  
  
"Besides ... " A slow, lingering kiss against his mouth, ending  
in a playful bite. "... you wouldn't desire me as much if I was   
this easy."  
  
"When, then?" Youzen had to smile at that.  
  
"Tonight at moonrise." Fuugen wriggled out from beneath him.   
"How does the Umesekkai sound?"  
  
"... perfect."  
  
Fuugen wasn't listening. Or at least, wasn't listening to him.   
The sennin's head was tilted to one side, in a listening pose.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Seems like Genshitenson-sama is looking for you." Hands on his   
halo, Fuugen Shinjin replied. "I've set the receiving frequency   
on this mobile sensor so that I can hear any announcement   
G-sama makes. Useful knack to have. It got Bou-chan and myself   
out of trouble more than once."  
  
"The Houshin Keikaku?" Youzen's face had darkened at the mention  
of Taikoubou's nickname. So he /was/ jealous.   
  
/... he refers to HIM so ... intimately .../  
  
"Probably." Fuugen was busy setting his clothing to rights. "We  
should both be going to our various appointments."  
  
"... you're right." But that didn't mean he had to like it.  
  
"If you keep scowling like that, your face will freeze that way,  
Youzen-kun."  
  
"Don't call me -"  
  
Fuugen kissed him.  
  
"Mmm."  
  
"See you tonight, Youzen-/kun/."  
  
================================================================  
KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU  
  
"... so, you see, I really don't know how to deal with problem  
pupils either, being saddled with one of my own," Taiitsu   
Shinjin put the laser down to adjust his protective goggles. "I   
didn't like leaving my baby like that, but he believes he is   
happy with his current situation - and well, as long as he's   
happy, I thought, why not?" [6]  
  
"... I see." Gyokutei Shinjin watched as Taiitsu resumed   
'improving' whatever gadget he was working on. "At least you can  
fix anything wrong with your pupil with your tools. I ... I have  
not the tools to mend a broken heart."  
  
"Piffle." Taiitsu gestured toward Gyokutei, and exclaimed an   
apology as the other sennin ducked quickly beneath the emitted   
laser beam. "Oops. Good thing you have excellent reflexes. Sorry  
about that - what were we talking about again?"  
  
Gyokutei sighed. Taiitsu was a good friend to confide to, an   
intelligent person to converse with, if a tad scatter-brained.   
  
"You were about to say something about Youzen, I think."  
  
"Youzen? No, I wasn't." Taiitsu was finally satisfied with his  
work. "Now I remember, I was going to say something about   
Fuugen."  
  
"... what about Fuugen-shitei?"  
  
"You're worried that the kid's going to hurt Youzen, right?"  
  
"Well, yes."  
  
"Trust my judgement on this, he won't." Taiitsu patted what   
looked to Gyokutei like nothing other than a mash of wires and  
metal protrusions. "You might think that I'm not a good judge of  
character - and it would be true - but I /know/ Fuugen."  
  
"It's impossible to know everything about anyone, Taiitsu."  
  
"I didn't say that I knew everything about Fuugen," the cobalt  
eyes were intent, a serious expression that Taiitsu usually wore   
when focused on a project. "But I do /know/ him.   
  
"Fuugen's the kind of person who would never break his word.   
From what you've just told me, sounds to me like he promised you   
that he wouldn't hurt Youzen."  
  
"I see."  
  
Taiitsu could have said more, but even he knew that those words  
were far from comforting to the mind of a worried parent.  
  
/Fuugen is also the kind of person who would never 'damage' what  
he could use. From what you have told me, it seems to me that he  
has some use in mind of Youzen.  
  
/I know Fuugen, because at a certain level, we are alike.   
  
/Like me, he would go to great lengths to 'improve' that which   
he could use. It may seem like that he is not doing Youzen any   
favours ... but he has Youzen's best interest at heart.  
  
/That is the Fuugen I know./  
  
"Taiitsu-shixiong, may I come in? If you are finished with it,  
I've come to pick up my Taikyokufuin."  
  
================================================================  
IN THE AIR  
  
Side-seated atop Koutenken, Youzen sniffed in disdain at the   
sleeping doushi. Did that slacker ever actually do ANY work at   
all? [7]  
  
/What does Fuugen Shinjin see in him?/  
  
For the past twenty years, he had never witnessed the doushi   
do one, singular activity that could be misconstrued as work.  
  
/Unless you count eating and sleeping .../  
  
Well, therein lies the difference between himself and that   
useless lump he had to call 'susuu.'  
  
/I might be called 'tenzai-doushi', but the title did NOT come   
without honest work./  
  
Secure in the knowledge of his superiority, morally or else,   
Youzen directed Koutenken on his way to Gyokukyo Kyu, the   
residence of Genshitenson-sama.  
  
================================================================  
~tbc~  
================================================================  
[1] Don't tell me that you two do this on a regular basis ...^^;  
[2] Shi doesn't wanna know either. *runs*  
[3] Fuugen: ...well, revenge is a dish best served cold, ne? ^_^  
[4] fermented bean curd = tofu milk = ¨§»G¨Å  
[5] It's a traditional oriental food - usually made with pork  
that's been marinated with a barbeque flavor, shredded   
into powder-like clumps, then fried for long-term   
storage. The vegetarian version is made with Soya beans.  
Both kinds are very good.  
[6] One word: Nataku.  
[7] Koutenken = a biological paopei of Youzen's. It takes the   
form of a large, furry white dog, and with high   
destructive power.  
================================================================  
Shin no Freetalk:  
  
THIS IS A LONG PART. - reminder to self as shi writes. ^O^;  
  
THIS WILL BE A LONG PART. - shi to self a LOT while shi writes  
  
.... it seems to be working.  
  
At 45K, it /is/ the 2nd biggest chapter so far.  
  
The first half is "Taikoubou's Revenge", and there shi had  
planned for Fuugen to give as good as he gets, but he claimed he   
hadn't the mood for it. Shi sez "Feh." -_-;  
  
The second half is "psychotic dialogue between Fuugen & Youzen"  
of which shi had a brief outline style DONE thorough parts 2-4  
but didn't get to use until now.  
  
Hmmm. dark mood is prevalent, and about to get darker when  
Gyokutei-shishou demands to know exactly WHAT Fuugen is up to.  
Stay tuned for the next part sometime past the 15th of October,  
2000. Shi's workload should be somewhat easier then. (ARRRGGGH   
but the midterms are only 2 weeks away then!)  
  
mail shi-chan at kichin@doushi.org with any comments! ^o^  
================================================================  
Sneak previews of what's going to happen next:  
  
Youzen has what he wants - or does he?  
Taikoubou gets his ass kicked. (aka the Houshin Keikaku begins!)  
... Gyokutei Shinjin has a long talk with one Fuugen Shinjin.  
  
[not necessarily in that order!]  
================================================================  
First Edition: September 30th, 2000 at 11:19 PM  
Last Revised: October 2st, 2000 at 11:44 AM  
================================================================  



	6. vi

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:  
All rights and privileges to Houshin Engi belong to Ryu   
Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters   
from HE are used without permission for the purpose of   
entertainment only. This work of fanfiction is not meant for   
commercial use. No infringements of rights are intended.  
In other words - please don't sue me, I need my   
allowance to buy HE merchandise and make you guys rich!  
  
****************************************************************  
Smiling Tears  
Part VI  
By Shioru Sutherlands (aka. Kotoshin)  
****************************************************************  
  
i can't say / i can't say the words right / i can't stay /  
i can't stay past tonight / i'm afraid /  
i'm afraid to give forever away /   
i'm afraid i can't say i will stay / since i've met you -   
learned the soul behind those eyes / since i've known you -   
my, how fast time does go by /  
i broke your walls once i heard your lies /  
you lent me strength to see beyond the sky /  
we gave the same dream wings of hope to fly /  
  
... but i just can't seem to say the words right.  
  
i can't say / i can't say the words right / i can't stay /  
i can't stay past tonight / i'm afraid /   
i'm afraid to leave and tell you goodbye /   
i'm afraid i can't say i will stay / you're the place -   
i'll be missing on my own / you're the place -   
i'll return to and call home / i can't make promises tonight /   
because i'm gone with first sunlight /  
but i'll be back to say the words right /  
  
... i will come back to say the words right.  
  
- "the right words"  
-- Taikoubou - Fuugen Shinjin  
  
================================================================  
OUTSIDE   
  
He knew he was a wicked creature ... a wicked, wicked creature.   
Sometimes, his own capacity for mischief surprised even himself.   
  
/Well, being with a certain person was very ... educational, in  
this area./  
  
He didn't know when he had become the person he is, but when he   
realized the kind of person he /was/, this was ...   
  
/Me, myself and I./  
  
... himself.  
  
The sennin who was a peace-loving, gentle soul. An innocent   
dreamer who believed in compromise and forgiveness. A sweet   
young man who disliked violence, bloodshed, and conflicts.   
  
An angel with doe-soft eyes of violet-blue, and an ever-present,  
brilliant smile. An eternal optimist who genuinely /believed/   
that if everyone made the effort to understand one another, they   
would get along.  
  
At least, that was the person most of the world saw.  
  
He knew what others said of him, and he maintained the false   
image they believed in. It wasn't even particularly hard to   
accomplish the feat, for that /was/ him. That /was/ the person   
he had once been. Past tense, the person he was.  
  
He was no longer that person.  
He was no longer that innocent soul - the simple creature he   
once was no longer existed. Or rather, existed only as the mask   
he wore. That simple creature existed only as the mask he lived.  
  
The reality beneath the mask was not only that simple creature.  
The reality beneath the mask was more than that simple creature.  
... much, much more.  
  
It was a relief to know that some people did not take things at   
face value. That some knew the mask for what it was, that some  
could see beneath the mask. /His/ mask.  
  
/Thank you, Taiitsu-shixiong./  
  
Listening to the conversation echoing inside Taiitsu Shinjin's   
spacious lab, Fuugen Shinjin waited for a suitable entrance.  
  
================================================================  
IN THE AIR  
  
He was nearing the Gyokukyo Kyu, the residence of Genshitenson.  
Sitting sideways atop Kotenkun, Youzen found himself in a very   
good mood, as he contemplated the breath-taking scenary of   
Konron and the pleasant subject of ...  
  
/... Fuugen Shinjin./  
  
No, not Fuugen Shinjin. Not Fuugen Shinjin to him. Not anymore.  
Never Fuugen Shinjin, or 'susuu' to him.  
  
/... Fuugen./  
  
Fuugen had accepted him.  
  
"Fuugen."  
  
The name was beautiful, the combination of vowels of consonants  
that rolled easily, musically off the tip of his tongue.  
  
/... MY Fuugen./  
  
He was the best - he had always been the best - he IS the best.  
There was no one who was better than him.   
  
//... can you be so certain?//  
  
He had to admit that he was not perfect. But without a doubt, he  
was the closest thing to perfection. While there WERE others who  
surpassed him in areas where they excelled, he was still the   
best - overall.  
  
/Anything ANYONE can do, I can do better./  
  
That was where /he/ excelled. Once he had seen the skill that  
another was capable of, he could learn that same specialized   
skill, master and perfect and make it his own.  
  
/... he will never give Taikoubou-susuu a second thought again./  
  
Youzen laughed out loud, startling himself with the sound of   
his own laughter. It had been a long time since he laughed. It  
had been so long, he couldn't remember the last time he laughed.  
  
/... Fuugen./  
  
Fuugen was his. /His/ Fuugen.   
  
/... MINE./  
  
He laughed again at the realization. The wind laughed with him,  
brushing the locks of deep-blue hair back from his face, pulling   
the the long strands away in a sensual, carefree dance.  
  
Life was wonderful, and about to get better.  
  
================================================================  
KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU  
  
"Taiitsu-shixiong, may I come in?"   
  
There was the slightly embarrassed silence that always followed   
a private conversation after the entrance of the subject matter   
of that conversation.  
  
"If you are finished with it, I've come to pick up my   
Taikyokufuin."   
  
"Oh, hi, Fuugen!" Taiitsu chirped brightly, waving a hand.  
  
It was the hand that held the laser.  
  
"Taiitsu-shixiong!"  
  
"TAIITSU!"  
  
"OOPS - Watch out!"  
  
Both Fuugen and Gyokutei ducked as Taiitsu shot the lighting  
fixture down.  
  
*CRASH*  
  
================================================================  
IN THE AIR  
  
"Good morning, Hakutsuru Douji." Youzen smiled at the white   
crane flying towards him.  
  
"I heard that Genshitenson-sama is looking for me ... would you   
mind announcing me in?"  
  
Nothing could spoil his good mood.  
  
"Good morning, Youzen." The youkai-doushi changed the beat of   
wings so that he flew side by side of Kotenken. "We have been   
waiting for you (for quite some time now, if I may add). His   
Exaltedness - Genshitenson-sama - seems to have an important   
assignment for you."  
  
//... nothing?//  
  
"Assignment ..." Youzen did not like /that/ particular choice of   
words.   
  
While the tenzai-doushi was eager to accept the Houshin Keikaku,   
he disliked being told to. Especially in a manner which implied   
he had no choice in the matter.  
  
================================================================  
KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU  
  
"... *cough cough* ... is *COUGH* everyone alright?"  
  
Amidst the falling cloud of debris, the three sennin stood up,  
dusting themselves off and inquiring after each other's welfare.  
  
"... *cough* ... I'm fine, Taiitsu-shixiong. What about you and  
Gyokutei-shixiong?"  
  
"I'm alright ... *COUGH COUGH COUGH* ..." Gyokutei somehow   
managed to convey his brand of dry humour despite coughing fits.   
"... but my dignity *cough* isn't."  
  
"... *cough* ... same here." Taiitsu said mournfully. "... my  
*cough cough* ... hair, and I /just/ washed and rinsed it   
yesterday for the /longest/ time to bring out that *COUGH COUGH*   
particular shine ..."  
  
Trust the attention-loving sennin to mind his appearances at a   
time like this. There was the sound of a smothered laugh from  
Fuugen, and a low groan from Gyokutei.  
  
"... *cough* ... Taiitsu-shixiong," Coughing and wiping the dust  
from watering eyes, Fuugen chided. "You really must remember what  
you're holding before gesturing like that."  
  
"... *cough* ... *cough* ... I must agree, Taiitsu." Gyokutei  
spat little pebbles and stone dust from his mouth. "That was   
/not/ the first time."  
  
"Gomen nasai, gomen nasai yo~~" Taiitsu was as attentive as a   
dejected puppy which had just misbehaved, inadverently. "I'm so  
sorry ... I'll try to remember next time. Gomen da yo~ (_)"  
  
"It didn't damage anything in the lab," Fuugen surveyed the   
disaster zone, searching for his Taikyokufuin. " ... or did it?"  
  
"AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH~~~!!!" With a shriek that could have woken   
the dead, Taiitsu threw the laser aside, scrambling madly about.  
"My babies! My projects! My paopei~~!!!"  
  
"Calm down, TAIITSU!" Gyokutei caught ahold of the laser before   
it could do any more damage. "You're just making the situation   
worse."  
  
"Gyokutei-shixiong is right." Fuugen agreed. "Why don't we go   
outside, and wait for the dust to settle a bit before restoring   
the lab?"  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUKYO KYU  
  
"Genshitenson-sama," Hakutsuru Douji fluttered down the wide  
stone halls of Gyokukyo Kyu ahead of him. "The doushi, Youzen,   
is here."  
  
"Youzen ..."   
  
Seated, the leader of Konronsan raised his eyebrows slowly, to   
regard the young doushi kneeling before him. Meetings with   
Youzen were always terse, since he was one of the few who knew   
Youzen's true identity ...  
  
"You still call yourself a doushi ..." the eldest one began,   
"... but you already have the right, and the ability to rank   
among the sennin."  
  
... Genshitenson was well aware of that fact that Youzen did   
not trust him. Youzen did not trust anyone, with the possible   
exception of Gyokutei Shinjin, his teacher.  
  
"Why do you refrain from taking the exam for the sennin   
license? Why do you still call yourself a doushi?" [1]  
  
"I know I will qualify as a sennin should I choose to take the  
exam." Youzen's voice was calm. "I choose not to do so,   
because I choose not to declare myself sennin."   
  
Calm ... and guarded. Genshitenson knew what he was only by   
virtue of association - the leader of Konronsan was part of the   
reason that he stood here today, a member of the Konron sendou  
and the student of Gyokutei Shinjin.  
  
"According to the laws of the Senkai, a sennin must have at   
least one pupil."  
  
Genshitenson had been the one who arranged for Gyokutei to be   
his mentor. While the tenzai-doushi supposed that he should have  
appreciated that fact, he could not find it in him to like, much   
less /trust/ the elder sennin.  
  
/I trust you not, for you are a wily old fox who does NOTHING  
without reason./  
  
"If I become one of the sennin - if I refer to myself as a   
sennin, I must therefore take on a student."  
  
Youzen let his words fall, one by one, like dropping stones into   
a pool of still water.  
  
/The only reason I receive preferential treatment is because of  
my skills - my skills, and WHO I am. You have uses for me, as a  
carpenter has uses for his tools - some of those 'uses' this   
'tool' has no care to./  
  
"Frankly, I would rather use the spare time to perfect my own   
skills - rather than waste it on teaching a mere beginner."  
  
Genshitenson gazed at the tenzai-doushi thoroughout the entire  
explanation. Finally, he let out a long, windy sigh.  
  
"In the Senkai, you are a genius whose power is even greater   
than that produced by powerful paopei ... " Genshitenson knew   
Youzen's true reason for choosing to remain a doushi. "Even so,   
you never cease to push yourself to the utmost in training ...  
  
Genshitenson knew what Youzen's true reason was: ... fear.   
  
Youzen was afraid. Afraid to let anyone come as close to him as   
was required in the relationship of master and disciple, afraid   
of revealing himself - revealing what he was - afraid of   
rejection should his true identity be known.  
  
/... and his fear is not without cause./  
  
Eventually, the truth would have to come out. But not now.  
  
"... nevermind. The matter for which I summoned you here today   
for, is something else entirely."  
  
"What is it?"   
  
Hiding anticipation, Youzen waited for the answer he knew.  
  
================================================================  
KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU  
  
/... how did I get drafted into this chore?/  
  
Gyokutei Shinjin wondered, as he carried several pieces of   
heavy 'important equipment' to destinations given by Taiitsu   
Shinjin's specific directions.  
  
"No, no, no!" Taiitsu stamped his foot, frazzled. "Don't hold it  
like that - yes, that's right, like that. That's it. A little   
more to the right - oops, a bit more to the left - back a bit -  
yeah, perfect."  
  
Very specific directions.  
  
"Taiitsu-shixiong," Having found Taikyokufuin, Fuugen was busy   
reassembling the molecules of 'sensitive apparatus' to their   
former states. "Was the original structure of the proton-  
antiproton collider Type A5-JQ23 or B7-LS21?"   
  
"Uh - the B7." Taiitsu frowned, peering at the schematics   
diagrams Fuugen had called up on the Taikyokufuin. "We're lucky   
that the rocks didn't crack open the interior of the particle   
accelerator ... only the outer casing is damaged."  
  
The 'proton-antiproton collider', or 'particle accelerator',   
whatever it was that the two sennin were busy tinkering with -   
looked to Gyokutei like nothing more than a huge metal cylinder   
with legs, lying on its side.   
  
"... didn't that happen the last time?"  
  
Fuugen referred to the time when Taiitsu's entire cave collapsed  
in on itself, burying the sennin alive. It had taken the Konron   
sendou three days to realize Taiitsu Shinjin was missing (and   
then, only because Taiitsu had never skipped teaching HIS   
lectures more than two days in a row), and another two to dig   
the accident-prone sennin out.   
  
During the month's time Fuugen had spent in rebuilding Taiitu's   
residence, Konron's residents had to put up with the scientist-  
sennin in the public laboratories - a most hapazard period of   
time indeed, especially for the doushi who had to share those  
labs with him.  
  
"Ehehehh...." Taiitsu laughed, embarrassed. "Don't worry,   
Fuugen, you worked so hard in building this lab of mine - and   
such a GOOD lab it is too! I'll take VERY good care of it. I   
promise."  
  
"You'd better, shixiong." Fuugen chuckled, good-naturedly. "I'll  
actually charge you a fee the next time."  
  
"OUCH. Be nice to your shixiong, Fuugen-/shitei/!"  
  
Ah, yes, he remembered.   
  
Gyokutei watched the other two sennin exchange terms he had  
headaches just thinking about. The reason he stayed was because  
of Fuugen.  
  
He stayed for an excuse to talk to Fuugen.  
  
/Perhaps you're right, Taiitsu./  
  
He could trust the scientist-sennin with his life.  
  
/... but I still must know for myself./  
  
He could not trust Youzen's life to anyone other than himself.  
  
================================================================  
GYOKUKYO KYU  
  
He could not believe the words he heard.  
  
"I have a student ... my first ranking pupil: Taikoubou. I have  
need of your strength in the execution of a very important  
project."  
  
/How can this be?/  
  
Youzen was stunned.  
  
/I am NOT the person chosen to execute the Houshin Keikaku?!/  
  
The tenzai-doushi did not know how he managed to contain the   
rage that burst inside him, the rage that seethed and threatened  
to burn him open. Somehow, he managed. Somehow.  
  
/... why? What does he have that I do not?/  
  
"... you mean ... the Houshin Keikaku?"  
  
"So ... you already know of it."  
  
"....."  
  
Youzen did not speak.   
  
It was the first time he was NOT the first choice.  
It was the first time he had been thought less than the best.   
It was the first time he had ever been considered second-best.  
  
Youzen found that a very difficult fact to believe in, much  
less accept.  
  
/... why? What does HE have that I have not?/  
  
It was the first time the tenzai-doushi had doubts that he might   
NOT be the best.  
  
"Genshitenson-sama, forgive me for interrupting ..." Hakutsuru   
spoke up in his defense. "...but, isn't it unfair to Youzen, for   
him to work UNDER Taikoubou-susuu?"  
  
"Hakutsuru, do you think that Youzen's ability is greater than   
that of Taikoubou's?"  
  
"Everyone thinks so!"  
  
/Not EVERYONE think so./   
  
Youzen knew at least two people who didn't. The second was   
Genshitenson-sama, while the first ...  
  
/... why? Why? WHY?/  
  
"It's a terrible mistake to make susuu Youzen's superior!"  
  
/... I'll show them./  
  
The thought came, unbidden.  
  
/I'll show them ALL./  
  
"Hakutsuru, that's enough." His voice was so cold, that the  
white crane clacked its beak shut in surprise. "I accept this  
assignment.  
  
"But - only under one condition."  
  
He would prove it. He would prove it to them. He would prove  
to everyone that he was the most suitable person - the only  
person meant to carry out the Houshin Project.  
  
"... one condition?"  
  
"I do not know what that doushi - that doushi named Taikoubou   
is capable of." Purple eyes gazed out the open halls of Gyokukyo   
Kyu, into the misty clouds beyond.   
  
Deep purple eyes settled, finally, on the back of a meditiating  
figure atop a slender column of rocks.  
  
"I would like to see for myself - if he has the right and   
ability to be considered my superior."  
  
================================================================  
KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU  
  
Fuugen breathed a sigh of relief as last displaced molecule was  
fitted back into place.  
  
"Thank you so much~" Taiitsu hugged the younger sennin in   
gratitude. "I could kiss you both for your help."  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks." Gyokutei sagged in the corner of the   
bench he sat on, resting elbows on a cleared lab top, chin   
cupped in both hands. Taiitsu had picked on him as being most of   
the manual labor, since he was NOT proficient in the why and how   
of science.  
  
"I second that." Fuugen smiled.  
  
"You know," Taiitsu regarded Fuugen thoughtfully. "If you were  
a woman, I'd marry you just to have all the requirements of  
living solved."  
  
/... WHAT?!/  
  
"Think about it - you're organized, you're an excellent cook -  
and you understand what I talk about -" Taiitsu sighed. "You   
would have made a good wife."  
  
Gyokutei had to clutch at the counter to keep himself from  
falling over.  
  
"Taiitsu-shixiong, I had provided those services freely for a   
lazy, unproductive and non-paying tenant who eats the shares of   
any three sendou." Fuugen only laughed. "A tenant whom I just   
evicted today. I am in no hurry to repeat the experience."  
  
"WHAT?!" Taiitsu stared at Fuugen. "You - you kicked Taikoubou  
out?"  
  
"... if you put it that way, yes."  
  
================================================================  
IN THE AIR - (again)  
  
He did not want to go anywhere in particular. Especially not   
where there were other ... people.  
  
/Impossible./  
  
Sensing his inner turmoil, Kotenken took a roundabout path.   
Rather than heading straight home - home, to Gyokuizumisan,   
Kinkasumi Dou - Kotenkun headed toward the outskirts of the   
various sub-peaks orbiting about Koronsan main.   
  
/It's not possible./  
  
He rushed past peaks, the green of foliage and brown of rock  
blurs of colour as Kotenkun made a circular orbit about one of   
the uninhabited peaks of the mountain range.  
  
/IMPOSSIBLE./  
  
The wind rushed by him, tearing sound away from hearing, filling  
his ears with its cries as he urged his paopei-beast onwards,   
faster, faster.   
  
/He can't possibly be BETTER than I am./  
  
As if merely by increasing speed, he could outrun demons ...  
  
/He can't. He can't be. He CAN'T./  
  
... leave his personal demon behind.  
  
"Uaahh-!" Youzen strangled his own vocalized frustration. "No.  
... it's not possible. It just ... isn't."  
  
//... is it? Is it really impossible?//  
  
Wasn't that what he once thought of Fuugen?  
Didn't he think the SAME of Fuugen, until the sennin proved   
otherwise?  
  
/He can't. I can best him, I KNOW I can./  
  
... Fuugen had not even been TRYING to prove himself, when the   
sennin pulled that stunt with the water twenty years ago. Fuugen   
had only been being ... himself. Fuugen Shinjin. Fuugen.  
  
/Fuugen .../  
  
================================================================  
KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU  
  
"I can't BELIEVE you kicked Taikoubou out." Taiitsu Shinjin   
repeated again, in disbelief.  
  
/... Taikoubou? Why does that name sound familiar ...?/  
  
Gyokutei frowned. If he remembered correctly, Fuugen had only   
a single student, like himself.  
  
/The child's name should be Mokutaku .../  
  
"I mean, the two of you are like, practically TWINS. Joined at  
the hip. /INSEPARABLE/ ever since you both enrolled under   
G-sama's tutelage sixty years ago!"  
  
/... How could I have forgotten? (|||||bbbb)/  
  
================================================================  
Ah. Now the name registered. Currently the top-ranking pupil of  
Genshitenson, Taikoubou held the dubious distinction of being   
the MOST troublesome doushi numbered among Genshitenson's   
students in a thousand years. Well did Gyokutei recall the prank   
Taikoubou pulled at Fuugen's initiation ceremony as a member of   
the Konron Jyu Ni Sen.  
  
/I had not known the two of them to be this close .../  
  
Gyokutei looked carefully at Fuugen, as if he could read the   
younger sennin's thoughts by scrutinizing his appearance.  
  
"People change, Taiitsu-shixiong."  
  
Now THAT was an evasion, if Taiitsu had ever heard one.  
  
"... what did he do this time?" Cobalt-blue eyes blinked. "You  
are the most tolerant and forgiving soul I know - he must have  
DONE something."  
  
"Something like that." Fuugen only smiled.  
  
"Ach, whatever." Taiitsu threw up his hands, and puttered away.  
"If I pry further, I'd only sound more the nosy old aunt.   
Whatever happened between the two of you, what /is/ between the   
two of you should remain private unless you wish otherwise ..."  
  
/... whatever is between the two of them?/  
  
Gyokutei bit back his surprise. Were Fuugen and Taikoubou merely  
best friends, or ...   
  
"I might have overreacted a little, but it was necessary, in my  
humble opinion." Fuugen replied. "Did you not know that Bou-chan  
was the one chosen to execute the Houshin Project?"  
  
/... Taikoubou ... the executor of the Houshin Project?!/  
  
Gyokutei Shinjin pressed his lips tightly together. If it had   
come as a shock to him, it would have been even more of a shock   
to Youzen.   
  
How? Why? What was Genshitenson-sama thinking?  
  
/... come to think of it, Fuugen never once said that Youzen  
was to be the executor, only that Youzen would play a "major  
role" in the Houshin Keikaku .../  
  
He had to look into the matter. And he had no doubt that he   
would find most of the answers from Fuugen.  
  
"NOW I see." Taiitsu nodded. "If you didn't kick him out, given  
his attitude, he might never leave."  
  
"Something of the sort." Fuugen sighed. "I /have/ spoiled him to  
his creature comforts ... and Bou-chan being the most suitable  
person to carry out the Project - I thought it best."  
  
"Ach," Taiitsu scoffed. "Give Taikoubou some credit. He might  
be irresponsible when it comes to small things, but when it   
comes to the REALLY important things ..."  
  
"Taiitsu-shixiong." Fuugen shook his head. "I didn't do it for   
Bou-chan's sake."  
  
What did Fuugen mean by that? Gyokutei and Taiitsu looked at  
the younger sennin, whose tousled forelocks hid the expression  
of blue-violet eyes.  
  
"... I did it for my own."  
  
/... are Fuugen and Taikoubou MORE than best friends?/  
  
Gyokutei knew that he would have a LONG talk with Fuugen, as  
soon as possible.  
  
================================================================  
A NAMELESS PEAK ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF KONRON  
  
Kotenken had stopped, come to land atop a forested peak. He   
got off the shaggy beast, patting the white dog absent-mindedly   
on the head before willing his paopei into storage mode.  
  
"I'm just trying to fool myself, aren't I?" Youzen said, to no   
one in particular. "'Tenzai-doushi' indeed. Hah."  
  
/... 'tenzai-doushi' ... a 'tenzai-doushi' who did not even RATE  
against that - THAT -/  
  
He could not bear it. There HAD been truth to Fuugen's words.  
  
//... he has something that no one else has.//  
  
//... what does he have that I have not?//  
  
"What does he have?" Youzen could not understand. "What is so  
exceptional about him?"  
  
He did not understand - was it because he did not want to?   
  
What it because he didn't even want to admit the mere   
possibility - the possibility of someone else being BETTER than   
himself? Was it because if he did, he would have to admit that   
he was less than the best - less than the person he considered   
to be "no competition at all"?  
  
//Something that I cannot explain to you - yet.//  
  
Why was he so afraid?   
No, he wasn't afraid. He was only ... only uncertain. Just a bit   
shaken. It wasn't like him - not like himself at all, to be so   
easily disturbed, so unsure of himself.  
  
//You did not answer my question.//  
  
Better than anyone else, Youzen KNEW how insecure he really was.  
He had to be better than anyone else - he must be, else there  
would be no point to his existence. By proving himself the best,  
he proved his own worth not just to himself, but to everyone  
else. Remaining the best was his way of justifying himself in   
his own eyes.  
  
//... I could not answer in a way that you would understand.//  
  
Fuugen had promised him the truth. The sennin did not lie.   
Perhaps Fuugen had anticipated his reaction. Perhaps, Fuugen had   
known his disbelief. Perhaps that was why Fuugen refused to tell   
him all of the truth.  
  
"... what am I going to do?"  
  
================================================================  
OUTSIDE KENGENSAN, KINKOU DOU  
  
"What is Taikoubou to you, Fuugen-shitei?"  
  
Direct, the question asked as soon as Taiitsu had gone back   
inside, out of hearing.  
  
"......." Fuugen returned his gaze without the quaver of guilt.  
  
"Fuugen-shitei ... what are you going to do?"  
  
They both knew what the real question was.  
  
//Are you going to hurt Youzen, Fuugen?//  
  
"Gyokutei-shixiong." Fuugen spoke, words soft sighs as gentle as   
the wind. "As I have told you, I have no intention of hurting   
Youzen-kun. Ever."  
  
Gyokutei looked at Fuugen sharply.  
  
"Taikoubou is your ... lover, is he not?" The elder sennin had  
seen much, in his days as a mortal. "It would not be fair ... to  
him, at least."  
  
"Gyokutei-shixiong ..." Smiling, there was a faint hint of   
wistfulness in the expression. "... you are a very perceptive   
man."  
  
/I will kill you, if you dare hurt Youzen./  
  
"Then ..."  
  
While uncommon, love between those of the same gender was not   
unheard of. While loving one of the same gender was not his ...   
preference, Gyokutei harboured no prejudice who did.   
  
/If you are not faithful to Taikoubou, how can I expect you to   
be faithful to Youzen?/  
  
What Gyokutei could not forgive was infidelity.  
  
"Gyokutei-shixiong." Fuugen looked at him, unsmiling. "You are  
the person who knows Youzen-kun best. Tell me, what would it  
do to him, if I had refused him outright?"  
  
"... what would refusal do to Youzen?" His eyes widened,   
comprehending.  
  
"He has never been refused before, has he?" Fuugen sat down on  
a nearby rock, motioning for Gyokutei to sit as well. "He has   
never been anything less than the best, the center of attention,  
the genius who always got what he wanted. You know, better than  
anyone, what rejection would do to someone as proud as him."  
  
/... it would have broken Youzen's heart./  
  
"You know, for you are the only person Youzen permits past that  
perfect facade of his - the person who knows him - all his  
faults, his weaknesses, the fraility of his soul. His heart is   
a fragile thing -"  
  
/If you know where to cut the thread - which thread to cut -/  
  
"- as fragile as a spun crystalline web of glass. If you cut   
the right thread, it will shatter. Come apart in pieces."  
  
Falling, fallen. Breaking, broken. Shards. Shards and pieces.   
A million shards of glass. Fuugen's words grated on Gyokutei's  
ears, falling like shards of broken glass.  
  
"I could not do that to him, even if I did not love him."  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
Standing before the smooth wooden doors, he swallowed, ready for   
confrontation. He straightened his back, attempting to instill  
a more confident manner into his posture, into himself.   
  
No, he wasn't frightened.  
  
He wasn't frightened, exactly. He wasn't frightened at all,   
really. No, REALLY. He was only ... nervous.   
  
/Yeah, right. (||||||bbb)/  
  
He couldn't even convince himself that he wasn't. And of course,  
knowing /him/ - knowing how the other knew him better than   
himself -  
  
/... he'd be able to smell it a mile away./  
  
The doors had never seemed SO intimidating, so heavy and thick  
and unwelcoming. Resting a gloved hand on the door, he almost   
fell over in surprise as the door swung inwards.   
  
/... what the?/  
  
Picking himself up, he stared. He'd pushed the door open - it   
wasn't barred or even shut. How odd. He'd have thought that the   
door would have been closed, for him. To him.  
  
Still, that was one complication out of the way.  
  
/Well, better get it over with then./  
  
Squaring his shoulders, he turned, to shut the doors behind him.   
  
"Taikoubou-susuu?"   
  
Turning around, he saw the last person he expected to see.  
  
"Taikoubou-susuu." Mokutaku blinked, holding a large handbasket,  
woven of strips of cured bamboo. "You shouldn't be here."  
  
"Shhhh." He hissed. "You trying to let Fuugen know that I'm  
here?"  
  
"But ..." Mokutaku spread his hands, helplessly. "I think   
shishou is still mad at you. You - er, well, I don't think   
it would be a good idea -"  
  
"That's what I'm here for," he interrupts, hoping to shush the  
doushi. "I know I've been an ass, so I'm here to apologize.   
  
"See, I'll be leaving the Senninkai soon. And - well, you   
know that your shishou and I are best friends. I don't want  
us to part like this ..."  
  
"I see," Mokutaku nodded. "It's like when Nii-sama and I argued.  
It was before shishou took me on as a student, and Nii-sama   
was coming here to be taught by Monjyu-susuu. You want to say  
you're sorry because you know you won't see him for a long, long  
time, ne?"  
  
"Yeah, like that." Oh, if the kid only knew.  
  
"I'll pretend I haven't seen you on my way out." The doushi   
had a finger hovering over the lip in a 'hush-hush' position,  
and winked. "Shishou's in the kitchen making supper.  
  
Keh - the cheek! If he didn't know better, he'd swear that the   
kid was getting as opportunistic and manipulative as a certain   
smiling sennin among his acquaintance ...  
  
"Good luck, susuu-chan."  
  
"Thanks, I'll need it."  
  
/Wait a minute ...!/  
  
"Mokutaku, I didn't need to be called by that nickname!"  
  
/This kid IS getting too MUCH like a "certain smiling sennin"./  
  
"... and where do you think you're going?"   
  
"Shishou gave me a shopping list." Mokutaku grinned. "We're out   
of some staples like flour and sugar, so I'll be going down to   
the Ninkai for supplies."   
  
/... out of staples? ... like sugar? ... uh-oh./   
  
Fuugen must STILL be angry at him.  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
Watching the back of the sennin working at the stove, Taikoubou   
hesitated before clearing his throat, self-consiously.  
  
"Yo, Fuugen."  
  
"... Bou-chan?" The mop of tousled blue hair did not turn. "It's  
usually customary for /visitors/ to knock before coming into a  
room."  
  
"... er ... are you ... um ... do you have time to talk now?"  
  
"I always have time for you," Wiping hands on a clean cloth to   
the side, the owner of blue-violet eyes looked back at him.   
  
/He isn't going to make this easy./  
  
"... Bou-chan."   
  
/Yep, he's STILL angry./  
  
"I ... well," He shifted uncomfortably, moving the weight from  
one foot to the other. "I just wanted to apologize."   
  
"Whatever for?" Fuugen's smile looked puzzled.   
  
"... you're still mad, aren't you?"  
  
"No. I'm not mad." Smiling, Fuugen walked toward him.  
  
"... I'm sorry. Fuugen. I'm really really REALLY sorry." Heart   
in his mouth, Taikoubou tried not to move back from the smiling,  
approaching sennin. "Will you please forgive me?"   
  
"There's nothing to forgive, Bou-chan." Hands cupped his   
face, and a light kiss was placed on his cheek.  
  
"... Fuugen, you ARE still mad at me."   
  
He knew the other too well.  
  
"Here."   
  
Reaching into a pocket on the inside of his jacket, he thrusted   
a small box into Fuugen's hands.  
  
"... what's this?" Fuugen looked at the small gift-wrapped box  
curiously.   
  
"I was hoping to give you this ..." He was burning, his cheeks  
felt that hot. " ... I was /going/ to give you this next month.   
It /was/ going to be our 30th anniversary ... together, you   
know."  
  
Taikoubou was very careful to not look at Fuugen.  
  
"Oh?" Fuugen was surprised. Bou-chan must have been planning  
this for a long time ...  
  
He pulled the string loose, fingers slowly pushing aside the   
textured and colored paper, careful not to tear it. One never   
knew when extra wrapping paper may come in handy.   
  
A lifetime's habit of thriftiness was hard to break.  
  
"I was trying for a pair, but this was the only stone I found  
like this. And since I won't be here ..."  
  
Inside the box rested a single earring. The kind that was a   
smooth, round stone held in a simple pin setting.  
  
"Do you like it?"  
  
A stone the vivid colour of burning emerald. Living emerald ...   
  
No, not emerald, for as Fuugen took it out of the box, the   
slight change in the angle of light transmuted the brilliant   
emerald to a deep, aquamarine jade.  
  
Startled, Fuugen almost dropped the earring, altering the angle  
of light refraction yet again.   
  
A blazingly pale turquoise - the colour of running waters - was   
the result, followed smoothly by a bright sapphire of the center   
of a fierce forge fire, and finally, a soft, hazy blue-violet -   
an amethyst jewel that was the stuff of dreams.  
  
"... the colours of our eyes ..." Those were the first words   
Fuugen could find, after a long search.   
  
Deceptively simple, the gift. The gift was simple, but he could   
tell what it meant. He could tell that Bou-chan had made the   
gift with his own hands, polished the stone until it shone,   
worked the metal of pin and clasp until it was a perfect fit.  
  
"Well, yeah." Taikoubou looked away, embarrassed. "I found this  
by accident - kicking little pebbles around - when I skipped   
lecture a couple years back. Figured it would be perfect as a   
set of earrings, but couldn't find another like it. Weird."  
  
"Bou-chan." Fuugen smiled. "I only have /one/ pierced ear." [2]  
  
"Not my fault your hair's so messy that it always covers your   
ears." Taikoubou's face twitched. "I couldn't tell."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"... Okay, so I wanted to be on the safe side. (|||bb)"  
  
"Thank you, Bou-chan." Fuugen took off the small gold hoop he   
usually wore. "Put it on for me?"  
  
"Lemme take my gloves off first."   
  
Bending over Fuugen, he pushed the wild locks of azure aside  
to reveal the left ear.  
  
"... wrong side, Bou-chan."   
  
Someone found it very amusing.  
  
"Forgive me for not knowing." He snaps back, fumbling fingers   
clumsily sliding the pin through.  
  
After a brief scuffle, the vibrant speck of emerald-shifting-to  
amethyst gleamed, nestled snugly between locks of heaven's blue.  
  
"How does it look on me?"   
  
Fuugen was fishing for compliments.  
  
"... it makes me want to ..." Covering his mouth with a hand,  
pretending to consider the smiling sennin, Taikoubou hid the   
smirk.  
  
"... makes you want to?" The sennin leaned close, trying to  
catch the softly spoken words.  
  
After all, he still haven't paid Fuugen back for chaining  
him to the bed AND then evicting him this morning.  
  
"... it makes me want to kiss you."   
  
"...!!...mmmmm. Mmmmm-mmmh."  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
Taikoubou had pushed Fuugen over the kitchen table, and the   
sennin could not resist - for fear of knocking over the various   
ingredients and kitchen utensils used for the meal currently in  
the progress of preparation.  
  
"... Bou-chan, you're playing dirty."  
  
"... and you don't?"  
  
"... well-mmmn! Mmm~~mmm."  
  
Red-faced, Mokutaku ducked out of the kitchen. And to think that  
he had been /worried/ about those two ...  
  
Well, he HAD been worried, and he HAD slipped in after susuu to   
make sure that Fuugen-shishou and Taikoubou-susuu were making   
peace with one another. Only to find shishou and susuu-chan a   
little ... um ...   
  
... a little TOO at peace with one another.  
  
"What were you saying again?"  
  
"... !!! ... Bou-chan, now is not the time nor place to - mmm!"  
  
He had no idea. He had NO idea that shishou and susuu were ...  
  
/... lovers?/  
  
That scene he just saw - that KISS he just witnessed - that -  
  
/They're more than friends, THAT'S for certain./  
  
That had NOT been a 'friendly' or 'chaste' kiss. If it was   
anything, it was utterly uninhibited. Yet, the fevernt intensity   
of the action had not been mere 'lust'. It was more than simple   
'passion' or 'sex'.   
  
It was not spontaneous. It was something that - something that   
hadn't disgusted him at all, now that he thought about it. There   
was something so /pure/, so /right/ about the scene he'd just   
witnessed that the sameness of gender hadn't mattered to him.   
  
It was something very special, something full of joy, something  
enduring that asked for much and gave even more in return. It   
was something that would make people do anything to possess.  
  
Dimly, Mokutaku wondered if it was the same thing that had  
brought his parents together, the force that had engendered him  
and his Nii-sama.   
  
Outside, the doushi took a deep breath of the cool, pure   
Senninkai air. Staring up at the sky, wondering if he would ever   
find out.  
  
It had completely involved the two ... participants. Body, mind   
and soul.  
  
/... was that love?/  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
Short, quick, and sweet.  
  
Sometimes, the fulfillment of intimacy was best expressed in the  
form of a quick but thorough cuddle. [3]  
  
"... if this happens every time I am angry," Fuugen mused, one   
hand on the back of Taikoubou's neck, doing a little finger-  
walking. "Perhaps I should be angry at you more often."   
  
"If you were often angry at me," Taikoubou retorted, resting his   
chin on the sennin's collarbone. "It wouldn't happen."  
  
They grinned at each other, in perfect accord.  
  
"I should thank you for such a lovely present ..."  
  
Fuugen's fingers were doing a bit more walking than necessary.  
  
"... Fuugen, what's that smell?" Taikoubou seized the   
distraction quickly, pushing himself off of Fuugen on the   
kitchen table.   
  
"My yam porridge!" Fuugen hurried over to the stove to rescue  
the overflowing pot and its contents.   
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU - OUTSIDE THE BACK DOOR  
  
/At least they're ... happy./  
  
Hearing the laughter in the kitchen, Mokutaku tried not to   
blush. He'd been shishou's student ever since he was a child of   
seven. While he remembered his parents, visiting them as often   
as his studies allowed - he could not deny that it was shishou   
who was the closest person to him.   
  
It was shishou who who taught him the knowledge of the Immotals.   
It was shishou who helped him when he struggled to master that   
knowledge.   
  
It was shishou who smiled and encouraged him when he despaired.   
It was shishou who spent time with him, listening to him - all   
his joy at learning, all the answers he wanted to know, all the   
things he wanted to do - all the dreams he wanted to come true.  
  
It was shishou who was there, when he needed someone.   
  
Fuugen-shishou had always been the one who was /there/, for him.  
Fuugen-shishou, who was not merely his teacher, but almost like   
both a mother and a father at the same time.  
  
He giggled, struck by a sudden image of Mama-shishou and   
Papa-susuu.  
  
/Well, Taikoubou-susuu is a lot like a - *snicker* - "husband"   
with the reins of power held by the "wife" .../  
  
Fingers brushed against the smoothness of cured bamboo.   
  
/... I nearly forgot!/  
  
Mokutaku stared at the empty basket in dismay.   
  
/I must hurry, or I won't be back in time with the groceries!/  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
"... (if only time stopped, now ...) ..."  
  
Nimble hands cleared away the spilled, soggy mess with a wet   
rag. It was warm inside the kitchen. A warmth that made one   
linger, made one wish to stay still and savor, never leaving.  
The warmth of a place called 'happiness.'  
  
"Did you say something, Fuugen?" Taikoubou looked up from the  
carrots he was chopping up.  
  
"Hm?" Blue-violet eyes blinked innocently. "No, why did you ask,  
Bou-chan?"  
  
"Keh. I AM going to catch you out, one of these days."  
  
"I really don't know what you're talking about ..."  
  
Taikoubou shrugged, and proceeded to change the subject. Fuugen  
never talked until he was good and ready to.  
  
"Would you like me to tell you about how I took the Houshin  
Project? You never asked, but ... well, I'm gone first light  
tomorrow."  
  
"... that late? I thought you should have left two days ago."  
  
"... # ... couldn't wait to kick me out, could you?"  
  
"Bou-chan ... you're an idiot."  
  
"AM NOT."  
  
A soft sigh. They understood each other very well.  
  
"I'm afraid I'll keep you if you stayed, baka no Bou-chan."  
  
"I kinda guessed." Taikoubou grimaced. "Did you wanna hear about   
how I pissed the old man off or not?"  
  
There was a loud, resounding *WHAP* as the knife chopped the   
root neatly into many thread-like pieces, hitting the cutting   
board hard.  
  
"Do go on." Fuugen smiled. He /had/ wondered how Genshitenson  
had presented the Project to Bou-chan - but it wasn't his way  
to make Bou-chan talk unless Bou-chan wanted to.  
  
/... most of the time./   
  
================================================================  
ENROUTE TO THE NINGENKAI  
  
As he made his way down the mountain, Mokutaku could not help   
but think. He thought a lot, mostly about susuu and shishou. He   
thought about what susuu and shishou were to each other, and   
what they were to him.  
  
/What is susuu to me?/  
  
His susuu was like a friendly, mischievious uncle or big   
brother. He remembered times when his susuu would "show him   
something really neat" - and promptly get scolded by shishou for   
"corrupting the young".   
  
He remembered all those times susuu took him on outings -   
climbing trees or fishing or digging for crickets, making and   
teaching him to make grass-pipes and leaf-whistles and   
bamboo-water-guns, or even just lying down on the grass, gazing   
heavenwards, naming the stars and watching the clouds go by.  
  
He remembered times when susuu would sneak treats to him,   
leaving candies and peaches in his desk drawer when shishou   
didn't notice.  
  
//You're a kid. Kids need to have SOME sweets other than the   
disgusting health-crap Fuugen's been feeding ya - or it's not   
much of a childhood at all.//  
  
//... shishou doesn't cook 'disgus-disguwhazzit' food.//  
  
//Bou-chan, what are you telling Mokutaku again?//  
  
//NO-THING~ *whistling* NOTHING at all ...//  
  
//... you ARE teaching him one of your pranks.//  
  
//Spoilsport. Like you never pulled any when YOU were a   
doushi.//  
  
//I am a sennin now, Bou-chan. I have to set an example for my   
pupil.//  
  
//Fake saint. Fuugen's a fake saint!//  
  
//Bou-chan no baka.//  
  
Yes, both shishou and susuu were like his family.   
  
"... as long as they are happy together ..."  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
"... can't you be a little more enthusiastic about hearing it?"   
Taikoubou moved on, from mutilating carrots to skinning potatos.   
"You know that the kuso-jiji -"  
  
"Bou-chan." Fuugen's voice, while reproving, held a note of  
laughter.  
  
"Okay, just 'jiji' then. He showed me the Houshin Dai where the  
souls are supposed to be sealed, and tossed this at me."  
  
The thump of a falling object. An official-looking scroll,   
tightly rolled-up and tied together with a crimson rope, landed   
atop the kitchen counter.   
  
"... is that ...?"  
  
"Yep. The Scroll of Houshin - THE List of youkai-sennin to go   
'ping!', according to the jiji. I want you to make a copy and   
keep that copy you make for yourself."  
  
"... you want me to do research on the people on the list."  
  
It wasn't a question.  
  
"Hell, yeah. It's gonna be a long and tedious bit of work, and I   
knew even with your hacking and data-processing speed, it can't   
be done within a month, maybe more. So ..."  
  
Fuugen finished his sentence for him.  
  
"So, you'd like me to work on that, while you excute the Project   
with what knowledge you have at hand."  
  
"Yeah. The old man's hiding something from me, I know it ... but   
still, all that work of making it look like I did NO work at all  
must've worked. It'll be something like a trial period, testing   
me out before he decides to give me the information." [4]  
  
Bou-chan had that devil-may-care grin on his face again.  
  
"Of course, since you have other sources ..." Fuugen laughed.  
  
"Yep. Well, gotta 'husband' all my resources wisely, ne?"  
  
The two burst out in a fit of laughter at the pun.  
  
"... (snicker)... you're TERRIBLE, Bou-chan."  
  
"I know. (You KNOW I'm a naughty, naughty boy~)"   
  
"... teeheeheehe ..." Fuugen wiped another tear away from the   
corner of his eye. "So, how do you want me to send the   
information to you? Via backup?"  
  
"Of course." Taikoubou shrugged, starting to chop up the   
potatoes. "You can't expect /him/ to let me run around   
unsupervised and muck up the Project, right? There WILL be   
someone spying on me, and I'm counting on it."  
  
"I think I can find out who it is." Fuugen tasted the porridge,  
and decided it was done. "You do realize, that the spy will   
likely be your replacement should you be considered unfit to   
continue the Project."  
  
"Then I'll just have to win 'em over to my cause." Bou-chan   
grinned, cockily. "It'll be good for me, working my butt off   
without you to cover for me."  
  
"Why am I not surprised?"  
  
"Stop teasing." Taikoubou set the two bowls of 'processed'   
vegetables in front of Fuugen. "Now cook."  
  
"Yes, Master Commander of the Houshin Project."  
  
"Hmph. Oh, in case you were worrying, I played dumb about the   
Houshin Keikaku - can't have the geezer picking on you for   
giving out 'confidential info' - and royally suckered him into   
thinking I don't want the assignment.  
  
"I wanted some quality time to say 'goodbye', so I told him to  
give me three days to think about it. Tomorrow is when I'm   
giving him my answer."  
  
"And here I was, worried that you were finding it too   
comfortable here to leave ..."  
  
"Hey, you did the right thing." Taikoubou sighed, watching   
Fuugen stir-fry the potato and carrot strips. "I sure will miss  
your cooking."  
  
"Is THAT all you will miss?"  
  
"What would happen if I said 'yes'?"  
  
================================================================  
A SMALL VILLAGE IN THE NINGENKAI  
  
"Come visit us again soon, doushi-sama!"  
  
"Hai!" Mokutaku laughed as he bid the peasant woman farewell,   
a little embarrased at the honorific.  
  
He was not used to the reverence which the people of Ninkai   
showed the sendou. Every time he came down from Mount Konron, to  
exchange Fuugen-shishou's herbal remedies for supplies, it was  
the same type of welcome.  
  
/Well, I suppose it could have been worse. It could have been  
fear rather than respect./  
  
Mokutaku remembered how frightened the people were, ten year   
ago, when Fuugen-shishou had accompanined him down to this   
village the first time.   
  
/They ran from us, thinking we were youkai-sennin until   
Fuugen-shishou set the broken leg of a girl who could not run  
from us, handicapped by her leg./  
  
That young girl was now a grown woman, married and with three  
children - the same peasant woman he had just bartered supplies   
from.  
  
/... she was MY age then./  
  
He bit his lip. Fuugen-shishou had explained to him that this   
was one of the drawbacks of choosing the life of sendou - that  
mortal acquaintances would age and die before their time.  
  
/Dear Kami, what must I look like to her? I haven't changed at  
all, at least in appearance.../  
  
Perhaps it was not so hard to understand why the people treated  
sendou as gods. Even if he was beginning to understand, it was   
not a comfortable thought.  
  
/Fuugen-shishou, this is why you dissuaded me from becoming a  
doushi, isn't it?/  
  
When he had met shishou for the first time ... their first   
meeting ... he had known his father was a doushi, and both he   
and Nii-sama had inherited sennin-kou from his father. Before  
him, Nii-sama had already been taken to Konronsan, to train   
as a doushi.   
  
So when a sennin had come down from Konronsan, seeking a   
student, he was not surprised.  
  
//My name is Fuugen Shinjin. What is yours, young one?//  
  
//... Mo - Mokutaku. Er, how do you do?//  
  
He remembered the gentleness in blue-violet eyes, his   
fascination with the ethereal creature before him - he had   
thought that Fuugen was sennyo.   
  
/Well, what I saw of Monjyu-susuu, when he fetched Nii-sama  
away, gave me the impression that sennin were all strangely  
dressed folks who talked about incomprehensible things./  
  
Fuugen had been very clear, very down-to-earth - for the  
seven-year-old child he had been - even in the questions he   
asked.  
  
//I am well, thank you for inquiring my welfare. How do you   
do, Mokutaku?//  
  
//... I am well, sennin-sama, thank you very much.//  
  
//You don't have to call me that, Mokutaku.//  
  
//What should I call you, then, sennin-sama?//  
  
//You may call me Fuugen.//  
  
And then, because he could not think of anything else to say:  
  
//What are you doing down here, Fuugen?//  
  
//I am here to find a student, Mokutaku. Do you know what it   
means to become a sennin?//  
  
Feeling greatly daring, he had answered.  
  
//No ... but I would like to be a sennin.//  
  
//Why?//  
  
He had shook his head, surprised by the question.  
  
//Well ... well, because my father is training to be one, and  
so is my Nii-sama. I want to be like them.//  
  
//You'll have to give me a better reason, Mokutaku.  
The hardest thing to do, is to be yourself.  
That, and to be better than yourself.  
Do not use other people to measure YOUR worth.  
Only ask yourself this: am I a better person than I was   
yesterday?//  
  
It had made sense, Fuugen's words. He had thought hard over the  
answer to give.   
  
//If I was a sennin, I would learn a lot of things.//  
  
Fuugen had nodded.  
  
//I ... I am only a child who does not know a lot. But I know   
that there are things I can only learn if I was a sennin. Things  
that no one who is not sennin can tell me. I want to know the   
answers ...//  
  
//What are your questions?//  
  
And they came pouring, the questions he had asked, but was   
always answered with "it just is so" or "it had always been so"  
and "children should be seen and not heard" ...  
  
//Why is the sky blue? How do the dragons bring rain? How  
far is the distance between heaven and earth, and what are the  
stars made of? Why can't you mix water and oil? Why is it when  
you cry to the mountains, they answer with echoes? How does ...  
  
//I want to know these things, all these things and more, and I   
do not know anyone who can tell me.//  
  
Instead of bading his tongue still, Fuugen had listened,   
solemnly and intently, and nodded, smiling.  
  
//That is a good reason. But ... to learn the answers, you would  
have to give something up. Something very precious. Do you know   
what that is?//  
  
//... no. What?//  
  
He had not known. He could not have understood the concept of  
"mortality", or of the sacrifice it meant to give it up - but  
Fuugen had told him, in terms that a seven-year-old child  
would understand.  
  
//Sennin live for a long, long time - not forever, but very   
close to it. And we do not grow old as fast as mortals do.  
If you become a sennin, you will see all your human friends and  
relatives grow old, and die before you do - everyone who is not   
sennin or doushi.  
  
//Everything, everyone. The city you grow up in might have  
fallen into ruins, been rebuilt or even changed names. People   
you think you KNOW will not be the people you know, but their   
children, or their children's children, or THEIR children's  
children's children.  
  
//People who know you, you may not recognize, they would have  
grown so different, so old. They might even have forgotten you,   
it's been that long since you left. A boy you used to play with   
may be a old man when you return. Can you bear that? Do you want   
the answers that much?  
  
//I will be your teacher only if you wish, truly, to become one  
of the sendou. I will take you as a student only if you still   
wish to become a sennin despite knowing this.//  
  
He had thought over Fuugen's words. And answered.  
  
//... yes.//  
  
//Are you sure?//  
  
//Yes.//  
  
//What will you do, when the things I told you of happens?//  
  
//I'll worry about it when it happens.//  
  
//... Mokutaku?//  
  
//It won't happen for a long time, yet, right? I DO want to know   
the answers that much ... and Father and Nii-sama are doushi -   
so I won't be lonely. I won't be the only one. And I will also   
be there to make sure they won't be alone, that they won't be  
lonely, when that happens ...//  
  
//You are a thoughtful child, Mokutaku.//  
  
Fuugen had patted his head.   
  
//I will be your teacher.//  
  
Later, much later, when he understood what he had given up ...   
he did not regret. He had known a world that was open to the   
eyes of sendou, a world of knowledge that he could not have   
turned away from, even after knowing the cost.  
  
//Mokutaku ... you are still young.  
Someday, you will grow to need someone special - you willfall   
in love. Be careful, when you do love ...  
Because if you loved a mortal, you will not have much time   
with them before you lose them.//  
  
Fuugen had told him this. It made him wonder if shishou had  
been speaking from past experience.  
  
/... who had shishou loved?/  
  
Shishou's words always made him think, and they were always   
sound advice once he puzzled out what shishou was trying to tell  
him. The girl ... now the woman he saw today, drove that point   
home to him, deeply.  
  
//Happiness is a fleeting moment, gone, in the blink of an eye,  
as all mortal things do.//  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
"... Bou-chan."   
  
Interesting, how Fuugen could convey the dangerous note of   
"you're-DEAD-just-you-wait-I'll-deal-with-you-later" with a   
single word.   
  
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Taikoubou threw up his hands  
hastily, up and down, in a conceding gesture of defeat. "I   
shouldn't have said that, I've been bad, I'm sorry, I'm   
really really sorry, I'm ..."  
  
As expected, it made Fuugen laugh.  
  
"Silly Bou-chan." The sennin made quick work of the dish he  
prepared, and scooped the stir-fried vegetables onto a plate.  
  
"Well, you're not angry any more, right?" He knew he was  
asking for it - but oh, it was such fun, baiting and   
counter-baiting each other like this. "Fuugen is very   
easy to please, if you know the right words to say and the  
right things to do and ..."  
  
"... that reminds me." That dangerous note was in Fuugen's   
voice again, as the sennin doused the fire of the stove. "I   
have not said I would forgive you yet."  
  
"Wait a second - you said that 'there was nothing to forgive' -"  
Uh-oh. Fuugen did had him there.   
  
There was nothing to forgive, but he was not forgiven.  
  
/... FUUGEN, so I'm 'nothing' now?! (||||||bbbb)/  
  
"Found the hole in that train of thought yet?"  
  
Ouch. THAT tone. The "we will talk. NOW." tone.   
  
"Fuugen ... I'm sorry." The tone that could be alleviated  
by only one means. "I am /really/ sorry ..."  
  
Taikoubou dropped his fool's manner, and turned serious.  
  
"... you know me too well."  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, OUTSIDE HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
Mokutaku let out a long whoosh as he sat down, taking a rest   
from the ardous climb up the moutain side. The doushi wiped his   
brow, feeling the wind's chill touch against feverish skin.  
  
/... strange. I'm happy, just resting in peace like this ... /  
  
He thought a lot. Sometimes, Fuugen-shishou had to tell him to  
do things rather than just think about them, giving him a   
little push, a nudge to make him ACT rather than think.  
  
For Mokutaku, quiet, still moments like these were the best   
moments to roll thoughts over in his mind, turning them this way   
and that to fully examine them. They are also the moments when   
he tended to experience an abrupt appreciation of happiness.  
  
//... happiness is a rare thing. It is even rarer to find   
someone to share it.//  
  
Who had told him that? Was it ... yes, it /was/ shishou who   
had told him that.   
  
"... as long as they ARE happy together ..."  
  
To him, Fuugen-shishou and Taikoubou-susuu no less "family   
members" than relatives sharing the same blood. They were as   
dear to him as Niisama and Kaasan and Tousan were.  
  
"... it matters to me, that they are happy - together."  
  
Somehow, Mokutaku knew that these idyllic days would not last   
much longer. Something was about to happen.  
  
//See, I'll be leaving the Senninkai soon.//  
  
It was something serious, for his susuu to leave the realm of   
the sendou.   
  
/... something is going to happen .../  
  
He looked up in the sky, seeing a streak of light cross the   
afternoon sky. A falling star, burning so fiercely that it was   
visible even in the light of the setting sun.   
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
"... Bou-chan?"  
  
Taikoubou had his arm about the Fuugen's waist.  
  
"I'm sorry, Fuugen." Green eyes gazing earnestly into his,   
unusually serious. "I've ... I've taken you for granted, these  
days. I know that this - well, talking like this isn't like me,  
but there is so much I want to say, so much I want to tell you   
and either I can't not yet or I don't have the time to say them   
or say them the way I want to ..."  
  
The doushi trailed off in a self-conscious laugh.  
  
"I'm rambling, aren't I?"  
  
"I'm listening, Bou-chan." Fuugen smiled. "Sometimes, I simply   
like to listen - it helps me to see things the way you do."  
  
"Yeah. That's one of the things I like about you ..." Bou-chan's  
voice shifted to his usual, the one with the casual, lazy drawl.   
"But you know what I like best about you?"  
  
"Bou-chan ...?" Startled, Fuugen looked up.  
  
It was a mistake.  
  
"I like your smile the best of all."  
  
Mesmerized, held by the light in brilliant emerald eyes.  
  
"When you smile, it's as if the sun is shining."  
  
He could not look away.  
  
"Bou-chan ...?" Tentatively, heat crawling up his cheeks, he  
smiled.  
  
"Hey, not THAT smile." Bou-chan pulled one of those demented   
faces - one of those incrediblily SILLY faces that had never   
once failed to tug the corners of his mouth upwards, making him  
smile.  
  
"The other one." Emerald eyes smiled at him, the warmth of them  
defined /his/ definition of sunlight. "Yeah, THAT one."  
  
"... when you really are smiling."  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, OUTSIDE HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
Thoughtfully, Mokutaku watched the trailing blaze of a star   
divide the sky in two.  
  
//Hey, Mokutaku. There's a shooting star. Make a wish before it   
disappears.//  
  
//I wish ... I wish everyone would live happily ever after.//  
  
//Mokutaku, there are limits to what any one person can do.   
Wish for something possible.  
Wish only for something that you can accomplish yourself.  
That would be far more worth wishing for than an empty   
promise.//  
  
//Oi, Fuugen, must you turn everything into a philosophy   
lesson?//  
  
//What did you wish for, Bou-chan?//  
  
//Me? I wished that I'd be able to figure out the pass codes to   
the stores.//  
  
//... are you going to fetch more peaches again, susuu?   
Can I come too? PLEASE?//  
  
//BOU-CHAN.//  
  
//Ah- hahahahahhah. I dunno what you are talking about,   
Mokutaku. Peaches? What peaches?//  
  
No, this idyllic state will not last - this happiness will not   
last.  
  
/... something is going to happen .../  
  
Mokutaku wasn't stupid. He knew the rumours of unrest in the   
Ningenkai as well as any other doushi. And with his infrequent  
visits to the Ningenkai, Mokutaku knew that they were not only   
rumours.   
  
They were fact.  
  
While the terrible conditions had not yet reached Chintou Kan,   
where his parents lived... Mokutaku knew it would only be a   
matter of time before it did.  
  
/Kaasan, Tousan ... how are you now?/  
  
Shishou was right. There were only so much he can do. So he   
wished for something that was not impossible. Something within  
his reach. Something for the happiness of those he cared for.  
Those who were his family.  
  
"... I wish happiness for shishou and susuu."  
  
It was a selfish wish. But ... it was something he could help   
accomplish.  
  
"That's close enough, Fuugen-shishou, ne?" Mokutaku smiled   
after the comet.  
  
================================================================  
KOKYUSAN, HAKKUSHIRU DOU  
  
"Just listen to me, Fuugen ... I sound like a blithering idiot.  
But this - this may be the last time we have together, to talk  
together like this - and I want to make the most of it."  
  
Taikoubou knew it sounded like a monologue. But Fuugen ...   
Fuugen /listened/. He was good at that. If he had asked, the  
sennin could have repeated what he said, word for word.  
  
"I know that it sounds silly, coming from me - especially since  
I haven't been really making the most of the time we have to   
talk. It's as much my fault as it is yours ... "  
  
Talking out loud to Fuugen helped him ORGANIZE his thoughts,  
helped him string the rambling, quicksilver slippery ideas into  
a tight line that held strong against further distractions.  
  
"... because you know me too well. You know me too well, so well   
that you know me better than myself. You know me so well that I   
... I don't have to choose words around you. I guess that's why   
I've gotten careless and took you for granted lately, and I'm   
sorry about that."  
  
It wasn't even half of what he wanted to say, what he needed to   
say, what he wanted to tell Fuugen, what he NEEDED to tell   
Fuugen. What Fuugen needed to hear ...  
  
"Now that I have to go, I don't want to. I don't want to go,   
even though this is the chance I've worked so hard for, what we   
BOTH worked so hard for - I'm afraid. I'm afraid to tell you how   
much I am afraid ..."  
  
And there were things that they both wanted to hear, but neither  
of them would say to each other. For the best of reasons, the   
best of intentions, those words must not be spoken.  
  
/Not here, not now - not the right time./  
  
"I am afraid, too, Bou-chan." Fuugen nodded, slowly. "I ... know  
this feeling, I knew that you would feel this way, that /I/   
would feel this way. To have wanted something for so long, and   
put so much of yourself into attaining that singular goal -"  
  
"The fear that it's all unreal," Taikoubou pressed his forehead  
to Fuugen's. "The fear that it's only a dream, that it's not   
really happening ... that's part of it, but not all of it."  
  
"Bou-chan, I would be lying if I said that I wanted you to go."  
Fuugen's arms hugged him back, tightly. "I /can/ make you stay.  
I have the power to make you stay, I would like you to stay -   
but I can't. And we both know why."  
  
"Why?" It almost ruined the moment. "Stop laughing, Fuugen! You   
know it's a joke."  
  
"... Bou-chan." Cheek against Bou-chan's, Fuugen closed his   
eyes.This might be the last time he would be able to do this, to   
rest his head in the hollow of this familiar shoulder, to speak   
of the naked truth on his mind so freely to the other half of   
his soul.  
  
"Yes. I ... I can't stay." Bou-chan's voice was shaking. "You   
know I can't stay. And I know I can't. This Project - the   
Houshin Keikaku - is what we both worked so hard for, and I   
can't give it up. We would both be disappointed if I did."  
  
"It doesn't make having to let go easier ..."  
  
"It doesn't make having to go away easier ..."  
  
"We /have/ worked too much for this to hold back, now." Fuugen   
was trembling in his arms. "I am afraid - I /am/ afraid for you.   
I know you will do your best, but it is a possibility - the   
possibility that you may die in this venture."  
  
"That's what this morning was all about, wasn't it?"  
  
Fuugen only nodded.   
  
"I know /you/ - that was your way of dealing with that fear, to  
drive me away - to do everything you can to drive me away, to   
make sure I would go before you changed your mind.  
  
"Fuugen, what I'm going to do IS gonna be dangerous. I don't   
intend to die, but I know the risks I'm taking - I know that I'm   
putting my life on the line, accepting this Project.  
  
"I won't do foolhardy things, but I have to take the risk, I   
have to go on this Project. This is my /life/, the path I chose  
to dedicate myself to. This is our dream. We've both gone too   
far to turn back now.   
  
"It IS dangerous. It's dumb to pretend otherwise - but, do I   
look to you like someone who'd die so easily?"  
  
"It doesn't make the fear any easier to bear." Fuugen sighed,  
deeply. "I ... I knew that it had to be one of us, and I know   
that /I/ can't be that person. I would go instead of you, if I   
could - but you're far more suited than I would ever be as the   
executor of the Houshin Project."  
  
"... What are you talking about? You're intelligent, you're as   
sneaky and manipulative as I am - and you CAN pull dirty tricks   
if you had to. What do you mean you're not as capable?"  
  
Fuugen laughed.  
  
"... the only reason I can match wits with you is because I KNOW   
you."  
  
"Explain, Fuugen. I don't understand ..."  
  
"Bou-chan, the only reason I'd be able to guess what others   
would do would be because I know YOU. By watching what you do,   
how you think, I can tell how others will react to YOUR actions.   
On my own, I cannot predict the motivations and actions of other   
people.  
  
"It is through your eyes, your words, your very action and deed   
that I am able to. You are the strategist. I am merely someone   
who understands how that strategist thinks."  
  
There was silence as Taikoubou digested this revealation.  
  
"Fuugen ... you became Jyuu Ni Sen, for me, didn't you?"  
  
"It was something entirely unsuited for your nature. But it was   
necessary, there must someone with the inside information,   
accessible only to the ranked-sennin. It had to be me, just as   
it had to be you - I am the one more suited to this task, as you   
are suited to yours."  
  
/You always were a free soul. You should not be chained to any  
place or anyone./  
  
"Thank you, Fuugen. I ... I don't know how to thank you."  
  
He wondered how he would manage without Fuugen.  
  
/I have to./  
  
"Thank me, then."  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Thank me by telling me about 'us'."  
  
".... (gulp)... Fuugen."  
  
"Is it that hard?"  
  
The forbidden words. The words that must not be said, truths   
that must not be heard, promises that must not be made.  
  
"... I can't make any promises - I just can't." If he did, if he   
made a promise ... "Because I can't be sure I'd be able to keep   
them, if I made them. Because I might have to break promises I   
made. Because I don't want to break any promise I make, any   
promise made to you.   
  
"But ... when this is all over ... I'll come back."  
  
/I will come back to you./  
  
The words he could not say. If he said them, he would have had   
no reason to come back. If he said them, he was afraid that he   
would not come back, having already said what he wanted to say.   
  
/'I love you' .../  
  
"Shhh. Bou-chan."  
  
Fuugen was telling him to 'stop right there.'  
  
"I'll come back to you. You know I will." Taikoubou refused to   
take the hint. "You know why I will. I can't say it - I can't   
say the words now ... but I will when I come back. It'll be the   
reason I /have/ to come back to."  
  
"Bou-chan, shut up."  
  
Taikoubou did not like the way Fuugen was eyeing a metal pot by   
the side. So he did.  
  
"Thank you, Bou-chan." Fuugen smiled. "That's all I wanted to   
hear. If you tried making promises more binding than this, I   
would have kept you from saying the words."  
  
/I would have stopped you, using force if necessary./ [5]  
  
"Help me clear all these dirty pots and pans away, Bou-chan."   
  
"Eh?" The abrupt shift in Fuugen threw Taikoubou for a loop.   
  
"And set the table, Bou-chan, it's dinner time."  
  
"... Fuugen?" Was he missing something there?  
  
"Mokutaku, aren't you going to come in for dinner?"  
  
It took all of Fuugen's control to keep from laughing out loud   
at the resultant blushes of those two.  
  
================================================================  
~tbc~  
================================================================  
[1] The premise of getting a "sennin license" much like getting  
a "driver's license", as shi imagines it. ^_^  
[2] See Fuugen's first manga appearance in vol. 13. He DID have  
an earring like that on his right ear that mysteriously   
disappears later in thecontrol room of Koronsan. Hmmmm.   
Where did it go?  
[3] Gomen for those of you looking for H. ^^;  
Those two only - er - cuddled and kissed a bit.   
Dinner IS still in progress, you know ...  
[4] ... writing Bou-chan talk is like writing tongue-twisters,  
sometimes. He has a very carefree and slangy style of   
speech.  
[5] Fuugen and violence ... it actually works. (sweatdrops)  
================================================================  
Shin no Freetalk:  
  
SWEEET~  
(debate to self: should shi have subtitled this MFO -   
aka "Mokutaku Finds Out"? ^^;;;;;)  
  
Looks like the rest of "Gyokutei interrogating Fuugen's motives"  
would have to be moved to part vii.  
As well as the scene where Youzen gets Fuugen, and the start of   
the Houshin Keikaku ... lots of other scenes.  
  
Mmmm. The idea of Fuugen inspiring fear ... ^^; -- shi like~~  
Well, both Youzen AND Bou-chan are treading veddie, veddie   
carefully about him, ne?  
  
Request. More specifically, readers' requests. Yes, there are  
those. On one end, there are people telling shi to be 'nicer'  
to ouji-sama. On the other, there are people asking for more  
Youzen-torture scenes.   
  
... shi is a very self-centered person.  
  
AS PLANNED IN SHI'S PLOT, BOTH OF THE ABOVE WILL HAPPEN.  
  
... MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.  
  
AND STOP SINGING IN SHI'S BRAIN, BOU-CHAN-SUSUU. *growls*  
The fuu/tai scene in this part is all HIS fault.  
Well, his fault, and nyan's, and Deep Blue's, and Ushi's.  
Why? Go look at the freetalk in the poem by itself. _  
  
And very oddly, shi's gaining the urge for Mokutaku to have the  
nickname of "susuu-chan" for Taikoubou ...  
  
The child thinks over much.   
Fuugen's taught him that way - to figure out the answers which  
apply to himself on his own.   
(Mokutaku: ^_^ I'm still learning. What's good for the goose  
isn't necessary good for the gander, you see.)  
Shi had NOT planned for that to happen. AT ALL.  
... *weeps* ... Shi has a budding philosopher in her brain.  
  
MUCH LATER:  
  
You're dead, Bou-chan. You're SO dead.   
  
Taikoubou forced shi to tack another +20K worth of   
heart-to-heart chat w/ Fuugen on, making this part even longer  
than it's supposed to be. It's broken 60K!   
It WAS done on the 19th of November, but just to organize all  
the things he wanted to say ... ugh. Shi has a 20% report due  
shi must work on now. In 3 hours. _   
  
Noooooo~~~~ *wails*  
Wish me luck. LOTS of it.  
  
mail shi-chan at kichin@doushi.org with any comments! ^o^  
================================================================  
Sneak previews of what's going to happen next:  
  
Bou-chan plys Fuugen w/ alcohol.  
Midnight rendez-vous.  
... and Youzen gets to hear Fuugen sing.  
================================================================  
First Edition: November 19th, 2000 at 10:15 PM  
Last Revised: November 23th, 2000 at 1:12 PM  
================================================================  



End file.
